This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
Anon has undiagnosed obsessive-compulsive behavior triggered by family trauma. Family guy sates his longing for a functional family where people talk to each other about what's bothering them, and an albeit formulaic structure, which he is missing in his real life.
That's a very convenient diagnosis, but this is still armchair psychology
Shut up, Meg
Jokes on you, I don't even own an armchair.
So you own a psychologist?
I keep him in a box, if that’s what you’re asking.
But is he alive or dead in that box?
Exactly.
yes, and also he is the armchair
Wait til we get started about Sonic.
shut up, Brian
Or he could just really like family guy
Gee Louis, that reminds me of the time I lost my job after watching Family Guy for 48 hours straight
CUT TO PETER AND HIS FATHER
PETER (screaming and fighting his father) You can't oppress me!
etc.
8 hours of work, 8 hours of sleep, 48 hours of Family Guy
is something wrong with me?
Yes
It's not that good a show. There's definitely something wrong with you.
I think anon never heard about the bird
The bird is greater than or equal to the word.
Is the word about a certain avian variety?
Oh, have you not heard? It was my understanding that everyone had heard…
Heard what?
A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird
B-b-b-bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word
A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word
A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a don't you know about the bird?
Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word!
A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a...
A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird
Bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a don't you know about the bird?
Well, everybody's talking about the bird!
A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird...
Surfin' bird
Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb... [retching noises]... aaah!
Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-
Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-oom-oom-oom
Oom-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-a-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow
Papa-oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow
Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow
Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow
Well don't you know about the bird?
Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word!
A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
[repeat to fade]