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Matt Gaetz Tells Girlfriend He Can Attend Quinceañera After All (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

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TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Former Florida representative Matt Gaetz informed his girlfriend Valentina he will be able to go to her 15th birthday party after ending his bid for Attorney General, sources who attend Rickards High School confirm.

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[–] Facebones@reddthat.com 56 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Gaetz found out it wasn't "JV Dance" it was "JD Vance"

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

Oh yooooou! I love this comment!

[–] Jimbabwe@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Somebody was on reddit today

[–] Today@lemmy.world 45 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Sometimes the articles are just silly, but this one is worth the read!

[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The cousins from Miami got me

[–] bitchkat@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The "Gaetz made a post asking reddit how to make venmo payments private" was my favorite.

[–] spamellama@midwest.social 4 points 1 month ago

Because of course he would

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

I felt compelled to read it too. Haha.

Was not disappointed!

[–] NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So glad his schedule freed up

[–] radix@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

He has time to finally go back and get another diploma. He can graduate high school again, right?

[–] NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

He’d probably prefer middle school

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I cannot wait for them to take over Infowars

[–] davidgro@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This one is a different satire newspaper, but yeah.

[–] jwt@programming.dev 8 points 1 month ago

This one can take over breitbart or oan.

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Punks probably drooling in anticipation

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

TBF middle school volleyball finals take precedence