this post was submitted on 28 Dec 2024
1142 points (98.9% liked)

Facepalm

419 readers
106 users here now

Anything that makes you apply your hand to your face.

founded 5 months ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 136 points 6 days ago (7 children)

"I am hee hee" - Michael Jackson

[–] Magnolia_@lemmy.ca 8 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)
[–] Aarrodri@lemmy.world 9 points 6 days ago
[–] Ste41th@lemmy.ml 7 points 6 days ago

Fuck you and take my upvote

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 69 points 6 days ago (10 children)

In the near-future the Bible will be banned for spreading "Socialist Values" and being "Too Woke"

[–] psud@aussie.zone 1 points 1 day ago

The churches back in the day, before Martin Luther's reforms, before the Bible could be printed in local languages, very much enjoyed their complete monopoly on the Word of God

They could say whatever they wanted

I suspect a successful ban of the Bible would give them that back.

Though it would be impossible to actually ban and all a ban could do is make the book more desirable to read. It might push people towards the online annotated, hyperlinked editions of the book such as the skeptic's annotated Bible

[–] midnight_puker@sh.itjust.works 21 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Eh, I'm fine with it. The death of Christianity will be a net good for humanity, so I'll take whatever gets us closer to that.

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 11 points 6 days ago

All three Abrahamic religions need to die.

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 8 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Have you seen the kinds of cultish grifts New Agers AND New Atheists alike have been on? Nature abhors a vaccuum.

Just saying I don't want the Spirit Science guy calling the shots on major holidays

[–] psud@aussie.zone 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

None of our major holidays are at all related to Abrahamic religions. Easter is still named for the ancient fertility goddess whose festival it was before it was reskinned as Christian. Christmas takes the pan-european mid winter festival and paints a star on it. The pre-christian Romans held the festival of Sol Invictus (the invincible sun) on December 25th. Christmas trees were a pre-christian tradition in and around modern Germany

There would be massive social pressure to not change holidays

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Wasn't the Easter = Ishtar connection debunked? The rest of that is pretty legit though

[–] psud@aussie.zone 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I'm talking the link between Easter and the Celtic goddess named Eastre

Edit to add the link more about the name: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Names_of_Easter

Summary: Latin languages, their local words for Passover; Germanic language, their local name for their fertility deity — Eastre in old English, Easter now

I think a school in Texas already did that to troll all of the "Christian parents caring about traditional values".

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] Walican132@lemmy.today 66 points 6 days ago (28 children)

It’s so sad that no one has read the fucking Bible.

[–] DarkDarkHouse@lemmy.sdf.org 44 points 6 days ago (2 children)

It’s easier to thump a bible when it’s closed.

[–] Walican132@lemmy.today 8 points 6 days ago

I’ve never heard this before and I love it thanks for sharing that.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] 1stQ@feddit.org 46 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Would an appropriate response to these people be RTFM?

[–] zloubida@lemmy.world 29 points 6 days ago (3 children)

As a progressive Christian, that's something I want to say almost everytime I read somethung written by an Evangelical.

[–] Hylactor@sopuli.xyz 16 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (3 children)

I am not religious, but I have devoted a good chunk of time to reading the bible. If I can do it, someone who essentially stands to gain nothing by reading it can do it, so can and should all these greasy-ass politicians who use it as a political prop. The only thing more irksome than inflexibly, overly literal religious people, are phony religious people who don't even know what they're talking about. And then the next level of annoying beyond that is yhe voting public who allows the charade. They should be the ones pressing these politicians. "Two Corinthians" Donald? What the fuck are you talking about?

[–] psud@aussie.zone 1 points 1 day ago

The pundits don't care what the Bible says, they like that their followers instead believe what they say the religion is about

You need the common folk to read and understand it if you want the religious leaders to lose their hold

[–] Voroxpete@sh.itjust.works 19 points 6 days ago (3 children)

No, see, you can do it because you have nothing to lose. If they actually read and understand the Bible, then they have to start living according to it, and that would suck. "For I say to you it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of the needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven?" No thank you sir, that would ruin my prosperity gospel!

[–] IndiBrony@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)

To be fair to the camel, God hadn't heard of the Byford Dolphin incident yet.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Shiggles@sh.itjust.works 13 points 6 days ago (5 children)

The bible’s a neat old book of parables and early concepts of morals. Like most things, the fanbase is probably the worst part.

load more comments (5 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] JimVanDeventer@lemmy.world 24 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Not even the Bible. Have these people seriously not heard the words him and her prior to three years ago? Do they really think they are new words?

[–] Signtist@lemm.ee 36 points 6 days ago

It's not that they haven't heard the words "him" and "her," it's that they haven't heard the word "pronoun." They don't know what it means, and think that it's something the trans community made up.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (25 replies)
[–] dgbbad@lemmy.zip 39 points 6 days ago (1 children)

They must have amnesia. They forgot that I'm HIM.

[–] Yokozuna@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Flipped a whole brick into an empire, stop playing with me.

[–] skulblaka@sh.itjust.works 6 points 5 days ago

I was flippin' bricks for Mansa Musa back before y'all were even a type 1 civilization

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Old_Yharnam@lemmy.world 31 points 6 days ago (1 children)

And even if Jesus didn’t, who gives a flying fuck?

[–] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 14 points 6 days ago (5 children)

I'm steadily approaching gender and pronoun accelerationist abolishinism. Just keep making more and more genders and pronouns until they collapse in on their own weight; all of them were fake to begin with anyway, including masculine and feminine.

At least stop putting them on standard government forms for ID and shit. The government doesn't need to know anything about my genitals or how I talk or dress (let alone any ways in which they are or are not related) for me to drive a car.

[–] HK65@sopuli.xyz 6 points 5 days ago

Yeah, I dream of having this whole debate behind us, and it will look as weird to people as having religion in our ID like they had it in the 30s looks to us now.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] blockheadjt@sh.itjust.works 12 points 5 days ago

Not only did Jesus use pronouns, but tradition dictates that we go so far as to capitalize His pronouns.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 11 points 5 days ago (1 children)

So, do they not understand what pronouns are, or do they not know the Bible?

[–] hansolo@lemm.ee 9 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] psud@aussie.zone 1 points 23 hours ago

I'd say no, not or, and

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 22 points 6 days ago (4 children)

Every time I see a bumper sticker that says "What Would Jesus Do?" or the shorter "WWJD?"...

I'm like "Well he wouldn't have drove a car for one, they didn't even exist."

[–] Rocketpoweredgorilla@lemmy.ca 57 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (3 children)

He had a Honda, but didn't like to talk about it.

“For I did not speak of my own Accord” - John 12:49

My guess is it was probably slightly dinged with a coffee can muffler with a "co-exist" bumper sticker, and missing a hubcap.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 23 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (2 children)

"I am He"
- Jesus
--John 18:5
---Brandon

[–] A_Very_Big_Fan@lemmy.world 9 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

"I am He"

- Jesus

--John 18:5

---Brandon

----rivalarrival@lemmy.today

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] vga@sopuli.xyz 11 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)
[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 15 points 6 days ago

That actually makes a lot of sense. Scientists believe the Big Bang created the vast majority of the universe’s helium.

[–] L0rdMathias@sh.itjust.works 7 points 6 days ago

I love a good double whoosh lmao.

load more comments
view more: next ›