this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2025

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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

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Trans Megathread from January 20th, 2024 to January 26th, 2024 (hexbear.net)

submitted 4 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by SwitchyandWitchy@hexbear.net to c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns@hexbear.net

378 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Hi Everyone! I'm planning on adding stuff here but first enjoy your new weekly mega <3

Join our public Matrix server!

https://matrix.to//#/#tracha-space:transfem.dev

https://rentry.co/tracha#tracha-rooms

As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.

Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.

Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.

(page 6) 50 comments

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[–] imogen_underscore@hexbear.net 16 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

i'm super lucky to have a nice stockpile of HRT that just kinda happened because my pharmacy gives me 1.5x as much e as i need per month and like 4x as much cypro lol. i just say nothing of course. me and one of my gfs share the cypro too and we're still at a net gain per month doggirl-thumbsup

unrelatedly, i think i wanna make a cute neocities... i've always hated webdev but it seems worth delving into it for this, clicking through the community sites makes me so happy. it's a cultural revival i'm really here for!

[–] Edie@hexbear.net 5 points 3 days ago

I hate webdev, and yet I continue to do it.

While I'm not that good at it, if you need help with it I'd be happy to help.

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 17 points 3 days ago (2 children)

me when i enter a "not doing okay at all rn" competition and i'm winning squidward-nervous

[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 13 points 3 days ago

catgirl-flop Can't get a W to save my life

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[–] imogen_underscore@hexbear.net 23 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

decided to delete xiaohongshu. it's a neat app, and i'm glad people are having a nice time with it... i just realised pretty quickly that for me personally, it's gonna fill the same niche as a tiktok or twitter i.e. being a net negative for my mental health. especially BDD and general envy of other people which can fester into self-hatred. as well as having to see bigoted comments with much more frequency than a space like hexbear, of course. it's a problem i've found with all image-heavy, non-anonymous social media, and i think just cutting it out is the self-care move for me.

[–] Yukiko@hexbear.net 10 points 3 days ago

My mind seems to be calming down now. Thankfully. Seems that PMS may have exacerbated my negative feelings a small bit there, but I'm coming down from it thanks to everyone sharing their stories with me in the last thread. That said...

CW: Dysphoria and family talk

I still feel a severely profound sadness when I see a pregnant woman or woman with her child(ren). And I still feel super fake, but not nearly as badly as I did.

Furthermore, my mother just canNOT understand why I've been so depressed. I try to explain it to her and she feeds me lines like "Kids suck. You should feel lucky." I don't care. You simply just can't grasp it. JFC she just keeps trying to add gasoline to the fire.

I also measured my breasts for the first time since surgery about 2 months ago. My bra size is apparently 38K, but I want to try on some bras to ensure that that is actually the case. That just seems overly large to me. Granted I was a small 38F prior to surgery, but still. 38K is like true awooga territory and seems unrealistic.

[–] buh@hexbear.net 24 points 3 days ago (1 children)

HEV suit that administers estrogen when your HP gets too low

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 16 points 3 days ago

[HEV suit voice] "Dysphoria detected. Estradiol Valerate administered"

[–] yewler@hexbear.net 10 points 3 days ago (2 children)

genital stuff, sex stuff

So I have virtually zero sex drive. It's never really bothered me, but part of me has always wondered if it was a low testosterone thing, and that wonder has increased drastically since I apparently had a history of that when I was way younger and my mom didn't tell me 'til very recently.

So all of that to say, I'm kind of wondering if I will gain a sex drive as my hormone levels approach what they should be. I'm also told that if I don't use my penis while on HRT it'll hurt a lot if I try to again. That's something I want to avoid, but I have quite literally never masturbated or anything out of a lack of interest. So I'm at this weird spot of maybe being horny and wanting to do sex stuff later but not really having any good way to keep my member from the edge of death.

