this post was submitted on 18 Aug 2024
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the_dunk_tank

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Apparently the British wish to lock me up for daring to suggest something with flavor instead of a cucumber sandwich

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[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 59 points 1 month ago (2 children)

> add some seasoning

> wtf is this monstrosity

mfw england

[–] buckykat@hexbear.net 39 points 1 month ago (1 children)

> conquer half the world for spices

> refuse to use any of them

engl*nd moment

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

to be honest, i doubt the spice trade had much of an influence on english prole cuisine

[–] Belly_Beanis@hexbear.net 20 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

In all seriousness a lot of spices were used mostly in tea. But the British were mainly stealing stuff like cotton, gold, lumber, etc. and not necessarily food items.

[–] Belly_Beanis@hexbear.net 21 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Wouldn't want to have my spotted dick and blood crisps or whatever the fuck British people eat tasting like anything other than boiled celery.

[–] don@lemm.ee 20 points 1 month ago

“Boiled celery? A bit exotic, isn’t it?”

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[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 53 points 1 month ago (46 children)
[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 40 points 1 month ago

soypoint-1 DUNK TANK MOMENT EMERGES WITHIN A DUNK TANK POST soypoint-2

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[–] miz@hexbear.net 43 points 1 month ago (3 children)

bahn mi

most German way to spell banh mi

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 35 points 1 month ago

Auto Bahn and its a conveyor belt of bread leading to my mouth.

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[–] FALGSConaut@hexbear.net 39 points 1 month ago (2 children)

How dare you try to poison people with flavour! Everyone knows a proper cucumber sandwich is a single layer of cucumber slices (skin removed) between two slices of white bread (Use us-foreign-policy as a guide). If you're feeling particularly daring you may add a small pinch of salt and pepper but be careful not to over season, you wouldn't want to make something tasty by accident!

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[–] DefinitelyNotAPhone@hexbear.net 38 points 1 month ago (3 children)

This is why the English have to claim half of the food their immigrants brought with them as their own, lest they look up and realize the only tasty thing they make themselves is deep-fried (and even then that's arguably Scottish).

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Over a year ago I made fun of the blood-soaked colonial empire island's cuisine and had someone go full gammon on me because I was completely ignorant and (ableist slurs here) because I wasn't aware of how amazing this one curry place was from an authentic Indian family just down the street. cap-think

[–] nat_turner_overdrive@hexbear.net 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Hey now, the English stole that cuisine fair and square! Next you're gonna tell me the king should give back all the jewels in his crown and sceptre!!

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[–] SSJMarx@lemm.ee 31 points 1 month ago (2 children)

that monstrosity

it's chicken and vegetables on bread.

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 22 points 1 month ago

With foreign substances that are an abomination to rampaging colonial sensibilities frothingfash

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[–] Llituro@hexbear.net 28 points 1 month ago (2 children)

they didn't even describe an authentic version with daikon and pate spread angery

[–] Black_Mald_Futures@hexbear.net 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

i was the one trying to vaguely approximate a bahn mi from memory, my b

[–] Llituro@hexbear.net 20 points 1 month ago

you got really close to what i think is the prototypical recipe, no shade. i just really like the daikon and pate spread.

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[–] PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS@hexbear.net 25 points 1 month ago

If you went to an English tea room for afternoon tea

Well there's your first mistake

[–] Laborer3652@reddthat.com 20 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (8 children)

You have to remember that the ~~cunts~~ Brits spent hundreds of years raping and pillaging the world for spices, and the next hundreds of tears refusing to use them. The blander, the better!

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[–] tombruzzo@lemm.ee 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

A cucumber sandwich is just a water sandwich with extra steps

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