This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
OK, I put a lot of thought into this, and here's what I've concluded.
When the girls came up to anon and suggested the bet, he should have said: "Sorry, ladies, I can't take that bet. See, whenever I do something, I give it 100%. So when I'm on the court, I'm being true and faithful to the sport of basketball. And the one thing I can't do..." (he locks eyes with the girl he likes) "...the ONE thing I can't do is be unfaithful." (he gives his best boyish grin, then goes and makes the dunk.)
That's way too wordy.
Go make the dunk. Give her a moment of disappointment, then come back and say. "I don't miss dunks, or dates. How about [local restaurant] at 6?"
Then you 1. Don't miss a dunk in front of the boys and show your principles. 2. Get the date. 3. Let her save face - you're not going on a date with her because you lost a bet, but rather because you like her.
You forgot the "tips fedora" part.
It's equally as likely as the original greentext story
This is the kind of clueless shit I would’ve done back in college. I can’t dunk, but I was just as good as anon at being completely oblivious.
It would have been the first dunk Ive made all day and I would be chuffed as fuck I made it. Only 10 years later j would have realised I fucked up
He should have refused to elaborate.
Dunk
Maintain eye contact
High-five the boys
Walk away
Why would those girls set him up to fail? Flip the bet; date if you score.
Because she actually wants to go on the date and it's easier to miss on purpose than guarantee for sure getting it? Idk, it's awkward af but kids are awkward and there's all kinds of dumb gender stuff tied up in girls asking boys out directly so it's forgivable imo. Also, giving him an opportunity to be jokey and fun, "oh noooo, how could I have missed wink", show that he doesn't take himself too seriously and can play around. Which he failed lmao. (Yes yes I know it's fake)
I agree with you. Still in this hypothetical situation a part of me would have troubles holding back asking the girl whats wrong with her friend when she uses her as a kind of punishment.
Real and straight.
Anon didn't have sex.
Straight? Anon didn't miss because he didn't want to have sex with a woman.
Fake: Anon is attracted to girls and any girl is attracted to Annon
Gay: Anon is very gay
Circular reasoning fallacy
I will appeal to the authority of deez nuts
circular nut sucking is gay thus anon is gay
fake: anon is athletic. gay: doesn't go out on a date with a girl
Well, obviously gay. He preferred impressing the boys over the girls.
Anon is strong and independent, he doesn't need to appear clumsy to attract sympathy.
:::spoiler spoiler Your partner should be happy to see you succeed. Subjecting yourself to failure in order to please someone, particularly a trifling-ass rando, is denial and devaluation of the self. Tell her to miss a dunk and see how she handles it. Worst case scenario, she dunks so hard that you end up pregnant. Is it worth the gamble? Not for me to answer, that’s between you and god.
Anon avoids double embarrassment of missing a dunk and having the girls go "SIKE"
oh anon
This one made me wince