this post was submitted on 28 Dec 2024
1142 points (98.9% liked)
Facepalm
420 readers
1 users here now
Anything that makes you apply your hand to your face.
founded 5 months ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
It’s so sad that no one has read the fucking Bible.
Would an appropriate response to these people be RTFM?
As a progressive Christian, that's something I want to say almost everytime I read somethung written by an Evangelical.
I am not religious, but I have devoted a good chunk of time to reading the bible. If I can do it, someone who essentially stands to gain nothing by reading it can do it, so can and should all these greasy-ass politicians who use it as a political prop. The only thing more irksome than inflexibly, overly literal religious people, are phony religious people who don't even know what they're talking about. And then the next level of annoying beyond that is yhe voting public who allows the charade. They should be the ones pressing these politicians. "Two Corinthians" Donald? What the fuck are you talking about?
The pundits don't care what the Bible says, they like that their followers instead believe what they say the religion is about
You need the common folk to read and understand it if you want the religious leaders to lose their hold
No, see, you can do it because you have nothing to lose. If they actually read and understand the Bible, then they have to start living according to it, and that would suck. "For I say to you it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of the needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven?" No thank you sir, that would ruin my prosperity gospel!
To be fair to the camel, God hadn't heard of the Byford Dolphin incident yet.
Well that was a horrible read.
There was a translation error, IIRC. It's not a camel but a rope.
From the theologians I've read on the topic, it's not so much a translation error as a context issue. Apparently "the eye of the needle" was the name for one of the gates going into Jerusalem. It was very narrow, and a fully laden camel would never get through there. The only way to make it through was to first unburden the camel of its load. The theory goes that Jesus is presenting a metaphor; the rich man must unburden himself of his wealth, in the same way that the camel must be unburdened of its cargo.
Not vouching for that as the absolute truth of the matter, it's just the version I've been given to understand.
The bible’s a neat old book of parables and early concepts of morals. Like most things, the fanbase is probably the worst part.
Morals?
Like the devil convincing God to torture the faithful? Throughout the parable, I can hear Satan trying to suppress his laughter as he listens to Him godsplain Job's devotion.
If more people followed the lessons of the good Samaritan and the sheep and the goats, we might be better off
Also people who do a lot of backflips to justify readings where the text says "help the poor" and turn it into "don't help the poor" are probably scumbags.
If you like that then you might enjoy the funny possible euphemism of the whole "washing of feet" thing. It could be read as the actual act of washing feet but there's some places where it's definitely being used as a euphemism for getting your dick wet.
That slight ambiguity could mean that the last supper included an orgy with a lot of same sex pairings - which to be fair is pretty in keeping with the MO of a lot of other cult leadership throughout history. Most of the prudish sex negative stuff comes more from Paul's additions than directly through Jesus. But hoo boy do Christians get real mad when you imply this as a possibility.
I prefer to think "washing of feet" means exactly that, but it's a sex thing
If you got a foot fetish sure. But in bible foot or feet is used so many times for dick it is decently unlikely. "Foot water" is my favorite biblical euphemism for piss.
We may be more numerous than you think 😉.
(However still a minority indeed; but I prefer to be right alone than wrong with the crowd)
It’s easier to thump a bible when it’s closed.
I’ve never heard this before and I love it thanks for sharing that.
That's perfect, I'm gonna use that!
Not even the Bible. Have these people seriously not heard the words him and her prior to three years ago? Do they really think they are new words?
It's not that they haven't heard the words "him" and "her," it's that they haven't heard the word "pronoun." They don't know what it means, and think that it's something the trans community made up.
I mean perhaps we shouldn't steelman these people but that is obviously not what they're talking about when they complain about pronouns. But at the same time it's quite possible that many of them are seeing the word "pronoun" for the first time in their lives and have no concept of what it actually means.
Nah, fewer people should read it
I mean, most Christians haven't and they still exist. The only people I know who've read the whole thing are now 1) Not religious, or 2) Actively working in a church.
yep once you really understand the incoherent contradictory mess in its entirety you only have two options. Accept it as flawed human writings, or double down into esoterica and live inside the contradiction. You can't really be a normie Christian at that point, since modern whitewashed christianity is so alien to the bible itself.
Just gotta pick one gospel that vibes with you (should probably be Luke) and discard the rest.
John skips the camel needle thing though, so if you have money that's the one to keep
Dude it’s probably the most important and influential text of the western world. Everyone should read just to understand how it informs our current context. Not believing the bible and urging people to not read it is a similar level of ignorance to someone who believes in it and has never read it.
This is a ridiculous claim. Reading stories about how god and the devil trick a dude into committing incest or how humans used to be 10 ft tall and live a thousand years before a divine flood wiped out all the non-believers isn't at all necessary.
It's entirely possible to have a cogent understanding of western politics without delving into the depths of the mythology. You'd be far better off spending your time reading legitimate political literature or doing irl stuff.
When did I say that it’s impossible to understand western politics without reading the Bible? How is my claim ridiculous?
