I paid 17 dollars for the week pass allowing me unlimited likes 💀 of course because I’m desperate and they force you into that choice because using it for free you only get 5 free likes a day lmao. The problem is NOBODY fucking responds back to my messages, I’ve had 2 conversations out of 20 matches, one of the convos died after I asked them out, the other convo just ended abruptly for no apparent reason. It’s really demoralizing to say the least but I just don’t understand, if they don’t like me and accidentally sent a like they should just unmatch right away but they don’t.

The future is grim. How does anyone meet anyone anymore?

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[–] Lerios@hexbear.net 3 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

i've heard about these and i'm interested. i'm not in the US but i am in a very large city, so they presumably exist, but i've no clue how to find one - fetlife was my only lead and that appears to be kind of dead. i picked up a flyer for a regularly scheduled kink party at pride, but that seems to be pretty intense and have a very high bar of entry (expensive elaborate dress code)

if i can find them, would it be weird to go to one of those as a virgin? i don't really know what i'm looking for or how to talk about some of these things 🙃 would it be safe to go alone as a visibly afab person?

[–] GaveUp@hexbear.net 2 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

I'm not into my scene, just been to a few and know friends who go a lot. You should def try to find fem parties, they exist where I am. Also, just coincidence but I went to a queer POC one and most people there were AFAB surprisingly. But the hosts were also mostly AFAB and it was largely private invite only

A lot of play parties are kinda private though since it needs to be a safe environment so you kinda just have to try and meet people in the scene. I didn't try to look for any but because I gravitate to people/spaces with lots of queers, drugs, art, and neurodivergence, there was a lot of overlap with kinksters

I don't think it'd be weird to go to one as a virgin. Actual penetrative sex and even oral sex in my area at least is rare since kink/play is much more expressive and varied than typical sex acts