autismdragon

joined 4 years ago
[–] autismdragon@hexbear.net 7 points 4 months ago (10 children)

I love that the rumored Charizard evolution became real with Mega Charizard X. Like its literally almost exactly what I remember being rumored as a kid.

[–] autismdragon@hexbear.net 12 points 4 months ago

Few things as sad to me as an abandoned Twitch VODs page on youtube :( The media was being preserved, and not it is not.

[–] autismdragon@hexbear.net 17 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Yeah I mean, its definitly noteworthy that despite still basically feeling that way about my gender, outright saying "Im a man" to the dog felt like a lie lol.

[–] autismdragon@hexbear.net 27 points 4 months ago (3 children)

This place was alwas a no go zone for me but something happened. I just posted about it in the regular mega but then realized like, wait, this is like. This is gender.

So uh, an odd thing happened. so disability services gave me this little tablet with a cartoon dog on it that helps give me remindrs and stuff. its honestly not that useful. but today it was giving like, a demographic survey.

and it asked me my gender and i frose? like ive never not confidently called myself a man lmao. even when i question my gender, its like "im basically 95% man". and somehow, through the process of freezing, i ended up saying im nonbinary. so that was wild idk.

i still think like "demiman" is like, the most accurate label but wow that was . i didnt expect to freeze like that

[–] autismdragon@hexbear.net 2 points 4 months ago

Oh I completely agree lmao.

[–] autismdragon@hexbear.net 2 points 4 months ago (2 children)

My only thing is, if you think the only result of abolishing IP would be reasonably described as "folk art", then you have never explored AO3 lol. There will be slop. There will be lots of slop. BTS will gain superpowers in the MCU.

[–] autismdragon@hexbear.net 6 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Ngl I would kind of suggest logging off if this becomes the case, exaggeration or no. She doesnt even look smug here lol.

[–] autismdragon@hexbear.net 14 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (4 children)

If you end IP then it makes everything public domain and would lead to MORE adaptions not less.

Which is why I want that to happen lmao sicko-jammin

ETA: Anyway I'm an art maximalist and I want stuff like this and totally new stuff to exist so I dont get angry at the stuff like this I get angry they arent making new stuff. Totally separate struggles to me.

[–] autismdragon@hexbear.net 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Yeah I saw this one too (I watch most of their videos) and the only thing I could really connect with was the Droogs part because the tonedeafness of that seems obvious.

[–] autismdragon@hexbear.net 5 points 4 months ago (4 children)

Yeah I saw. I was half responding to their thoughts with what I said. I totally get and technically agree that its bad for corporate reasons I just dont emotionally connect.

[–] autismdragon@hexbear.net 5 points 4 months ago (8 children)

Right yeah meant to mention the monetization.

I'm ngl though I must have some sort of disconnect in my brain because Iron Giant is a very emotionally important movie to me and I totally get the idea of how its bad to put him in a fightin game, but I dont mind seeing him in a fighting game? Just one of those random autismdragon disconnects where I dont get whats upsetting people (there are a few too many of those and I am broken).

[–] autismdragon@hexbear.net 12 points 4 months ago

If anything I think it might make a better show then game? lol

 
 
 
 
 
 

I'm watching my friend play the game for the first time and I noticed/remembered that Steiner's Pluto Knights are all incompetent men (and to some extent, Steiner himself), and Beatrix herself and all her lady knights are all hypercompetent badasses.

This of course went under the radar without complaint at the time, but this fairly minor element would be like months worth of discourse today.

 

OK. This is one of my most toxic qualities and has caused serious issues, specifically with other ND people, particularly femme ones. This is NOT something I should be ok with and something I need to work on.

But I do want to talk about WHY it happens.

There are two main reasons why when someone presents me with a boundary, I might try to "argue" or "negotiate" the boundary.

  1. The boundary doesnt make logical sense to me, so I feel that if I merely explain why it doesnt make sense to me I can argue them out of it. The fact that its a deep discomfort that doesnt have to make sense does not occure to me in the moment.
  2. A lot of the time its not even because I'm not willing to respect the boundary, its because I want to fully understand their reasoning, so I"m trying to draw that reasoning out more through discussion. Which comes off as "arguing".

Its also worth noting as Ive said before that boundary drawing has to be very clear with me for me to get it usually. White lies and subtle hints and stuff is completely unhelpful to me.

Ive also been in the position of thinking that the misunderstanding behind a boundary was "cleared up" and therefor thinking its ok to resume the behavior, without actually being given the go ahead to do so. And the person now feels uncomfortable drawing lines with me again because I argued last time (which is a manifestation of THEIR ND), and it just spirals.

The problematic effect this has is that it discourages the person from drawing boundaries with me again. This has led to nasty situations for me multiple times.

 

Everything I do. Every fucking second of my life. Is trying to feed the massive fucking black hole of RSD in me. Everything is begging for positive feedback. EVerything is people pleasing, but in ways that actually just put people off.

Noone loves me like I love them. Noone. Not one person. Im always the initiater. I send people memes, they dont send me shit. And oh ACTUALLY the WHOLE TIME I was actually ANNOYING THEM by sending them stuff.

It leads me into such awful, desperate, sometimes even fucking abusive behaviors. Manipulative. BEGGING for feedback. From everyone. All the fucking time. Taking advantage of nice patient people until I wear them out. I ping people too much. Sometimes I ping them again if they ignore the first one. I don't take ignoring a message for a no. I always am like "maybe they missed it or maybe they were too busy at the time and forgot" and sometimes that IS the case so it gets confusing.

People leave me constantly. Not always because of this but I've had like, five noteable peopel leave me in the last couple years. I have no irl friends left. Sometimes because of me neglecting those friendships and distance. But also my ONE really close irl friend left me because of a stupid misunderstanding. And I officially confirmed that Ive lost someone else today, this time over EXACTLY what i'm talking about.

I'm fucking exausted y'all. And I dont know what to do. There's no fucking medication for RSD. Coping mechanisms dont work. I cant fucking deal with this anymore. I'm fucking tired.

 

I'm not personally. If an NT person who's into comics says its a special interest Id be like "k". But im interested in takes here.

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