Are you planning to visit your crazy uncle Duncan?
this post was submitted on 12 Dec 2024
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Talk over and faster than it. Make up scientific studies to sound credible.
You just gotta go pspspspsps
Shouldn't it be the reverse? Ƨqƨqƨqƨqƨqƨqƨq?
Finger in your ear and then hold it out for him to smell.
lol I read somewhere that this is how you get an unfamiliar cat to befriend you. They want to smell up close. Try it out!
Here you go! https://lifehacker.com/befriend-a-cat-with-your-earwax-1529804717
Lick it on the head to confuse it.
Only reported to work with lion dens, but might be extended to arenas as well.
Pray to the god of Daniel and be without sin before the face of god and the king. (DANIEL 6, 13)
If you're fighting a singular male lion on it's own... They're not brave without their pack and they're way more 'bark' than bite. It's just like a black bear, be as big and loud as you can. Do not ever run, this triggers an instinctual urge to chase. Alone in the face of a fight it's not sure it can win, the Lion will want to run though. That will just buy you time, closing the gap and actually winning the fight will depend on circumstances, but you can get the upper hand in a lot of ways.
Whatever happens, be thankful you're not fighting a Tiger.
I'll just wrestle it to the ground and bite its neck (I'm a vampire)
rookie vampire mistake. Just summon in a swarm of wolves and mist-form away whenever the lion gets close. Maybe shoot some of the spectators some beguiling eyes and throw them at the lions too. Once its too full to keep moving, then deliver the coup de grace.
Be an elephant.
Instructions unclear, now I'm a snake
YTA! Lion's house, lion's rules. Hit a lawyer, get Facebook, drop the gym. This narcissist is a textbook lion; I also choose this man's stupid prize.
you didn't mention the "Karen"
Bring all the Pokemon.
Poison a gazelle
Get on top of one of those four pillars and then pray that your quiver has enough arrows. Good luck Grand Champion.
Alternatively, also send in your adoring fan as a diversion.
Bribe the lion keeper. Your battle with a dead lion will be legendary.
I heard once that if you rub the top of a cat's head with a toothbrush, it'll calm down.
Well known fact.
Alternatively, it will sit on any passing roomba, according to YouTube.
Has anyone tried placing a gherkin next to it mid battle?
The problem is, you are the passing roomba in this case
Can you choose your weapons?
In that case, choose either a boar spear, or an Atchisson AA-12, depending on your era.
What are the rules? Are you allowed weapons of any sort?
Is it like gladiator style combat or are you allowed ranged weaponry?
This is pretty vague, and I'm fairly sure the community rules say that when posting questions about lions you need to be very specific otherwise you're what is known as a "dingus."
They have sensitive noses but they can't be stopped mid charge and likely won't be deterred by peeing in their face. Maintaining eye contact will make them slightly more hesitant but also angry.
They swipe harder and faster than Mike Tyson in his prime, but if it's a show lion it might be suffering from lifelong narcotics addiction so at least you've got that going for you. The bite force is enough to sever your limbs so never let it grab you.
TLDR Stay away but don't run, try to hit it's nose but never get near its face.
With a gun, the larger the calibre the better.
Get a really big laser pointer to distract it
Catnip and hakuna matata
Its very important you change your name to Daniel.
Sampson would work as well.
Be Batman, have prep time.
Punch that motherfucker in the nose so hard his skull flies out the back of his ass! The crowd will go wild.
Bring a shotgun
Have lots of steaks with poison in it.
That or an assault rifle.
Gun
Get two Rodesian Ridgebacks.