BountifulEggnog

This is all made harder by trying to get something online, so all I have to go on is their measurements and a picture of a model who couldn't look more different from me if they tried.

I just want like one or two things that fit until I can shop irl

complaining about clothes

Wow, I just fucking love how any clothes I want only fit either my waist or hips. I was looking at yoga pants yesterday. Large fits my hips, XXL fits my waist. So like wtf do I even buy? It's like this for damn near all girl clothes too. Even the shirts have both measurements listed. Skirts, shorts, same thing. I feel like whatever I buy isn't going to fit me right and I'll feel awful.

Thank you

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Exactly. That's the exact feeling. What's gad by the way?

I have some too, this is kind of my second time around. Only some spots have scarred, but what is there I can't really get work done over unfortunately. Hope you get your sleeve soon, tattoos are cool too.

It just hurts and I need it to stop. Thank you.

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spoiler self harm urges Okay its getting worse. Want to self harm, literally can't though. There's nothing I can do. I want to cut why can't I. This is bullshit. Looks like I'm just in for some suffering. Many urges, deep sadness. :::

Its in the modlog if you want to see it, cw for slurs though.

sad

Just this low hanging fog over life today. I feel like an observer. Lots of dysphoria and envy. I just wish I looked different, had different clothes. It's a haze right now.

spoiler medical system bad/coming out I had a good talk with my therapist for the most part. He knows coming out is going to be hard and I'm going to have to explain a lot to my family (he thinks this is good). Not up for that right now though.

The bad part is he keeps misgendering me. Need to tell him to stop. Just wasn't feeling it today. Too sad to bother.

Oh also he seems to think "extremes" are bad, example being just immediately and uncritically accepting someone is trans. Fucking hell. Apparently questioning someone about it is good, actually. His example was asking if someone was being brainwashed. Idk he's just a fucker sometimes.

self harm

Tried to self harm the other day, knife is too dull and useless to do anything. Pisses me off I don't even have the option if I need it. So with that coping mechanism gone idk what to do if I start feeling worse.

In good news I guess I shaved my legs last night and they look/feel a lot better.

EDIT: I am now feeling better

That's awesome :cat-trans: I'm sure you being there helps a lot.

Sorry you have to deal with that

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Cisfemininity is a term used to describe cis individuals who were assigned female at birth and experience feminine gendered feelings to a greater extent than with masculinity.

Is this just being a cis woman and feminine?

There are officially too many words, give me your suggestions for words that should be deleted.