this post was submitted on 11 Nov 2024
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

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Welcome to /c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns, an anti-capitalist meme community for transgender and gender diverse people.

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Xenia, the fox girl mascot of Linux, was first designed in 1996 by Alan Mackey. She was meant to be an alternative to Tux, the official mascot.

She had fallen into obscurity, but was noticed by a Twitter user in 2019 and was redrawn as a fox girl. But as it turned out, Xenia was originally meant to be male! The original creator, Alan, was cool with this, saying "It matches the transition of a lot of the smartest, nerdiest Linux users I know" and "And sure, you made her trans!".

So now we have a trans Linux mascot. And I think that's neat.


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[–] AshenWolf@hexbear.net 16 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Hi everyone! I (Luna) made this account just in time for a bit of an announcement in terms of my gender thoughts:I've decided to go with the flow as of late, and the flow took me in a very interesting direction. I've given it some thought, and I realized something: What is gender to me? What do I want out of it exactly, and what do I consider gender to be? Sure, I wanted to present more feminine, and I felt the best way to do that was to be a woman. Is that the case, though? It was a pretty lousy assumption, to be honest. I knew I wanted to start feminizing HRT, but does that inherently make anyone a woman? No, they're a woman if they want to be, simple as. Do I want to be a woman? Maybe, but at the same time, what do I really want out of it specifically? Do I worry about playing the role perfectly at every turn, am I bothering to play a role? Isn't that what I'm trying to avoid? Shouldn't I just be trying to be myself? Why do certain things, like coming up with a name, seem so difficult for me, why do I struggle to identify with anything, why do I feel like she/her pronouns work some times and not others, why do I feel like other pronouns work some times and not others (still hate he/him though)? Why does gender seem to encroach on my sense of self at times? Am I trying to conform to a binary I wasn't meant to conform to? Why does this give me such doubt, why do I feel doubt about this stuff? It's not even about my transness, I know I am, I've known that I am, and I don't even see myself as cis at the worst of times anymore, but where does that leave me?

Recently, I've been exploring new pronouns. I asked you all to vote on pronouns for election day, and I honestly vibed with all of them. Okay, maybe not pup/pup's, but would it really piss me off if someone used that? No. I realized all of the pronouns out there (minus he/him) sound great, and feel like they could fit, and I don't mind being called by those pronouns. At the same time though, there are times where it feels like nothing fits. This sums up my thoughts, it feels like no matter what gender I try to realize for myself, no matter what I try to identify as, something goes wrong. I feel trapped, I feel like there's always a limit, even if there isn't necessarily.

A bit ago, I said that the label of demigirl fits me best, and it was the label I first identified with after my egg cracked. What I forgot, both in memory and mention, was that my egg didn't originally crack that day a few months ago. It cracked much earlier, and I had already internalized that identity. I may have presented cis (and not really been a fan), but the identity itself felt like it fit me. I'm fucking weird, I don't fit into anywhere, anything, and that probably applies to gender. I may feel dysphoria at times, may feel the need to cling onto gender in a desperation to have a sense of self, but I am not my gender. I am a human being, with the same level of identity as any other, regardless of what my gender identity may be.

So, it's time for the gender reveal gender-reveal. You may have been getting an idea based on what I have been saying, but I think that being agender is simply where I want to be hexbear-agender. By forsaking gender entirely, I eliminate the endless struggle. I can present however I want to, do whatever I want to (although I could as any gender, this is how it feels for me) without feeling like my sense of self is constantly shifting. I am who I am, beyond gender. What I want for my physical appearance, or how I want to act in the moment, doesn't change that.

I feel like it's going to be tough to let go. I could just be in the middle of a very long 10% agender arc. I could wake up tommorow and decide I want to be a woman again, gender is a fuck and I'm not going to pretend I understand it. For now, though, I'm going to identify as I want to, as I feel most comfortable. I know I do this at least every other week, to the point where it could be a site meme, but I really do feel that every time I start to grasp something, it's like a breakthrough. If this one sticks, cool! I've found it out. If it doesn't, cool! I've still found something out. So, that's me. I'll leave a bit of extra content/context below, but I'm excited to see where my journey brings me, and I always have been, even if it's really confusing ralsei-pout

I'm making this account in an attempt to shift my account from a gendered name to a username. It should also hold up if things are to change (I have no confidence that it won't). Anyway, I felt like I needed the fresh start. A lot has changed in the past few months. Also, I've noticed that how I act greatly reflects how I present, and that includes online. So, changing my account might change that as well.

