The Onion

4629 readers
1187 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
seahorse@midwest.social
pbrisgreat@midwest.social
listing: all - local
1
135
Texas Bans Sale Of Luggage To Pregnant Women (theonion.com)
submitted 1 hour ago by RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
7 comments fedilink
2
231
Angela Merkel’s memoir only the second-best book written by a German leader, claims Nigel Farage (newsthump.com)
submitted 13 hours ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
39 comments fedilink
3
188
TSA Face Scanner Sues Identical Twins for "Malicious Algorithm Abuse" (isglitch.com)
submitted 1 day ago by EtAl_isGitch@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social
8 comments fedilink
 
 

Legal Battle Could Set Precedent for Human-AI Relations, Experts Say

4
1323
News Media Struggling To Report Why Gunman Targeted Wealthy CEO Instead of Lashing Out at Immigrants or Women (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 2 days ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
50 comments fedilink
5
250
FDA Recommends Adding Little Tabasco To That Bad Boy (theonion.com)
submitted 3 days ago by srasmus@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social
17 comments fedilink
6
215
Low Folding Chair Pulled Up To Corner Of Mar-A-Lago Conference Table For JD Vance (theonion.com)
submitted 2 days ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
1 comments fedilink
7
53
Notre-Dame Reopened To Fire (theonion.com)
submitted 2 days ago by RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
8
242
Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present & Future Debut Radical New Strategy (hard-drive.net)
submitted 3 days ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
5 comments fedilink
9
137
Here Are All the Games That Merrick Garland Played Instead of Doing His Job (hard-drive.net)
submitted 5 days ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
6 comments fedilink
10
259
Study: More Americans Buying Firearms To Defend Selves From Toddlers Who Found Their Guns [Video] (youtu.be)
submitted 5 days ago by RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
4 comments fedilink
11
224
Joe Biden Pardon’s Hunter After Being Told the Man Is His Son (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 6 days ago by Garibaldee@lemm.ee to c/theonion@midwest.social
6 comments fedilink
12
147
American Express Launches Small Sweatshop Saturday (theonion.com)
submitted 6 days ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
13
742
Anti-woke free-speech advocate disgusted to learn that his bathroom at home is gender neutral (newsthump.com)
submitted 1 week ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
24 comments fedilink
14
362
Child dying from measles just glad he isn't autistic - The Beaverton (www.thebeaverton.com)
submitted 1 week ago by GrymEdm@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social
4 comments fedilink
 
 

Bartlet, who says he used to enjoy Pokemon, soda, and being alive, tells everyone how great it is to be left totally defenseless against common childhood diseases from the 1940s.

15
382
Study: Overuse Of Hair Detangler Giving Rise To Product-Resistant Supertangles (theonion.com)
submitted 1 week ago by RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
9 comments fedilink
16
128
Amazon's New Warehouse Robot Mocks Workers With Bathroom Breaks (isglitch.com)
submitted 1 week ago by EtAl_isGitch@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social
3 comments fedilink
 
 

Latest AI Enhancement Includes 'Biological Function Simulation Protocol'

17
753
RFK Jr announces plan to put cocaine back into Coca-Cola (chaser.com.au)
submitted 1 week ago by Garibaldee@lemm.ee to c/theonion@midwest.social
54 comments fedilink
18
465
Donald Trump spends afternoon killing all Thanksgiving turkeys pardoned by Joe Biden (newsthump.com)
submitted 1 week ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
10 comments fedilink
19
260
FDA Bans Captain Morgan Rum After Having Way Too Much Of That Shit In College (theonion.com)
submitted 1 week ago by RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
16 comments fedilink
20
384
Report: Most Americans Have Enough Saved For Absolutely Incredible Single Day Of Retirement (theonion.com)
submitted 1 week ago by RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
11 comments fedilink
21
944
Defiant Joe Rogan insists he’s not a propaganda asset, just actually this stupid (www.thebeaverton.com)
submitted 1 week ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
84 comments fedilink
22
529
Conservative Vows to End All Systems of Child Abuse Except Ones That Actually Exist (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 1 week ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social
8 comments fedilink
23
288
Local Police Department’s Secret Santa Gift Exchange Entirely Made up of Punisher Merch (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 1 week ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social
4 comments fedilink
24
268
Netanyahu Insists on Crimes Against Humanity During Game Night (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 1 week ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social
1 comments fedilink
25
113
Dead Bird On Sidewalk Leads Man To Contemplate Own Inevitable Collision With Plate Glass (theonion.com)
submitted 1 week ago by jbk@discuss.tchncs.de to c/theonion@midwest.social
2 comments fedilink
view more: next ›