Everywhere they went people were getting kidnapped, orcs were invading, trees were coming to life, and the dead were rising. Id want to be far away from that elevator.
this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2025
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You know for a fact that they'll literally coming charging across the countryside to rescue you though
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They probably wouldn't be that familiar with the workings of a lift either
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So ackshually...
Aragorn was descended from Elros who was a half-elf, but that was so long ago he may or may not be a full man depending on how racist one is about miscegenation.
Legolas was an elf and Gimli was a dwarf, so explicitly not Men.
How about Eomer and Faramir instead?
Men as in males, yes.
Men as in humans, mostly no
Elros and Elrond had a choice as to become Eldar or Edain. Elrond chose Eldar, while Elros chose Edain. Once they chose their mixed nature was resolved.
Not exactly, since the Númenóreans still had longer lives than Men due to their elven heritage. So while one could absolutely make the argument they were Men, there's also a case to be made saying they weren't pureblooded Men.
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Is the elevator spacious?
Arnold's got a decent number of allegations against him, but Andre would protect you so I guess it's honestly a freebie for the other two if he's in the mix.
Andre was a sweetheart, but a famous alcoholic. You'd have to worry about him passing out drunk. You don't want to get crushed by a 500 pound teddy bear in a small space.
There's a story of him passing out drunk in a hotel bar and the staff just having to let him stay the night where he fell because they couldn't move him.
Ok I recognise Andre and Arnold, who's the dude on the left?
Wilt Chamberlain.
The only NBA player to individually score 100 points in a game.
I tried to come up with a counter argument and realized pretty quickly that I didn’t want to.
I mean, they're objectively correct.
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I'd also go for Data, Riker, and LaForge.
You need O’Brien to act as a lightning rod for any misfortune.
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Let's be real. We're all NPCs so if any of the men are from something with action, we'll probably end up dead. My pick would be Bob Ross, Mr. Rogers, and Steve Irwin. Super calming and chill
Steve was an amazing person but I wouldn’t describe him as chill.
He was pure overwhelming enthusiastic energy.
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I'd choose: Boromir, Ned Stark, and Sean Bean.
No way anything bad can happen to me with those magnets around.
The whole elevator would just crash through the foundation. You'd be collateral when Death gets a 3 for 1 final destination style.
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Three guys wearing a red shirt
three clones of tom scott, who say "we are standing in an elevator going to the 5th floor" in perfect unison as you enter
Figures that the safest men to be stuck with aren't human men.
Aragorn?
He's 87 years old at the start of LOTR.
He descends from Elros the Half-Elf.
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He's got Elven heritage. He's the 64th descendant of Elros, brother of Elrond. I think he's also decendend from a Maiar as Elros and Elrond's great great grandmother was Melian.
My two older brothers and my dad
The fact that they had to go to fictional characters is significant.
To be fair, being fictional means they're significantly less dimensional than real people and are incapable of holding secrets.
I mean there are real people I feel absolutely safe around, but they're just normal people I know and have built trust with. There are no famous people I can say the same for because I don't know them personally, even if they seem good on the surface. And for fictional characters like these, we "know" Aragorn is safe because he's written to be benevolent, we've read his entire life, and the author's dead so there's no possibility for new material to change that perception.
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Somewhat related: that's a dream blunt rotation right there
I feel like Gimli would hog it, Aragorn would obviously be awesome, and Legolas would be chill but you could tell he's thinking your weed sucks, he's got a much better connection.
Gimli, it's a blunt, not a microphone
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Not if yer a fucken orc!
Physically safe - but you're gonna get sassed to within an inch of your life.
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