spoiler tmi too
I do kinda like that sometimes, should try more variations of it. I was really upset before I started so I just wanted to get it over with. Thank you for the advice.
:::spoiler
I just don't feel like a girl right now.
BountifulEggnog
joined 2 years ago
spoiler
I'm glad you feel less alone. I feel less alone too.
spoiler
You know what, fuck you too.
spoiler
I don't really believe you. When I see sad shit I get sad, and this is some of the saddest shit anyone's posted.
Thank you. I'm glad you like seeing me around. 
spoiler
Yea I have. Probably could look at it again some time when I'm in a better mood but tbh I don't remember anything I could do rn other then muffing (which did nothing for me). Its a "have to" in the sense that I'm a 20 something year old guy and it drives me crazy, especially because horny causes dysphoria. And tbh I was already sad when I started that just didn't help.
Thank you. Your empathy and listening always means a lot to me.
:meow-hug: thank you Ash.
more sad/suicide shit
tbh I don't even deserve girl clothes, just want a gun.
Sorry I'm so shitty chat, if I was better I'd keep these thoughts to myself. Just can't stop myself from spreading sadness I guess.
spoiler suicide
bottom dysphoria, sad, horny
I fucking hate masturbating. Fucking disgusting shit. The dysphoria, the sadness, the guilt, it all sucks. I never want to feel horny again. Why the hell does my brain do this shit to me.
spoiler probably the worst I've posted, seriously
Honestly how tf can I not want to destroy my brain for what it puts me through? Fucking sick part of my body. Everything else tries to do its job at least. Not my brain. Deeply unwell, makes me feel awful constantly. So many issues, many not fixable. Should be destroyed. It will not be satisfied in life. If I had a gun right now I'd shoot myself. This feeling has only gotten worse with time and I don't see a way out. I felt a lot of these things as a teen and I do not wish to go back. Why, with the promise of clothes and hrt being soon (tm), am I continuing to get worse? Conditions get better and I feel worse? Deeply unserious. These spirals are almost every day at this point, and the fantasies are getting more graphic, more intense, longer lasting, everything. I can't go back to how things used to be.bad
Dear god why do I not have a gun.
I know this is a very selfish thing to post, so I may as well tell you all that I'm physically safe right now. I don't know how reassuring that is given all of what I just said but whatever, its the best reassuring I can give you, dear reader. :::
:desolate: it's got to be more then that
:owl-pissed: okay maybe that isn't too bad. I got in trouble semi often too, usually for asking too many questions.
😔 I only got around 30, I should try to learn more then beginners method.
This has always sounded to me like something you'd say if you hadn't processed how fucked up it was yet.
Also Rubik's cube gang. Have a pb to brag about?
self harm talk
Tried sharpening my dull pos knife, won't sharpen. Probably not salvageable.