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her,,, expolde
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hi, does anyone wanna make the mega in the upcoming weeks? if so, reply to this post and i'll add you to the list!
the list as it stands:
β * after name denotes someone who has posted before and will be skipped by first-time posters
I want to thank all of you. Without Hexbear, and with the community here, I don't think I would be posting this. I don't feel like getting into the details, but my egg cracked this weekend. I'm not sure yet who exactly I want to be yet, all I know is that I am scared but I am so happy.
Welcome 
Hi trans mega! Was posting under a different name here related to my deadname and had to let that go. Was trying to hang onto the past.
Finally settled on a first and last name a few days ago. And it's alleviated so much doubt and dysphoria.
Feeling comfortable in my skin and loving being trans. Love wearing beautiful outfits. Love the presence of being tall and confident and trans. Finding more safe spaces and letting more bullshit go.
Love my trans comrades! Thanks for the help with the awkwardness of my freshly cracked egg the last few months.
The girl I had plans with who dropped off the face of the earth had gotten her phone stolen and had no other means of communication. She apologized and said she'll make it up to me by buying dinner and having a full girls night 
Glad I didn't listen too much to the irrational part of my brain thay said she suddenly hated me for no good reason.
Update: I can't believe I actually did it. My anxious ass actually went and did it. I came out to my boss and she was suuuuper accepting and wonderful
Wait, you're all actually gay, trans communists? This isn't a bit? 
I fell for this bit and alienated everyone I know by calling them "dogs of the cisgender USamerican empire" and shit
Trans is so communist coded to me I can't fathom that there are lib trans people. The only time I have really been involved in a trans community is here, so all my trans peeps have been commies.
Got a date for my top surgery. It's in just a little over 2 months. Christmas is going to be interesting with the family.
My surgeon also somehow managed to get my mons plasty covered by insurance. That is a surgery that is almost universally considered cosmetic. That man is a magician, I swear.
My dad really said to me "women are strange creatures". He fr thought that would fly. My entire family thinks I am still the fifteen year old boy from like a decade ago, even though it's increasingly evident from observing me that I am Unsafe Dyke, Keep Clear.
I was justified in not looking forward to election season. My trans lit class is full of white queer libs lol.
We got another trans kid in! (Not for a happy reason, but it's always nice to see them)
My one coworker was surprised when I talked about my coming out??? I'm not stealth, I've made no effort to hide it, Im quite open, I wear a pride pin to work... Anyway, that felt nice to know I passed lol
The rehab I went to was a shit show. Incompetent on every level. They dead named and misgendered me constantly AND put me in a room with two cis men. Guess who has a home run criminal discrimination case? This girl! But being real, it was both crushing and infuriating to constantly be discriminated against. I kind of blew the fuck up on the staff before I left, and that felt good.
huh
4 months of HRT and I just... don't see a man in the mirror anymore. I don't see a woman either, but my face has changed enough to where I can't say with any conviction that it looks male anymore, just very androgynous
My therapist told me to post more as a step toward getting over my social anxiety, so I guess its time to break out all the posts I have in my notes app
Love how the trans megathread isnβt always just posting about transgender things, itβs also where the transes go to post! Love this corner of the interwebs. 
I think I want to start social transition. I think I've gotten to the point where there's no reason I shouldn't give it a go. I'm never going to be 100% sure unless I take the plunge, so I think the 90% sure is going to be enough for me. The fear I used to have of being wrong has now been replaced with a fear of wasting my life trying to be someone I'm not. If I'm right I don't want to let what other people think prevent me from living my best life.
I was able to ascertain that my department is very accepting of trans people so I might be coming out at work soon.
βThe old gender is dying, and the new gender struggles to be born: now is the time of boymoddingβ
Ok so the other thing I feel really fucking weird about is my muscles. Probably have talked about this here but I've spent like 15 years maintaining them and building them, and like I get a lot of positive attention for them, and like I am a bit vain about them! But at the same time, I'm like wow this looks kinda manly haha. It's so fucking confusing honestly. But like there's lots of girls with nice muscles it's like a whole thing.
I do have the choice to make my muscles essentially disappear (Botox) and I definitely don't want that. JFC maybe I just need to like change my gender and be NB haha I feel so in the middle
Going to bed before midnight, please clap
Goodnight nice gay people that live in my glowing rectangle
π€
Felix wanted to show you all his lil' nose
self-harm
The anger and frustration got the better of me today, and now I have to go to the ER. I didn't actually mean to cut that deep.
I don't need this in my life, I already have enough to deal with. I really should stop cutting myself. I didn't want to stop before, but now it's gone too far.
Got so many compliments on my outfit today. I was at the school club fair, and it felt like every other person was stopping me to tell me how cool it was.
Project "awe people with cool looks" is going well 
I've unironically used Hexbear taglines to voice train, and it was so fucking funny. I just kept laughing 
This one was the most fun
I'm just now realizing that my whole life I've been calling things "cute" and "pretty" and hoping in the back of my mind that someone calls me feminine for it. Just cis things I guess.
Recently talked with my psychologist about the possibility of me being trans. I'm still not sure what exactly I am, but this is something that have been on my mind for the last 4 years at least.
I was very anxious and couldn't really verbalize it so I wrote it down for her, but I'm glad I had the courage to do it. βΊοΈ
I hate facial hair 
I need to do the feminine things that make me happy instead of rotting
being a trans woman is fun because i can spend hours meticulously picking apart every negative detail about my outfit and how bad i think it looks on me and how i shouldn't be allowed to dress myself when in reality i look fine and then i go to the grocery store and there's just some guy in a utilikilt and a tshirt that says "if u dont like america i should murder you" who doesn't think twice about that shit
Boymoding is going great: I walked out of the bathroom as a group of guys was walking in and they backed up and double checked the sign π
My little brother was in my other little brothers wedding party, he was the first person in my family I came out to all that time ago. He made a joke about how we're adding a, now, 6th sister to my family - I did my part, bro, I'll get one of you and we'll have a full set of 7 at some point.
If Mario 64 was a real game instead of a time waste, you'd be allowed to do every task to get every star in a level in one run, instead of relentlessly padding the runtime by forcing you to warp out after every single star. Red and blue coin stars are legit just padding.
misgendering (good news though β¨οΈ)
Finally stood up for myself and asked my therapist to stop calling me sir (he already knew I'm trans and want hrt/some surgery, he's just a fuck I guess). Felt good to say something, even if it was difficult. He made an effort not to as well so 
Good thing for me to do, I always have struggled to speak up about my needs.
Met an NB transfem at work 2 weeks ago and like idk she's the best and I love her. So happy we met :) we hung out both weekends since we met and happen to live like a mile from each other π₯΄π
having a rough time with ptsd stuff today π this time of year is rough
feels fucked up how my parents guests are more grateful and appreciative about me cooking dinner than my parents have ever been
ftr I cook dinner at the house 3-4 times a week
Here's some nature shots from my Grass Touching Sojourn. Mixed in some river, some lake and some sea.
look i like water ok 
there's a bug chilling on my monitor 
found a bug at work today and took it outside instead of killing it, my coworker looked at me a bit funny but that's okay 
The American Mormons that approached me a while back have returned to the grocery store parking lot. Last time I saw them they approached me and said God made only two genders and that he loves me. Today theyβre trying to organize a bible study with very little interest.
Hi I don't normally participate in this comm but I noticed the thread pic is Vivian and I will always upvote Best Girl
