this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 345 points 11 months ago (8 children)

"Being a lesbian sucks sometimes. You tell another girl she's a hottie, and she says, "thanks" like we're being friendly. I ain't just being friendly, I'm trying to fuck!"

I think I translated it correctly.

[–] ladicius@lemmy.world 129 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Thanks for translating. As a non native English speaker I nearly got a stroke trying to understand these.... words.

[–] Zagorath@aussie.zone 62 points 11 months ago (1 children)

To assist:

  • Lesbo: short for lesbian
  • Pish: an expression of frustration
  • Bangin': hot
  • nd: and
  • ye: you
  • am no: I'm not
  • tae: to
  • yer: your
  • pal: friend
  • shag: have sex with
[–] punkwalrus@lemmy.world 22 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (3 children)

I got all of that except "shag ye x," because it sounds like "shag (fuck) you x," where "x" is the subject that is a bit vague. Like, "I'm trying to shag you, love?" or "Fuck your ex," as in, the last person you broke up with?

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 45 points 11 months ago (1 children)

"x" is a kiss, used as an informal "yours truly" in British English digital correspondence

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Wait, I thought 'x' was hug and 'o' was kiss. Have I been wrong all these years??

[–] sjmarf@sh.itjust.works 15 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

X is kiss, O is hug (at least, in the UK it is)

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[–] Zagorath@aussie.zone 17 points 11 months ago

I could be wrong, but I thought the x at the end was just a cutesy sign-off. Like "xoxo" type of thing.

[–] ZeroTHM@lemmy.world 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Pretty sure it's the x in "xoxo", the old convention for hugs and kisses.

[–] TSG_Asmodeus@lemmy.world 24 points 11 months ago (1 children)

xoxo... the old convention for hugs and kisses.

[–] trafficnab@lemmy.ca 18 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

The release of Shrek is closer to the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan and the invention of the Sony Walkman than it is to today

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[–] x4740N@lemmy.world 33 points 11 months ago (1 children)

As a native English speaker I nearly got a stroke trying to figure out what it said

[–] cmbabul@lemmy.world 14 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (5 children)

I had to imagine Karen Gillan saying it

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[–] ramenshaman@lemmy.world 22 points 11 months ago

As a native English speaker, me too.

[–] ShitOnABrick@lemmy.world 17 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (10 children)

Should watch still game. You'll end up with a brain aneurysm trying understand the Scottish pensioner's

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[–] neptune@dmv.social 23 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Isn't "coming from you" a put down? Or does it more mean "you care about fashion and looks, so obviously you know"?

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 63 points 11 months ago (2 children)

It’s an amplifier. “You’re hot” makes it mean “someone as hot as you thinks I’m hot? Damn”, “you smell terrible” makes it mean “how the fuck do you of all people even notice my small with that rank odor”

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[–] CobblerScholar@lemmy.world 16 points 11 months ago

...And she says, "thanks" knowing I'm a lesbian and appreciate female beauty sexually taking the complement more intensely. I ain't just being....

ITIFTFY?

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[–] Jackcooper@lemmy.world 124 points 11 months ago (19 children)

I swear Scottish people are the only ones who type in their own phonetic accent

[–] BluesF 40 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (5 children)

~~Scots isn't just an accent, it's a language in its own right.~~

~~Although honestly I'm not sure how much of this is Scots and how much is just specific to Scottish twitter lol~~

So actually having done some more reading this isn't Scots - I'm fairly sure this is Scottish English which is somewhat a merging of Scots with English.

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[–] TheDarksteel94@sopuli.xyz 25 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Lots of people do it here in Austria too, and I hate it.

[–] soulsource@discuss.tchncs.de 19 points 11 months ago (2 children)

A geh, is doch iagendwie liab, oda?

Übahaupt, jetzt wo si Hochdeutsch imma mea duachsetzt, und vü junge Leit übahaupt nimma richtig östareichisch^1^ redn leanan, missn ma doch schaun, dass unsa Sproch net oafoch ausstiabt, oda?

Mia hom a a longe Tradition, wonns um Mundoatdichtung geht. Da Dichta von da obaöstareichischn Hymne zum Beispü, da Stelzhamer Franz, hot gonz vü in Mundoat gschribn.

Und weis ma grod eifoit: Es gibt a a eigene Wikipedia in unsam Dialekt: https://bar.wikipedia.org/ Oba do dua i ma söm schwah, dass i des vasteh. De is scho in da äagstn von de oagn Mundoatn gschribm.

(So, jetzt woas i net, wöcha Sproch i im Dropdown do untn auswöhn soid... Wei wirklich Deitsch is des jo net...)

[^1^] I am fully aware that the dialect I'm writing in is not called "Austrian". The two big dialects spoken in Austria are "Alemannic" and "Bavarian", and the one I'm writing is the Bavarian dialect. I'm only using the word "östareichisch" here, because that's what I expect most people to use in spoken conversation.

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[–] johnyrocket@feddit.ch 18 points 11 months ago (1 children)
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[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 22 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Newfies do the same. Was a whole fuckin thing to unlearn when I found the Internet lol

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[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 68 points 11 months ago (9 children)

It's easier if you read it out loud with a Scottish accent. Works for novels as well!

“Nac Mac Feegle! The Wee Free Men! Nae king! Nae quin! Nae laird! Nae master! We willna' be fooled again!”

― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

[–] maryjayjay@lemmy.world 18 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I had to read half of Trainspotting like that!

[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 28 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Fucking. Genius.

Welp. We're friends now. What are you doing tonight?

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[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)

"PICTSIES!"

Cracks me up every time.

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[–] crackajack@reddthat.com 59 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I understood that, surprisingly.

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[–] chalupapocalypse@lemmy.world 58 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I miss scottishpeopletwitter, did that move over here?

[–] lilsolar@sh.itjust.works 28 points 11 months ago

U can make one, then post the reddit posts here until the sub goes off

[–] crackajack@reddthat.com 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The least politically loaded and agenda-pushing peopletwitter. That sub encapsulates the lightheartedness of Scottish people.

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[–] dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world 28 points 11 months ago (2 children)

The names James, Bond James, Bond James is having a stronk call the bondulance

[–] teuast@lemmy.ca 11 points 11 months ago

Bond Name's the james

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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 19 points 11 months ago (1 children)
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[–] clark@midwest.social 17 points 11 months ago

Words can’t describe how much I love this tweet.

[–] 0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works 16 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I wonder if pirate talk origins are from Scotland 🤔.

[–] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 14 points 11 months ago (3 children)
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[–] Smoogs@lemmy.world 12 points 11 months ago

Is there a Duolingo for this particular language?

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