chapotraphouse

I don't know myself. To be honest, I just gave up on the prospect of having a family and currently skillmaxxing to cope. But I find that it's easier to find people to talk to and make friends when you have something to accomplish or just do together, like college, some random classes, gardening club and such. And sometimes you know, friends might become more than friends. Or might not. Wouldn't hurt to try, eh?

ban dating apps. all people must only meet at cracker barrel and approved walmart parking lots

i met my girlfriend on tinder. i’ve had multiple dates before off other dating platforms as well. facebook dating seemed the easiest to match with and talk to real people but that was back in its beta mode so i can’t speak for how it is now it’s definitely hard tho. especially when sometimes it seems like you’re clicking with someone and they just ghost you. but you’ll find someone you like who likes you too eventually. if i can do it then i think anyone can

Dating apps make money by creating feelings of loneliness and desperation, and then selling you a promise of connection. But if they actually delivered, then you wouldn't be a repeat customer, would you? That's why dating apps are a pit of despair, I wouldn't recommend them.

I met my gf on Bumble after trying all the different apps. Dating sucks. It sucked before dating apps too. It just sucks different ways and in different intensities now. Don't take it personally. It's just the nature of it. Keep trying (not to the point of causing yourself pain) and you'll find cool people.

For what it's worth Bumble is what worked best for me. Actually got the most dates out of it.

Conversations with total strangers on an app is liberalism. Ask them out in the first like/message.

"Hey, (person name) I really dig your profile, would you like to take a walk in the park or grab a cup of tea sometime?"

It's that easy. No conversations, ever. Like another comrade said, masc presenting/dudes never ask women out. So you will be a refreshing change of pace. You can't tell if you like someone via text anyway. You'll find out within 15 minutes in person. (In my opinion)

Ask out everyone you're interested in at a slow pace. Line up three dates for the weekend. Expect two to cancel.

Going to events, hobby meetups, clubs, etc, is always going to be 100x more effective at meeting people than the accursed apps. They have a financial incentive for you to be unsatisfied and keep swiping. Obviously don't be that person who shows up just to try to pick up people, but seriously you gotta go outside. I understand if maybe you live in a remote area and there aren't many things going on, but in almost every situation going outside is more effective and less demoralizing than the apps. Especially if you can find something that's regular and you can attend weekly or monthly or whatever. That's how connections form naturally, by being in the same place as other people and slowly getting to know them. This thing where we look at some photos of people and then immediately try to talk intimately with them is extremely unnatural, it's no wonder it doesn't work very well.

How does anyone meet anyone anymore?

Take up social hobbies, anything from rock climbing to tabletop rpgs will push people together
Meeting people this way also ensures you definitely have something in common

Idk I get lots of likes and everything but guys literally just won't ask me on a date? I'll say something like "Oh I wanna meet first haha just to know you're not a crazy person and stuff" and they're like "haha yeah ok'" and then never actually plan a fucking date. Like come on.

On the other hand I have met multiple friends on dating apps lol. But that's way less pressure. I did meet a very long term partner on an app too I've had luck with them, I'm just honestly frustrated with how the men are, and how they basically want to fuck and don't want to put any basic legwork in.

Hinge is a weird name for a dating app, sounds like the kind of place I'd go to to find a racist uncle to date.

Met my gf on Hinge. 5 free likes a day was plenty, I "liked" only people I legitimately was interested in going on a date with and sent them a message with the like. If they liked me back they'd usually send their own message (70%? more often than not) and I'd pitch a casual coffee date within a few messages. If they just "liked" me without responding I wouldn't double-text. If people aren't responding to you, I think there's probably something wrong with your messages. E.g. if you are sending like "hi", "what's up?", etc, people aren't gonna respond. If you message first (especially if you are masc) you gotta be prepared to carry the conversation and also show that you've looked at their profile. There may also be something wrong with your profile. Maybe you have a disqualifying quality, like being a communist, that people only notice after matching with you. If so I would suggest to make possible deal-breakers and red flags more obvious in your profile. Cuts down on the useless matches and makes your profile more interesting to the ones you're interested in.

You've probably already noticed this but in my experience Hinge skewed conservative. Pity since it's the best dating app tech-wise.

I’ve met some really good people through dating apps but it really is a numbers game. I’d say that on average out of 100 matches I only have 4-5 conversations that last longer than a few days before one of loses interest and stops replying. It can be pretty disheartening to churn through so many people but from my experience it pays to be picky. I’ve only ever been on 5 dates through dating apps but they all turned into relationships because I didn’t waste my time with anyone I didn’t feel a mutual connection with.

Stick with it and eventually you’ll find someone, just gotta be patient. Also it depends on where you are but I’ve found bumble to be the best as the girls on there are usually much more serious

Dating apps are literally luck based. At some point you'll see someone you like and they'll like you back, sure, but in reality that person might not be looking right now, or might be on a date with someone else and ignore their other matches until it falls through, or they might have given up altogether.

The hardest thing, but the best thing imo, is to try and back off a bit: do a few swipes on a break at work or whatever and then ignore it for the day. Maybe a few messages then ignore it for the day.

As for meeting people (albeit platonically in my experience), there are loads of activities that people like to do and meet people. Stuff like board games cafés often host mixers. My partner does gymnastics at an adults class where she's met friends. I know others who do climbing, running clubs, all sorts. You can probably find something you like by searching up a hobby you enjoy and "mixer" or "social".

met my absolute dream girl on Hinge a few weeks ago after grinding for a few months and getting curved multiple times. Keep on swiping it's worth it!