I'm not sure how much sense I'm making. I don't really have a specific question outside of "is this a legit worry", but I'm looking for thoughts from the infinitely wise trans council

[–] bolshevikLovelace@hexbear.net 7 points 3 days ago

sexxx

do you own a vibrator? if not and you're feeling up to it i would recommend it. my fav is the magic wand

i think the rule for penile atrophy is to ensure you have an erection 3 times a week. i know this is important for some forms of bottom surgery and penetrative sex. personally, cypro tanked my sex drive so i gave up on maintaining that frequency but when i do do anything it's exclusively using a vibrator. since there's less friction and more control, i've had no issues with pain and it feels a lot more affirming (i was quite sexually active prior to hrt though)

good luck with the self-discovery! hammer-and-vibe

[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

spoiler

As someone else with a low sex-drive and doesn’t masturbate a lot I will say for the longest while whenever I would try it would start hurting and be uncomfortable if it got too hard and I would have to wait a bit before continuing.

Recently it’s been better, but I guess that is a thing that can happen, I didn’t know it was hrt related.

[–] yewler@hexbear.net 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

spoiler

Oh so it's something you can ease back into by taking breaks and stuff? That's comforting. I didn't want it to be like a permanent thing.

I'm not sure if its HRT related I'd just heard that around and wasn't sure if it was a thing, which is part of why I brought it up here haha

[–] JohnBrownsBussy2@hexbear.net 4 points 3 days ago

spoiler

Well, pain/discomfort is a sign of atrophy, so if you want to maintain material for a future bottom surgery, you wouldn't want to eliminate erections entirely. I know that some people take low doses of erectile dysfunction medication (i.e. viagra) right before bed to simulate the effects of random nightly erections that the body normally uses to maintain function.

[–] Tommasi@hexbear.net 20 points 3 days ago

Something nice happened today. I was out with a few friends and this random ass dude just comes up to us and starts taking part in our conversation like it's the most natural thing in the world. That's okay I guess but he starts to say some borderline bigoted stuff that definitely does not pass the vibe check. catgirl-disgust

I was about to head home anyway so I decide to just leave because I don't want to listen to it. I didn't really expect anyone to care or notice and just planned to head home, but after like 20 seconds my friends just left that guy and hurried to catch up to me. In hindsight it was kinda obvious they would do that rather than hang out with some creepy stranger, but in the moment it genuinely meant a lot to me, like seeing that these people actually notice me and care about me was such a comforting experience. catgirl-heart

[–] Luna@hexbear.net 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Injection done! Let's see, that would be... number 32! I actually had to go back and look, I stopped keeping track a while ago catgirl-sorry

[–] MoonElf@hexbear.net 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

keeping track is a fun idea!

[–] Luna@hexbear.net 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Yea I'm back to keeping track. It's nice to see how far I've come! I had most of the tracking in a journal, which I filled. It took me a while to get another, and I stopped tracking and doing entries. I'm trying to get back kn track though (pun definetly intended)!

[–] MoonElf@hexbear.net 2 points 2 days ago

i have a locked toolbox i keep my meds and supplies in, and a lot of stickers, going to do a sticker every time!!

[–] Babs@hexbear.net 15 points 3 days ago

Friend just got boob sweat for the first time and we invite you to celebrate with us.

[–] AcidSmiley@hexbear.net 19 points 3 days ago (2 children)

recent learnings from the gay bar (NSFW):

every switch is flippable
when the poly couch is occupied (by cis dudes - literally transphobic!) and you drop all the transbians off on the floor, things get a lot wilder
i'm crushing hard on the two cuties i ended up in a cuddle pile with, can't get out of my head how sweet and kind they are and how good it felt when they were snuggling up to me and each other like the two loveliest kittens. Damn.

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[–] buh@hexbear.net 10 points 3 days ago (4 children)

does "DIY HRT" mean synthesizing it yourself, or can you also buy premade stuff outside of prescriptions? I want to try to stick with prescriptions as long as I can, but I kind of want to keep some extra around just in case things get desperate here in amerikkka. if it's the former... well let's just say I'd strongly prefer the latter, if anyone can recommend reputable vendors.

[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Maybe we should have DIY resources in the mega text

[–] Luna@hexbear.net 12 points 3 days ago

We actually have DIY resources pinned in this comm https://hexbear.net/post/3016455 (under the "Links" section)

[–] imogen_underscore@hexbear.net 9 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

it usually refers to the latter, buying grey-market HRT online that usually comes from pharmaceutical manufacturers but there are reputable "homebrew" suppliers too, usually of injectable esters. it's been a while for me and i'm not american so i don't have much specific advice. i think this is still considered a good resource: https://hrtcafe.net/ if you scroll to "pharmaceutical vendors" you can see some reputable options, where they ship to, and what payment options they take. it's a great way of building a stockpile of HRT which is a very valuable thing to do, i wish you luck with it! worth noting that by far the most cost-effective option is definitely going to be buying the "homebrew" injectable esters. stockpiling factory-made pills or patches or gel is very possible too but will come at a relatively more premium price.

