this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2024
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So that's bad, yeah, but just how bad is it? With help from Google and The Numbers' movie comparison feature, I can tell you this: It's really bad.

I present to you...

An Incomplete List of Shitty Videogame Movies That Made More Money Than Borderlands

(in no particular order)

  • Warcraft ($439 million)
  • Max Payne ($88 million) Doom ($59 million)
  • Street Fighter ($99 million)
  • Assassin's Creed ($241 million)
  • Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time ($336 million)
  • Hitman ($99 million)
  • Mortal Kombat (but Mortal Kombat is actually good) ($122 million)
  • Need for Speed ($194 million)
  • Five Nights at Freddy's ($297 million)
  • Uncharted ($401 million)

One big-budget, big(ish)-cast Hollywood film Borderlands managed to beat, which I bring up only because I paid good money to see it in theaters and I'm still sore about the whole thing, is Wing Commander, an utterly execrable celluloid waste of time and effort that bumbled to $11.5 million globally. Frankly I'm surprised it did that well.

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[–] rothaine@lemm.ee 37 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Hollywood budgets are insane these days.

I watched Godzilla -1. That movie was fucking boss, and apparently its budget was only $15 million. That's less than they spent removing the CGI buttholes from Cats.

[–] Zozano@lemy.lol 9 points 6 days ago (4 children)

Forgive my ignorance, but did they make CGI buttholes, then remove them before it premiered?

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 6 days ago

#releasethebuttholecut

[–] Vathsade@lemmy.ca 4 points 6 days ago

https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2020/04/cats-butthole-cut-vfx-editor

β€œWe went to call our supervisor, and we’re like, β€˜There’s a f--king a--hole in there! There’s buttholes!’”

[–] rothaine@lemm.ee 4 points 6 days ago

There was a rumor to that effect, yes. But I think it was mostly a meme πŸ˜‚

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[–] Tinks@lemmy.world 17 points 6 days ago

Crazy that they spent that much on marketing and I still had no idea that movie was coming until I read articles about how badly it bombed. Did they blow the marketing budget on hookers and blow and call it good?? What the hell happened here?!

[–] Tugboater203@lemmy.world 12 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I thoroughly enjoyed the Last of Us series. I do hope it ends where it is now, but it was some very good TV writing and acting.

[–] scbasteve7@lemm.ee 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Because the show writers are the same that wrote the game, last of us has a very strong advantage. They can't deviate from the plot and key elements because they are too invested in it. But they can change what they feel like is weaker, or wouldn't work as well in a show format. And its really noticable if you played both the game and the show. They've discussed how they already planned it to be a two season series, but they also mentioned if they have enough inspiration and they can figure out a way to make a third season that stays within the spirit of the story line, and they honestly enjoy it then they will.

With the first season being as good as it was, I have complete and utter faith in them.

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[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 11 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Uncharted was good too. Street Fighter is campy, but fun.

[–] Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world 8 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Yes. Although I would have enjoyed it more if it wasn't called Uncharted.

[–] Doom@ttrpg.network 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)

You probably wouldn't have heard or watched it. So many movies get made with lukewarm everything and nobody watches. Being uncharted got people to pay attention unfortunately

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Tom Holland is a pretty big draw. I think he might have carried the marketing. But you're probably right. The Uncharted name automatically gets everyone who enjoyed the video game. I never played the game, so I didn't have any expectations, but I knew about the movie because my wife played the game, and the title caught her attention.

[–] lepinkainen@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Tom Holland was good, but Marky Mark was a big β€œmeh”.

And the end action set piece was too over the top bonkers for my taste

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Marky Mark is always kind of meh in everything except for The Italian Job, and The Departed. I haven't heard anyone call him Marky Mark in years! Haha. You must be my age.

[–] Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world 8 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Would Valve allow an aperture science/black mesa film?

[–] habitualcynic@lemmy.ml 3 points 5 days ago

I’ve wanted this so badly for years

[–] shasta@lemm.ee 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 5 points 6 days ago (1 children)

And I guarantee if Valve allowed it, they'd be involved enough to make sure it didn't suck

[–] lazyViking@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago

Why would you guarantee that?

I never realized any of those were movies.

[–] SplashJackson@lemmy.ca 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Still waiting for a Duke Nukem movie

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[–] Macallan@lemmy.world 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)

There was a Borderlands movie?

[–] Emperor 9 points 6 days ago

No, and let's keep it that way!

[–] cows_are_underrated@feddit.org 5 points 6 days ago (1 children)

The FNAF movie is actually not that bad. It surely isn't masterpiece, but its good movie and also understandable for someone who barely knows anything about fnaf.

[–] Telodzrum@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

I still think The Banana Splits is a better movie, though.

[–] itsonlygeorge@reddthat.com 2 points 5 days ago

I don’t think the movie was that bad. Sure was predictable, but it was fun.

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