Or the opposite. “Howdy! Need directions? i just cleaned the grill and that clicking sound is the boot on your passenger-side CV joint.”
this post was submitted on 30 Apr 2024
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I'm the guy in the neighborhood where the conversations go like this:
Them: "Hey jubilationtcornpone, do you have a tool for doing [obscure DIY job] and if so, can I borrow it?"
Me: "Oh yeah, I have one of those. Sure, you can borrow it."
Them: "Ha! That's awesome. I just knew you'd have one. How do you even figure out how to use all those tools?"
Me: "You start by being too poor or too cheap to pay someone else to do it correctly."
And you keep the once in a lifetime tools because you're too poor to risk having to buy it again some day.
If you don't start off poor then you start by being too cheap to trust someone else to do it correctly. When you get older you graduate to not TRUSTING someone else to do it correctly. That leads to you being poor because you start spending a zillion dollars on tools.
“Yay! Visitors!”
I've met this guy. He was awesome. He made great food. And the clicking sound from my car was, indeed, exactly what he said.
That sounds expensive.
How I feel when people needlessly use a preposition to end a sentence with
That rule doesn't actually exist in English. It's a Latin rule that some British asshole in the 1800s wanted to impose on English because he believed that Latin was a perfect language and anything that works differently from Latin is a flaw to be corrected.
I play on hard mode
You mean, hard mode is what you play on.
Hard is the mode on which I play.
I play with hard mode on.
Edit: Dammit, someone beat me to the joke.
The point is that "in" doesn't need to be in the text at all.
Pro move.
"How dads feel when a stranger uses their driveway in which to turn around" makes you sound like a bit of a wanker though
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You can just drop the "in" altogether
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Why just "sound like" when I can be?
I like your attitude!
I’m lucky enough to have a driveway and can confirm it is sovereign land awarded to me by God.
However, I have not yet reached the age where I conduct active patrols of the border, like the even older dads across the street have done.
I FART IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
My father when turning around in a driveway would always say: "Don't bake a cake because we can't stay long."
Pretty much the same thing when you live along a highway and someone starts slowing down near your house
How did you get such a clear picture of me?
I got up close by using your driveway. You were right to glare.
Gate it if you dont want it used by the public
These are what they assume the occupants are like:
*insecure dads
Car stops on the street in front of the house .... Garrison at attention!!!
Car starts backing up towards the driveway .... All forces on high alert! Man your stations!!!
Car starts moving onto the driveway .... Cease all operations!! Men at your stations!!! We're dispatching a warning party!!!
Car drives away ..... Cancel all alerts!!! Go back to your patrols!
Why would you back up into a driveway to turn around? Going in forward seems easier.
Then you'd have to back up into traffic, and you're blasting your headlights into someone's living room.
Knock… Draw… Hold… Hold… Hold…
I'm guilty of this.
To make matters worse, I'm not a dad; and I live in an apartment...
Same here, I even live very urban, essentially right in the heart of the city. I still catch myself disapprovingly eyeing people walking by my windows on occasion. Am I getting old?
My grandfather lived on a corner lot. The man hung barbed wire (with a clear sign) across his driveway. Every time we visited, without fail, we heard the sound of someone needing a paint job.
“Are we blind?! Deploy the garrison!”
This must be in Europe. In the USA, our old dads shoot people for pulling into the driveway.
Ah yes an entire country of 340,000,000 people is definitely defined by the actions of a couple of homicidal morons.
This is why I stay out of Britain, it's pretty obvious that they are all maniacs just waiting to kill you with a sword.
Gotta avoid France too, those baguette munching asshats are just waiting to kill anyone who enters a park.
Gotta stay out of Germany too, they'll shank ya' for riding the train.
I stay out of Spain as well 'cuz they'll just gun you down in the street.
In fact its probably best just to stay home if possible, there's entire continents full people out there just waiting to murder you!
Was gonna say, I still remember that USA guy being shot .
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