i just don't really know what a place like that looks like yet. i can acknowledge they exist but i'm kinda forced into the spaces where i have to prove that i'm a woman (for now). i'm not entirely comfortable in these spaces either but i need to work, there's only so much family i have, and i have all the same friends from high school.

It is cool honestly, I mean I worked too until I got fired (blue collar job) and I still have my family around Idk. I also had my friends from highschool for a while but most of em were queer anyway.

since coming out i'm now painfully aware of every gendered action i do and depending on the reaction of whatever cis person i'm with, sometimes it does feel like i miss a red light and get my gender identity obliterated in front of me

Okay, this is going to sound like I'm taking the piss or asking loaded questions, but I am genuinely sincerely wanting to know: what are some examples of gendered actions like this, and more importantly almost, what do the red lights look like? The most I can possibly draw is, I could sorta tell when one of the dudes at work was trying to treat me like One of the Boys, but for one fuck em, for two it was very easy to disabuse them of this notion, because you cannot have brotalk witth me. But even that I wouldn't describe as a "red light"?

maybe that's just another coping mechanism for me though, maybe i need to find where the traffic lights don't really do shit. i'm hoping when i leave this city (surely that will solve all my issues, right??), there will be enough of a change to find some new social spaces. maybe i'm deviating a bit from the point and making it about myself,

I want to know about people's experiences so dw :3 and yeah maybe, I mean I know I find being around my family constraining because they can't relate to me anymore and only see the fifteen year old boy I was. It does feel freeing to get away from shit like that ✨

while i do fall into little traps where i find things i'm jealous of (he 100% passes, he's never had to worry about voice training, i watched him come out 9 years before i did, etc.), that just disregards everything else that he's had to go through to get here.

Yyyyyyeah, which is already fuckin stupid on its own, like waow great observation, truly it's so "easy" for our transmasc comrades... When you start to draw the lines back to subversivism, and if you're cursed you start thinking about Baeddelism and yeah this is insufferable cringe. I mean it's only a couple of degrees removed from what you hear on certain imageboards...

Man this is fuckin awful, if you are a transmasc user and reading this, I'm sorry

i find it funny that every few chapters "she finally gets it!", before realising she still knows about as much as before. bit hypocritical of me to point out, i know i do the same shit

I think, when Maria isn't doing ideologically scuffed classification of various genders, this is part of her appeal. She's even aware to an extent that her disaffected monologue is often keeping her from moving past things and get better. We love our bitter, sarcastic garbage lady because she reflects our failings in a halfway loveable manner, I think

The text has pretty fuckin dim views on trans men so it wouldn't surprise me in the least, to be honest with you. Not that far of a leap. It would pair nicely with the "trans men are always taking up space and talking over trans women" stuff, I think!