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Man Dies After Secret 4-Year Battle With Gorilla (theonion.com)

submitted 3 weeks ago by FlyingSquid@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social

52 comments fedilink hide all child comments

This is one of the best Onion articles ever. Read the whole thing.

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[–] TheGiantKorean@lemmy.world 20 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Also, anyone notice that this took place in Roanoke, VA? Where they're especially known for gorilla attacks?

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 17 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

General Electric used to have a big factory in Roanoke, so I'm guessing the gorillas are a result of industrial pollution from some sort of superfund site that has yet to be cleaned up.

[–] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 18 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

G.E. Corporation = Gorilla Experimentation Corporation.

Wake up sheeple!

[–] bitchkat@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

So being woke is good? Make up your mind!

[–] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 1 points 2 weeks ago

Would it be better to die from gorilla in your sleep?

[–] TheGiantKorean@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

Gorilla infestations again!