[–] AcidSmiley@hexbear.net 5 points 3 days ago

Most DIY users i know have a prescription for HRT, but still buy from DIY vendors because there's no pre-made estradiol injections available in Germany any longer. If you don't want gel or pills, you have to get injections custom-made at a pharmacy and insurers hate that due to the price tag, so they may put pressure on doctors who prescribe injections. We've actually thought about making a kind of buyers' club for injections so a pharmacy can produce them in bulk and cut down prices, but that'll take a bit more organizing and endocrinologists and a pharmacy that play along.

DIY is just all-around an indispensable means of community self defense, be it because HRT gets denied to us entirely or because of the systemic failure i see in my health care system.

Mutual aid is also a big part of it, a lot of people struggle with procuring it, learning how to administer the shots on their own and that's where help from other trans people comes in. I know a lot of girls who've at first needed the help of a friend when shooting up, or at least somebody who's there and provides emotional support. It's so important in these times that we watch out for each other.

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[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 11 points 3 days ago (9 children)

How do people drink the “proper” amount of water?

[–] imogen_underscore@hexbear.net 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

it's really hard. having a nice water bottle can help, one that keeps it cold. that's what has helped the most for me before. lately i've been managing to drink a pint when i get up but still end up neglecting it throughout the day. i drink a bunch of soda too though which doesn't help either

[–] SwitchyandWitchy@hexbear.net 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Without a water bottle I never get enough water, but with one I'm *runs to the bathroom constantly* girl.

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[–] buh@hexbear.net 12 points 3 days ago

Me sowing (buying white sneakers): Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!!

Me reaping (they get dirty in an hour): Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.

[–] Wendy_Pleakley@hexbear.net 11 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I visited the beach my Grandpa used to visit. He was quieter than me. On the way, as I drove through the woods, I saw a cardinal.

I feel more kinship with the dead than the living right now. It's hard.

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[–] 0x2640@hexbear.net 19 points 4 days ago (8 children)

up with trans

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[–] Edie@hexbear.net 13 points 3 days ago

catgirl-cry < me after finally shaving my face again (happy)

[–] amy_jmayday@hexbear.net 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

mild vent, slight drug mention

cis friend of mine messaged me for the first time in a little bit. saw the noto and was kind of hoping he was gonna be checking in, seeing how i was doing given the Everything of Everything going on. he was just complaining about how cold it is outside. yeah, sure, thanks for checking in buddy, guess i'll just go back to getting high alone doggirl-cry

idk. maybe i'm being uncharitable.

[–] imogen_underscore@hexbear.net 15 points 3 days ago (1 children)

it's valid to be annoyed the message wasn't more personal but it sounds like he did reach out because he wanted to talk to you, not just for the sake of complaining about the cold.

[–] amy_jmayday@hexbear.net 3 points 2 days ago

he messaged me again this morning and he was more direct. so yeah, i was being uncharitable.

self-critique

i've still got a ways to go on the "trusting other people i know actually care about me" thing, i still jump to the worst conclusions a lot.

[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 16 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Becoming increasingly nervous about my sister’s wedding. doggirl-gloom

I thought I’d be happier with where I would be in my transition by the time it arrived, but it’s a month away and I’m just as mentally ill as ever.
Idk what I am going to wear, or how I will possibly show up in girl clothes without feeling like a total joke.

My sister just informed me we are doing some stupid shit with my mom and all our siblings where it’s just us in the middle of the dance floor for like a minute, which just adds to the pressure.
I’m coming to your wedding to be supportive not to perform!
It should be illegal to just include this kind of shit in your wedding without other people’s consent I didn’t sign up for this! doggirl-growl

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[–] MoonElf@hexbear.net 15 points 3 days ago

how wonderful another chance to tell you all how much I love you and how grateful I am for your support and inspiration. Hexbears made my life so much better ❤️

[–] kristina@hexbear.net 5 points 3 days ago

Join us on tracha nerds https://matrix.to/#/#tracha-space:transfem.dev

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