this post was submitted on 22 Dec 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] ElderWendigo@sh.itjust.works 33 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I say that computers work because we tricked some rocks into thinking by carving special runes into them.

[–] Saltblue@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago

It's not that magic doesn't exist, it's just that our current spells and rituals are rudimentary.

[–] Jorgelino@lemmy.ml 25 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Programmer here. Can confirm. Coding is just a list of instructions we send to the tiny people inside so they know what to do.

[–] Socsa@sh.itjust.works 15 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Electrical Engineer here. Electrons are people too! Very tiny, quantum people, with very tiny, quantum hopes, and very tiny, quantum dreams!

Science cannot disprove this.

[–] EfreetSK@lemmy.world 19 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Haha what? There are no small people in computers, what are you talking about?

sweats

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago

Found the small person.

[–] negativenull@startrek.website 19 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The smoke that comes out of computers sometimes is caused by the little people getting pissed off and lighting little fires out of protest.

[–] match@pawb.social 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Oh no! The tiny people in the computer are French

[–] Yerbouti@lemmy.ml 2 points 11 months ago

So-so-so so-li-da-ri-té

[–] Wogi@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago

I am a tool and die maker and I affirm that heart attacks are caused by tiny, airborne sharks that sound exactly like Steven Crowder on helium. When you breathe them in they go to your heart and literally attack it.

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 10 points 11 months ago (3 children)

No, computers work because there are very tiny rocks inside that vibrate when connected to electricity.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago

Don't bring your so-called science mumbo-jumbo around here!

[–] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 7 points 11 months ago

I trapped lightning in a rock, and taught it to do math.

Computers are arcane wizardry.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago
[–] jank1@links.hackliberty.org 8 points 11 months ago

the response fits perfectly 👌

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago

Do the little people have pointy hats?

[–] SuperSaiyanSwag@lemmy.zip 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I’m just a medical student, but as a computer engineer can’t he just hack into the mainframe and reveal that the earth is flat?

[–] satans_crackpipe@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

That would require multiple monitors and rave music.

[–] LopensLeftArm@sh.itjust.works 6 points 11 months ago

Salem hypothesis adjacent

[–] elephantium@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago

Reach inside your computer to discover the shocking truth...

[–] BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca 5 points 11 months ago

Education and wisdom are two separate stats, this guy didn't roll very high on Wis.

[–] SuddenDownpour@sh.itjust.works 5 points 11 months ago

Get him! Get the geologist and silence him! He's unveiled the truth and now they'll take our tiny people away from us!

[–] superduperenigma@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago (2 children)

What's up with all the boxes around the text?

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

No idea. I found it elsewhere and it made me laugh.

[–] Zoomboingding@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Inside every computer there's a little person

A very wholesome and talented person

And he loves you

This is his song

[–] nilclass@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 11 months ago

I expected this to be a rickroll. Got diappointed.

[–] sirico 3 points 11 months ago

Bloody sand tender

[–] blahsay@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago

John Davis is the secretary of the flat earth society*

  • And has taken idiocy to previously undreampt heights