this post was submitted on 02 Dec 2024
551 points (96.1% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

27156 readers
3186 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 99 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Hope my wife doesn't mind.

[–] Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 36 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Not to mention GFs '15 - '24.

[–] Windex007@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago

Valentine's Day set to bankrupt me this year

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] slingstone@lemmy.world 64 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Umm...I think my wife's going to be upset when she learns I'm getting a girlfriend...

[–] allidoislietomyself@lemmy.world 18 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Let her get a boyfriend and maybe it'll all work out?

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 12 points 2 weeks ago

Or let her get a girlfriend and you get a boyfriend

[–] hotelbravo722@slrpnk.net 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Arguably it does, just not the way the person who suggests it expects it to.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] hperrin@lemmy.world 49 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Joke's on you, I got married in two of those years.

[–] jettrscga@lemmy.world 29 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Damn, sorry to hear you lost your girlfriend

[–] lud@lemm.ee 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Godnroc@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

At least once. If they're monogamous it could be as high as three times.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] bizzle@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Same lmfao 2016 (mid at best) and 2024 (extra good)

[–] TommySoda@lemmy.world 42 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

Bro, I'm trying. I work all the time and online dating sucks butt. I think I've been on every dating app there is at least twice over the past 7 years with zero success. Like, I know I'm an introvert but it shouldn't be that hard. Especially when everyone and their mom tells me how great of a dude I am.

I think my problem is that I'm just not built for online dating. My last girlfriend and I met through fucking Reddit of all places... They should make a dating app for introverts where there are no pictures until you match with someone. Because I'm sure I'm not the only introvert that cannot for the life them take a good picture of themselves.

[–] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 26 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

Introvert here. I met my now introvert wife at speed dating.

If you haven't done it before, you are in a room (usually a rented out restaurant so its just for this event) with lots of tables. At each table is a woman. As a man, you are directed to sit at a specific numbered table where there is a woman seated (all the other men do the same to the individual table they are directed to). A bell rings. You have 5 minutes to talk to each other and learn as much as you can about each other. After 5 minutes, the bell rings, and the woman stay seated, and the man moves to the next higher numbered table. You have a card with the woman's name on it and you should REALLY make notes, because you won't remember which things you thought with each person. The women do the same with their cards.

In under 2 hours each person now talked to 14-18 potential mates. At the end of the night you go online and mark which of the women you're interested in hearing more from. If any of the women you mark also mark you on their side, you're given an in-app communications channel and you can choose to share personal contact information from there.

When you're sitting at the table talking with a woman sometimes it seems like that bell rings as soon as you sit down and you wish you had more time. Those are the ones you mark on your card to talk more with. Sometimes, you're 1 minute in and you're dreading waiting though the next 4 min. Those you do not mark.

I'd recommend you give Speed Dating a try.

[–] Thatuserguy@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Curious where you find something like this. Did you just Google "Local Speed Dating" or something?

[–] metaStatic@kbin.earth 18 points 2 weeks ago

I just searched for hot singles in my area. Works everytime.

[–] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

Did you just Google “Local Speed Dating” or something?

Yep. There are usually companies that put these on, and as its their business, it will be the same companies doing many sessions throughout the year.

I wasn't sure if Speed Dating was still a thing (since I did it years ago), and I find it is still a thing!

There's one tonight in Los Angeles:

But also midwest towns. Here's one in Des Moines Iowa 2 days from now:

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] burgersc12@mander.xyz 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

This sounds horrible, like an interview but multiple back to back and lasting for hours. No thanks, I'd rather be thrown back into the hell of online swiping.

[–] dditty@lemm.ee 4 points 2 weeks ago

I have not had much luck with dating apps, so a friend and I attended a local speed dating event when we turned 30. Apparently it was advertised on a dating app and is run by a company that does events for singles.

Anyway it was exactly like you described - a series of awkward interviews with strangers I didn't click with, some of whom tuned out after a couple of minutes and you could tell they were just waiting for the next person. Many were people who had just moved to the state/country.

Any other option for meeting people would probably be better than attending a speed dating event imo

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] slumlordthanatos@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago

Like, I'm in that position too, except I have a touch of the 'tism to go along with it. Not so much that I can't function, but enough to the point that socializing is exhausting. I get nothing but bots when I try online dating, and going out mostly just results in people asking me why I'm always just standing in a corner by myself.

Really, I just need a wingman, but I don't know anybody who would be willing or able to do it; my brother and both of my closest friends live an hour-and-a-half away and my BIL has very young kids.

I'm at a point where I'm not sure if it's ever gonna happen.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone 32 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I'm too fucked up for an SO. There's a song lyric that goes "How's anyone else gonna love you, if you don't love you too" and like, yeah. Way too full of self hatred to be appealing to anyone.

[–] ApatheticCactus@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Same. I know my red flags, you don't. If I were a used car I'd strongly recommend against getting it.

[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

No, see, the real red flags are the ones you aren't aware of yet.

Those are the ones I'm frightened of. Like there's just this itty-bit of something just waiting for the right bump to break and cut my brake lines while I'm on the highway.

I don't know what it is, but I know it's there, so I gotta be self-critical until I find the piece to fix!

At the very least I can tell you my job isn't in sales.

[–] big_slap@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

at least you are self aware enough to potentially fix this self hatred you have for yourself. people go on their entire lives living like this, its a vicious cycle. good luck!

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Draegur@lemm.ee 23 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I got a girlfriend in 2023

The experience was mid.

She's cool and we still hang out sometimes but being in a relationship kinda sucked and I'm glad we reloaded the friend save state.

I'm just not cut out for being someone's only partner.

[–] angelmountain@feddit.nl 4 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Exclusivity in a romantic relationship is a social construct. Look into ENM. It might not fit you or it just might.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I appreciate the confidence, but girlfriends require time. While it would be cool and could be helpful to have that extra support around, all I can do is provide money and dick.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Dorkyd68@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago

Oh daisy, yet another year has come and gone and yet another year you lie to me. Your words of encouragement are only gonna work like 3 to 4 more times max then I'm giving uo

[–] paddirn@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Jokes on you, my sex doll is already on the way, be here before Christmas.

[–] hperrin@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Did you get the kind that can also make dinner? Wait, am I thinking of a microwave?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] robocall@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

I can invite her to my wedding

[–] fnrir@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Joke's on you. I'm gay (and still single ;-;).

[–] DakRalter@thelemmy.club 8 points 2 weeks ago

That's okay. The GF actually stands for gayfriend.

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 2 weeks ago

No thanks, I'm good.

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

I'd be too scared to talk to her anyway

[–] HEXN3T@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 weeks ago

We outta room

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

Another one?

[–] stupidcasey@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

Just preparing for the future

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 weeks ago

I'm waitinggggg

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

~~2025~~ ~~2026~~ ~~2100~~ ~~2525~~ ~~3000~~ ~~10000~~ ??????

[–] CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social 5 points 2 weeks ago

And if I refuse?

load more comments
view more: next ›