this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2025
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I think I need to call ICE and turn myself in. I'm from somewhere like Barbados, New Zealand, Uruguay or Italy....I've been living in the US for sooooo long that my English is practically perfect. Please deport me. My home country misses my economic contributions.

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[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago
> go to the US as a traveler from eastern europe
> get caught by ice
> claim you're a french canadian, your accent is actually just an even weirder french
> get deported
> free asylum in canada
[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 31 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Part of the dystopian horror is learning they don't care where you came from, and often will deposit you right into the hands of human traffickers.

And they'll lock foreign-looking American citizens in a room with no contact and no lawyer and say You have forty-eight hours to prove your citizenship. Good luck. Followed by deportation as above. So no, your birth certificate in a hospital in San Diego will not help you.

And between those places are the detention centers that are packed at over double maximum safe occupancy, which get super dirty and super infected, and the ICE troopers / PSCs would beat the crap out of people for fun.

Some of the scary bits of the German Reich concentration camp program are already happening here in the US.

[–] RabbitInTheWoodPile@lemm.ee 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I don't know if you know this....Shitposting is a way of blowing off stress.

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 day ago

I get that a lot. I am, however, against ostriching.

[–] yesman@lemmy.world 122 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] RabbitInTheWoodPile@lemm.ee 1 points 1 day ago

Uruguay it is then! Please threaten to send me to a country that has 98% renewable energy and a haven for all things open source. I just might be able to survive with my limited knowledge of Esperanto!

[–] oleorun@real.lemmy.fan 118 points 3 days ago

YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS FREE TRAVEL HACK coming to TikTok soon

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 67 points 3 days ago

yes please deport me to a place with healthcare.

[–] Diddlydee 60 points 3 days ago (5 children)

Been living in the US for so long that I pronounce buoy like a complete psychopath.

[–] RabbitInTheWoodPile@lemm.ee 1 points 1 day ago

Sounds like the brain damage has set in. Run child, save yourself!!

[–] Jerb322@lemmy.world 23 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] krashmo@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago (3 children)
[–] Skua@kbin.earth 20 points 3 days ago (2 children)

In British English it sounds the same as "boy"

[–] Diddlydee 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

*proper English, not simplified.

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Gotta add some pointless silent characters to everyone 👌

[–] PrettyFlyForAFatGuy 2 points 1 day ago

Keeps the foreigns confused

\s

[–] krashmo@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Hmm, interesting. I don't think I've heard that before.

[–] Diddlydee 17 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

It's literally how you (as in Americans) pronounce it when you say buoyant or buoyancy, but for some reason you go wild when pronouncing buoy.

[–] krashmo@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

If I had to guess it's due to the fact that a word pronounced like boy already exists. Never really thought about it before though.

[–] Skua@kbin.earth 2 points 2 days ago

I'm not sure if it was the pronunciation in all of the UK or just in parts of it, but historically there was also a "bwoy" pronunciation. I could imagine the American "boo-ee" descending from that

[–] thebigslime@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago (2 children)

It's regional in the US. Boo-ee is a western states thing.

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

I have never heard a pronunciation other than “boo-ee” and I’m from Connecticut

[–] lime@feddit.nu 5 points 2 days ago

i've heard it from pennsylvanians

[–] Jerb322@lemmy.world -3 points 3 days ago

Not sure. BooAy, maybe...

[–] Warl0k3@lemmy.world 17 points 3 days ago (2 children)

It seems like a real waste to put all those vowels in words just to ignore them.

[–] Korhaka@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 day ago

We took them from the Welsh, gotta find somewhere to stick them.

[–] Mr_Blott 8 points 2 days ago

Well you can fuck off to the back of the queue, bouy

[–] Professorozone@lemmy.world 22 points 2 days ago

Yeah, I was kind of wondering if there was a list of countries from which I could choose to be deported to. I mean my parents were American and I was born in America but that doesn't matter anymore, right. It would be great to be deported to someplace nice. I quite liked New Zealand when I visited. Do they take requests?

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 30 points 2 days ago (1 children)

SLPT: Not an immigrant? Can't afford to flee the country? Try getting deported by pretending to be a migrant!

[–] Shardikprime@lemmy.world 18 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

This product is obtained 'as is' and without any express or implied warranties, including warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. The government of the USA is not responsible in the case of not having legal means of ingress to the recipient country. The government of the USA accepts no liability for any damages, imprisonment, injuries, torture , kidnapping, extortion, homelessness or losses arising from the use or misuse of this service in the recipient country. Use at your own risk

How to get a free flight (100% foolproof trick)

[–] BigDiction@lemmy.world 20 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I see well without any documentation we’ll have to run a DNA analysis to try and determination your nation of birth.

Results are back. 23 and Me reports Yemen with 82% confidence. Wheels up in 10.

[–] Fredselfish@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Great deport my ass to France, got to better rhere then here.

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Your discount version of 23 and Me came back as Algeria?

[–] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 20 points 3 days ago

I just hope i never get deported to texas.
I've never lived there, but still.

[–] fallowseed@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

ukranian you say?