If I backtrack on this in a week, I'm blaming the carousel hexbear-genderfluid explosion

[–] Thallo@hexbear.net 8 points 6 days ago (1 children)

O.M.G. She's just like me FOR REAL 😭

[–] AshenWolf@hexbear.net 7 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

denji-just-like-me

Had a bit of a moment there where I was like "wait, I don't have she/her pronouns on my profile anymore", and then it took a split second to realize it's covered by "any" and I don't have to worry about the specifics anymore screm-cool

Also don't have to worry about doing the whole neopronoun rotation thing or filling my bio with specific neopronouns because, lets be honest, most if not all of them were going to be added to that list eventually.

[–] Thallo@hexbear.net 4 points 6 days ago (4 children)

I could've written that first paragraph!

I think the carousel has slowed down for me, though aubrey-smug

Think I might be ready to get off soon

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[–] Luna@hexbear.net 7 points 6 days ago

Verifying that this is indeed me. I might not retire this account forever, but who knows what'll happen next?

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 15 points 6 days ago (1 children)

tiddies hurting good today agony-wholesome

[–] AshenWolf@hexbear.net 10 points 6 days ago

No Pain, No Gain meow-knife-trans

[–] Eco@hexbear.net 12 points 6 days ago

i need to get a job with normal hours

i feel so antisocial

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 11 points 6 days ago (1 children)

You, you have won the internet. Can I just say this? My heckin' doggo and I both are applauding and tipping our collective fedora

[–] gaystyleJoker@hexbear.net 5 points 6 days ago

this is epic. this is epic for the win

[–] LocalOaf@hexbear.net 13 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Just a dogshit intrusive thought

I'm gay and my dick is small postingI'm effete and my meat is petite

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 11 points 6 days ago (1 children)

spoilerWear a cute bow, look is complete

[–] LocalOaf@hexbear.net 8 points 6 days ago

sexualoh fuck I just had a really lewd idea that I'm electing to keep to myself for the time being that's kinda a "yes, and" of that

weird but if I were hotter and had a partner, I think I'd be a really good nbgf? Like a really detailed idea for a (partner comes home, opens bedroom door, "supriseeee") kinda idea sicko-fem

[–] Josephine_Spiro@hexbear.net 11 points 6 days ago (2 children)

I don't know why I'm spending so much mental energy on me being catgirl vs doggirl. And why is it stressing me out ohnoes

[–] buh@hexbear.net 9 points 6 days ago

it's mousegirl time failure

[–] morte@hexbear.net 9 points 6 days ago

Solution: catdoggirl

cat is being ableist by not coming closer when asking for cuddles

[–] nemmybun@hexbear.net 11 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I set up Fedora on the extra PC and turned that into a media center for my partner and then shortly after I was like fuck it and switched to Fedora on my main PC too. I am now Windows free screm-cool

It's been (mostly) smooth. Luckily I had already switched to a lot of open source apps last time I tried Linux so there's not much of an adjustment phase this time

[–] AshenWolf@hexbear.net 5 points 6 days ago

Common Fedora W (insert Xenia emoji here)

[–] naom3@hexbear.net 9 points 6 days ago

screm-aaaaa I almost forgot to do my injection today blob-on-fire

[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 10 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (2 children)

self harmSelf harm heals up, pain returns, si thoughts return. Literally just kill me catgirl-flop Trying to be safe, trying to do okay. Sorry I keep complaining about all the same stuff. Just feel shitty and miserable I guess. Trying to resist the urge. The spiral just keeps going, I feel like I have no control over how I feel.

Why am I this way and when will it end. This constant loop is awful and I can't keep going with it.

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 9 points 6 days ago (1 children)

spoilerAt this point I think your biggest trigger is being stuck at your parents place and not able to come out as trans or at least dress en femme at home. Hopefully that changes

spoilerIt feels like the problem is who I am. Can't stop thinking about suicide. Whatever, I don't have a method so no reason to post this shit. Just going to keep writing in my diary.

But yea, that would be nice. Keep working towards it ig.

