For some reason the bank won't let me take out an 8 figure loan to start my international piracy business. I'll be starting up a gofundme.
this post was submitted on 02 Jan 2025
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All you need to do is find a stretchy guy made of rubber
You've got to stare hard at the bank manager and say, "look at me. I'm the borrower now."
Hang on, I'll ask my bank to give me a small loan of $20 million. I'm sure they will not laugh in my face and tell me to go fuck myself.
The guy I had told me to pull myself up by the bootstraps and I ended up finding $20 mil in my sock
Power of hard work and sacrifice right there, a true testament to the spirit of capitalism. If you can, all can.
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Maybe If you cut back on morning coffee and avocado toasts, you wouldn’t need a $20 million loan.
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Yeah I'll just take a small loan of 20 million dollars from my normal worker parents..
I love the idea of a bunch of rando's purchasing LNG shipping and just thinking... step one, done... step two, profit!
it's so fantastically complex it's hilarious
And then draw the rest of the fucking owl
Step 1: Buy LNG tanker
Step 2:
Step 3: Profit
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For anyone seriously considering this: don't.
"The LNG market is set to rapidly grow" is a lie. Economies are shifting away from fossil fuels, and i guess by 2040 no metric ton of fossil fuels will be transported anymore.
This is a waste of money. They just want to get rid of their end-of-use LNG tankers. So they are looking for idiots to buy them.
Too late, already bought 5
Wow, you must be loaded. My bank only allowed me to take out a loan for 3.
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Pfft idk, seems like maybe you just want to buy up all the tankers for yourself.
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For anyone seriously considering this: how the fuck did you end up with that kind of money in your early twenties? Either you're business savvy in which case you won't consider this or daddy's rich in which case you should talk to your dad first.
Considering the value of the cargo, if you had that type of money to throw around, you could probably make a pretty profit. Fully loaded one of these tankers holds between $100,000,000 to $200,000,000 of LNG.
Assuming a modest 3% profit margin, though I suspect that you could achieve 5% easily, you'd pay back the ship with 4 full shipments. Since at 3% you'd have 6 million in profit per trip.
You get a small loan of 20 million dollars from your ~~patents~~, parents obviously
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by 2040 no metric ton of fossil fuels will be transported anymore
I seriously doubt it. Many countries are decarbonising like the UK has by getting rid of coal fired power stations and switching to renewables plus gas, because gas is a good way to solve the intermittency issues you get with many renewables. 2040 is not very far away, on that timescale the demand for LNG may actually go up.
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Buying a boat is a famously good investment
It's such a good investment that it's why insurance was invented.
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One of my high school teachers retired and bought a river paddle boat to put a restaurant on it. The idea was to cruise the local bay and provide a nice dining experience. Two years into owning it, the hull started leaking quite substantially. Apparently, the hull had not been maintained properly over the years and was now dangerously thin. The boat ended up being scrap. I guess they weren't bringing in enough profit with it sailing, they didn't even try to land lock it.
Dump terrifying greenhouse gas methane into the atmosphere at industrial levels, go into debt if you have to.
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You can’t argue with that price. A new one will set you back 80-250 mil. Crazy that people are sleeping on opportunities like this
Damn, I'm in my late 30s, too late *sadface
Be me Get job as Outbound Sales Consultant for ENGIE No idea how to sell LNG tankers to general public Post to LinkedIn that people should just buy one
Maurice Tessier Barrera - Outbound Sales for Energy Markets - Energy Leads | LinkedIn
...I mean, I don't think my bank's overdraft policy is gonna let me go THAT deep into debt
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Hello I would like to go into $19.990.000 debt please. I need to buy a LNG tanker for reasons...
Surely this is satire, right?
The original was a fancy watch
Interesting! This background story makes it much funnier: https://www.dailydot.com/memes/buy-a-rolex-go-into-debt-if-you-have-to-meme/
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Ima just leave this here, Climate Town's discussion of Natural Gas (or what we call Methane. Fart gas.)
He explains how ~~it's a~~ LNG is really fucking everyone over. Some points:
- NG infrastructure is leaky and causes lots of non-point-source pollution.
- Methane was supposed to be a transitional energy source as we moved towards renewables, but instead we're leaning heavily on methane while China is securing all the science patents and materials for solar.
- LNG is super inefficient. I think like 20% of it is used up in the liquification process, which is required for transit overseas. This is to sell it to nations abroad.
- Since we're really trying to get to renewables, everyone buying LNG is a jerk, and everyone selling it is also a jerk.
- If even one of these supertankers has a rupture incident, it will fuck the Earth, and I'll be sore as I watch wildfire ravage California, and by east coast buddies get hammered by hurricanes. Also we'll be closer to permanent drought and then global famine.
- Seriously, Methane is bad. NG infrastructure should be moved away from as quickly as possible. LNG is really extra super bad, and can ruin our kids' futures.
~~If you have $20 million you can just live off the interest and chill~~ Line must go up
Somebody is trying to sell LNG tankers to rich idiots. We're not switching to LNG, that was the 1980s through the 2000s. Solar, wind, and batteries are coming online. So LNG ships are actually starting to be replaced by battery ships.
If LNG was still a good ship to be purchasing, they wouldn't be selling them off.
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Hi, is this product still available?
I have 20 cents for a down payment.
BRB, gotta check between the sofa cushions.
I can imagine the raucous laughter behind me as I exit the bank, fist clenched in anger and face red with embarrassment, after explaining to the loan officer that I needed $20m to purchase an LNG tanker but also that I have never been a sea captain, don't know anything about natural gasses, and have no supply chain for acquiring or selling the product that said tanker is meant to distribute.
Nah, I'm good. I'll stay poor.
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