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Have Americans even seen what a goose does?

You’d have a hand around its neck, doing twirls for a shotput throw, and yeah, the goose goes like twenty-five meters back into the lake, and that’s fine.

But with a sinking realization as the goose fucks off, it stole your wallet.

1/3 of British people:

Americans are also some of the loudest, over-confident, self-absorbed, entitled people on the planet. Of course they believe they can take on any animal.

My apologies go out to the dozen other Americans who are cool.

There is a family legend about an amorous goose. I don't know it well enough to tell it properly though, I wasn't there when it happened. But I do not understand the Statesian confidence in goose warfare.

American male: I'm confident up to, but excluding the large dog. Now I'm sure there's a good chance I could win against a large dog, but it's not a big enough chance to call it "confident" and that's the first animal on the list where I can see things going very poorly for me if I don't handle the situation just right.

With the eagle, I'd probably get hurt (badly) and regret it, but what's the chance I'd lose the fight? I mean, their bones are fragile and once a wing is broken, it's game over for them.

Geese? We have Canada geese, amongst other species. They have a well-deserved reputation for their disagreeable personalities (especially when protecting their offspring). They can make you hurt if they wanted to, but an otherwise healthy adult human male can easily win in a fight with them as long as the human doesn't lose his nerve.

Anyone could easily beat a king cobra in a fight if they're able bodied, the venom doesn't effect you instantly

I noticed that too but I think the meme is constructed by juxtaposing a twitter post making the claim about how much time it would kill onto a text of someone testing the claim on their friend, so the twitter person turns out to be wrong but no fault should be applied to the text convo.

Depends what counts as winning. If leaving the arena counts as forfeit then I reckon I could beat a horse cus I don't think a horse has any desire to be there

If you get prep time surely its easy? What is the horse going to do, I can just make a few spears and set a stick on fire to wave in its face to scare it.

Suit up!

Put sharp shoes on, prance around celebrating your imminent death.

I don't think you could kill a horse in an open field without a long distance weapon. It's a flight animal, if you did any significant damage to it, you'd never come close enough to get it to fight you. Enclosed spaces, that's a different story (you still lose that, it's a horse).

Ok Mr. Hands...

Nah, a sheep would kick my ass. A salmon too probably.

I heard of a grandma taking a bobcat once, so maybe that?

The biggest problem is that most animals will never fight to the death. I could take multiple coyotes if I just need to scare them off. I could take a bear or mountain lion if all I need to do is not die.

Checkmate liberals! 😁

A horse with arms is much more dangerous. No way I could take it.

We'll spare no expense!

Nah

We have worked with hundreds of sloths over the years, (both wild and human-reared) and they can all inflict serious injuries if scared or irritated. We have seen a sloth bite through a human hand leaving a hole big enough that you could look through.

In addition to their seriously sharp teeth, sloths are astonishingly strong. Due to their specialized muscle structure, their muscles are pound for pound stronger than a human’s. Despite their small size, sloths are 3x stronger than the average person. Meaning that if you are up against an angry sloth who wants to bite you, chances are the sloth will be the winner of that wrestling match.

When they reach independence (at the age of about 18 months), even the most gentle of hand-reared sloths just do not want to be handled any longer.