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[–] LeylaLove@hexbear.net 9 points 6 days ago

CW: Eating disorder, dysphoria, alcoholism

Things were really going well until I had to eat today. No drinking, no serious cravings, worked all day so I was distracted, it was great. I've been on a really good streak recently, I haven't even started Naltrexone yet and I'm feeling good on that. I didn't eat yesterday and I didn't really want to eat tonight but I made myself eat so of course I ate way too much and feel guilty about it. It makes me feel dysphoric too because like oh am I not worth transitioning for? I feel like I've gotten worse looking everyday in my transition, and much of it is my fault. Cig stains on my teeth, shitty skin from a few years of drinking and generally being malnourished yet bloated because of my vices

When I'm not sober, I am passively bullemic, no thought goes into it, but I'm vomiting all the time and eating too much, or not eating at all depending on the day. I was just like that. Now I still have to fight those habits except there's intent behind them now. Now instead of not eating because I forgot, I don't eat because I don't want to. Now instead of just naturally binging, I do it in response to stress. Maybe I was always like this and just forgot who I really was before I ever started drinking.

[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 8 points 6 days ago

Imagine a girl with a really long and big tongue

And don't make it lewd or horny 😑

[–] rtstragedy@hexbear.net 9 points 6 days ago (1 children)

my boyfriend is listening to Chapell Roan again and he just looked at me and gave a goofy grin and said "this one is pretty gay"

[–] Thallo@hexbear.net 7 points 6 days ago

My wife and I listen to her now, and it's been really nice!

She looked up the lyrics to Pink Pony Club, and she was like "oh, that's what the song is about. Very queer"

[–] AshenWolf@hexbear.net 8 points 6 days ago

It's another midnighter ralsei-splat

It was for good reasons though, so I'll give it a pass catgirl-happy

Unfortunately for me, my body won't ralsei-startled

[–] AshenWolf@hexbear.net 8 points 6 days ago

DAMN IT I WANTED TO WORK ON WRITING MY BOOK BUT I ENDED UP WRITING AN ESSAY ON MY GENDER THOUGHTS doggirl-tears

[–] Josephine_Spiro@hexbear.net 8 points 6 days ago (2 children)
[–] iridaniotter@hexbear.net 4 points 6 days ago (2 children)
[–] Eco@hexbear.net 4 points 6 days ago

πŸ‘€what is this series?

YEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH

[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 8 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Gonna be hosting the Puppy Girl Poker Tournament, I still no clue how poker works and just gonna be handing everyone a participation trophy at the end. If I do well enough I might get the gig hosting cat girl mahjong another game I've no clue how it works after 7 yakuza games kiryu-pain

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)

on hexbear? i'm terrible at poker and terrible at riichi, i'd love to join in

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with all the privacy that i've had with my partner away i...

...cried endlessly for two days while watching Wandering Son.

why tf did i tell my doctor the effect i wanted most out of hrt was more feelings?? this shit's too much (jk crying is euphoric)

[–] morte@hexbear.net 4 points 6 days ago

Id really like to start taking voice training seriously but i find it so hard to do it consistently like so much in my life (thanks adhd). Ive been thinking a lot about what sort of voice i want too but im not sure how to achieve it really. Getting gendered correctly when i tried to use a higher, friendlier and more traditionally feminine voice but its not what i really want really? I think i want something like a cross between the two voice actors for V from cyberpunk. Mostly staying at my current register or even a little deeper maybe with some of the growl from the male VA but with like a distinctly feminine sound but still reaaaally fuckin cool like the female VA. Is such a thing even possible?? Am i poser for wanting to sound like a videogame character?? How would i even achieve this

unrelated realizations i had ab some of my seggsual preferences nsfw read at your peril


Because of a meme video i somehow stumbled into the world of asmr rp I knew i leaned towards the submissive somewhat but uhhhhh holy shit? Turns out under the right circumstances i can literally have a super intense full body orgasm without doing literally anything if someone with the right voice says the right words And i dont feel icky at all like when i masturbate, its a completely different feeling that has absolutely nothing to do with genital stimulation. Its more like my soul is rejoicing and my body is expressing it??? I dont know what to do with this information yet but it does make me a little sad There are so many things that i wish i had known about myself earlier and this is definitely one of them. Im such a broken person at this point and i cant change the past but i... cant help but feel some sorrow for my younger self

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