the_dunk_tank

Yeah, who eats bread? who goes out of their way to buy that shit?

~~I appreciate that this reply comes from https://www.reddit.com/user/ActionFigureCollects , someone who seems to be fully cartoon brained.~~

edit: Wait that's the Namaste guy, not this one. This guy is just a doctor.

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Apparently there are two of them locally with similarly harsh conditions for cars. 50% more UV radiation than sea level, constant road salt from September to May, deep snow that's heavily polluted near any major road, wildfires so massive that they blanket the entire area in ash for weeks.

This ill thought out poorly made piece of shit really is the gift that keeps on giving.

>buy $100k emotional support truck to get back at childhood bullies

>soggy biscuit luddites attack truck

>can't take it to a car wash without destroying it and voiding the warranty

This is the first time it's going to be me to put that first 100-200k miles on it, so I do consider it to be an investment.

Oh, bless your heart. You're not putting 100-200k miles on a Cybertruck.

it gets me to work on time

This is not the type of car you get "to get you to work on time", it's the type of car you get to feel like a feudal lord being driven around in a carriage while peasants stare in disgust

What is the point of a job that lets you buy one of these ridiculous things but you have to work 60-70 hours every week? That seems miserable.

I thought techbros are at the very least unhealthily obsessed with stock markets and financial instruments, but even I, a lazy commie who hides his financial incompetency behind "it's immoral bro", know that a car is not an investment, holy shit

In your opinion, to me, the money I'm saving on fuel, maintenance, repairs, and the rule of cool, I'm sitting pretty flat.

Buy my new finance training book "Everything's worth it if girls are watching", coming out next july

Unfortunately, there will always be haters, trolls, or nay-sayers or whatever we wanna call them. Douchebags, dumpster monkeys, or negative nellies.

Incredible that not only does the CEO talk like a child, but his fans too.

PSS: I'd consider keeping a cyber-baseball bat in the truck or frunk for those exceptional moments of self-defense.

This is probably just a joke, but a stupid one even for Muskrats. But then you remember that a lot of Tesla fans are libs and Silicon Valley dorks who probably dislike or can’t have guns. Imagine throwing some bread at the truck and the owner yells at you, opens up his trunk, walk all the way to front/back to grab the baseball bat, and you’re already half a mile away from him lol

I agree, I feel like sentry mode is trying to mine crypto or something.

It’s because the cameras are connected to a computer with high end GPUs.

It's definitely mining crypto

Imagine taking it camping with the shitty tent. The battery drains itself by morning to capture bad photos of wildlife. You're stranded but luckily you bought some super expensive generator that can get you to 10% if you breathe diesel fumes in the great outdoors for a few hours while sentry mode takes pictures of you being sad for Tesla employees to laugh at. Finally you get it charged, plot out the 100 miles to the nearest refueling point on your giant tablet computer, and it gets stuck trying to drive up a small hill exiting the campsite.

they aren't in Europe and hopefully never will

on one hand, good for road safety. On the other, I can't do any funny pranks to them

I fucking love the one where a beepboop apartheid truck owner went into a climbing gym and came out to find that someone had spit precisely in the middle of all four windows. One of the comments was asking if sentry mode captured it and the owner reported that it had glitched out and recorded nothing.

Even when you let it drain 7% of your battery to upload tens of gigabytes of data per day on your home connection and have to refuel 30% more often, who knows if that system will work. Unlimited bread on Teslas.

If it drains a load battery, they probably arent putting it on. Would you?

I threw an egg on a Tesla (not a cybertruck) once because they were blocking my parking spot by just... sitting in the alley right in front of and fully blocking the parking behind my building. No blinkers no nothing. I guess they didn't want to find parking for any of the nearby stores so they chose to block my entire alley instead.

I was bringing back groceries. The 4th trip all the way around my building with my groceries was when I had the eggs. I threw one at it. It cost me literally zero time because I was already walking by it wasting time taking grocery trips all the way around my building.

This is what I imagine happened here too. I didn't go out of my way to egg a Tesla it was just in my fucking way illegally parked and I happened to have eggs in my hands.