Your argument makes you sound like a Bible literalist. If you read such a text and conclude that one of the most important bits is “humans used to be 10ft tall” then you might struggle with reading comprehension.
I’d be happy to share journal articles relating to the importance of the Bible and politics if that’s what you’re interested in. However I think a great starting point on the Bible’s influence would be through literature. Chapter 2, 7, 14, 18 of How to Read Literature Like a Professor is a great starting point.
An example of biblical literature being relevant to modern day politics would be the story of Moses. Moses was born to two different worlds 1) the common/poor or overlooked and 2) the wealthy ruling class. Because of this he is able to not only appeal to the masses but also wield the power to control them (this story is repeated is numerous ancient texts as well). The modern Republican Party uses a similar tactic. Someone like Donald Trump appeals to voters by creating a story where he is relatable and “one of them.” However he also has the financial and cultural backing to be a popular candidate.
Wow, biblical stories have allegorical meanings? This is brand new information to me!
No shit there's some basic stories about human nature. Yes, christian fundamentalism has been a shaping force of the west. That still doesn't make the Bible itself worth reading especially when, as previously established, most christians themselves haven't done so.
It's like saying someone should read Dianetics to understand why Scientology is fucked up.
I’m not quite sure why you’re trying to debate if the Bible has allegories. Tbh you’re being weirdly aggressive about a point I never even brought up.
It’s hard to describe how ignorant it sounds to say that the Bible isn’t worth reading. Is the Quran worth reading? Are the Vedas worth reading? Most people haven’t read The Communist Manifesto so we should probably just forget about it since we get the gist of it. I’m a firm believer in evolution but I never read On the Origin of Species so I’m sure it isn’t a very valuable text. I’m all for remembering the slave trade and giving a voice to the generational trauma of African Americans, but I don’t think there’s any reason to read Beloved . How can you not realize how insane you sound? What makes a book valuable enough for you to read it?
And yes, reading Dianetics would give a great understanding of why Scientology is fucked up compared to some bs like “Tom cruise is a weirdo and gave all his money to Scientology so it must be the worst.”
I was raised Muslim, I've read the Quran twice, no it's not worth reading.
You sound so close minded and poorly educated it makes me sad. It’s as if you have the reading comprehension and argumentative skills of a 4th grader.
Instead of trying to reply to my comment in a constructive way you just dug a deeper hole for yourself. You read one (one) sentence and decided that not only was that my argument, but also the only sentence worth mentioning.
And if you think there is no value in reading the Quran for literature, cultural, political, etc reasons then you’re dull.
Like holy shit man go to community college or something and try to learn
I'm assuming you have no religious trauma. I do, have read 100% of bible across 3 months when I discovered the problem of evil on my own (not hard, very basic contradiction) after a very well loved kid in my school (who I didn't personally know) died tragically and painfully and my youth minister's answers didn't cut it. The only think of value I gained is knowing the church is full of shit and I could safely move on with my life ignoring all I'd ever been taught. If I want to learn of a culture, I'd rather read their literature than curated mythologies used to exalt patriarchies.
And it's basically irrelevant to 99% of modern life, unless you go to church, are religious, or otherwise are in a religious clique. I can absolutely assure the OP I have zero need to read the bible.
Yes, the foundational text of a religion that has shaped our systems of governance and society is completely irrelevant to modern life
I've never read it and I'm doing fine
Because it's a terrible fiction story book
There's good along with the bad. A lot has to do with what translation you're looking at, and from what context. It's definitely ideally more like food for thought than explicit infallible instructions, though.
It is particularly galling that basically the me main reoccurring themes, are also the most studiously ignored lesson, which in my opinion are "mind your own business, be as kind as you can, and you are not qualified to judge people." Republicans essentially behave in the complete opposite manor.
A guy called Wangerin “rewrote” the Bible as an historical epic novel. It’s quite a good read in that genre by all accounts - loads of action, loads of characters. (Obviously I’d file the book under fiction but other book seller policies may vary.)
Many self proclaimed Christians have not read the Bible , and are appallingly ignorant of the bulk of it.
And when they do know the stories like the good Samaritan, they don't live it.
Wealthy Christians should not exist.
Hey, one of the underlying premises to that story is prejudice towards Samaritan's, and they understand the prejudice very well
Yeah, no kidding. A good example: Watch this clip from 3:52 to 4:05: https://youtu.be/Vr3ZNvv0aco?t=232
(here's what was said if you don't want to watch it, but watching it is much funnier than reading it:
Magat Lady: I think it is time where God is separatin' the sheeps from the goats.
Donie: Which are you?
Magat Lady: I am a, uh ... I'm a goat! 'Cause I ain't a sheep! I'm not doin' what they tell me to do!
Donie: Hm.
I so so much wanted Donie (the interviewer) to go "Bzzzzzzzzzt!" I'm sorry, the answer was 'sheep'. 'Sheep' is what God was looking for there. I'm afraid you've been disqualified."
"It's too long, too big, and too many of em'."
There's so many translation errors anyway, iirc the oldest known version says essentially "I am the living god".