this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] thesporkeffect@lemmy.world 96 points 1 month ago (1 children)

1950s jello cake ass food crime. Wtf

[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 19 points 1 month ago

Yes, I'd like one slice of the cake-ass please. No box, I'm gonna eat it here.

[–] BleakBluets@lemmy.world 76 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago

I heard this in Dexter's voice.

[–] Randelung@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Presented in the new fashion of choice: Derelicte.

[–] devilish666@lemmy.world 44 points 1 month ago
[–] misophonium@lemmy.blahaj.zone 38 points 1 month ago

Babe, come get a slice of egg loaf before it gets cold!

[–] wjrii@lemmy.world 33 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

As a child growing up in the foothills of Grenyarnia, life was a simple, bucolic idyll. Every day the sun would shine through my modest little window, and I'd wake to the gentle scent of the titan arums, as well as the somewhat more pungent, but equally welcome, aroma of the Svenborgian staff bringing me my breakfast.

Oh what a repast it always was! The earthy notes of the Organic sixième presse de pied grape juice! The ever-unexpected delights of caviar-infused macarons! And to top it all off, of course, was my favorite, the delightful egg dish! The name is a bit of a mouthful, Sot den Arschlächer et ass eng Omelette, but my family and I always just called them our beloved Arschloch Omelettes. I never quite took down the recipe, as our staff mysteriously disappeared one night, coincidentally along with some of the tableware and a few million kroner of what mummy and daddy called the loose change. C'est la vie! You will be missed, Griselda! Or was it Greta? Or Bob?

Still, through my years of studying the culinary arts, with literally hours spent every month living and breathing the finest recipes and influencers, I think I've come close. My life coach and herbalist both tell me they've never tasted anything like it. Please enjoy my most favorite thing, and maybe you'll become an Arschloch lover like me...

[–] Jerkface@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

How do you nominate for comment of the year?

[–] ultrahamster64@lemmy.world 31 points 1 month ago
[–] TheBannedLemming@lemmy.world 28 points 1 month ago

They say anyone can cook. But that doesn't mean that anyone should cook.

[–] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 27 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Nothing a little smoked paprika can't fix.

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[–] nialv7@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The only problem I have with this is if I eat this many eggs in one sitting I will be on bed for the next couple of days.

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This is obviously meant to be a cake. You shouldn't eat an entire cake.

In one sitting.

[–] xx3rawr@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 month ago

YOU'RE NOT MY PARENTS

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I don't even understand what I'm looking at.

[–] Imhotep@lemmy.world 27 points 1 month ago (2 children)

an omelett, but the eggs haven't been stirred

I find this incredibly funny, still laughing, yet I'm not sure why

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Oh, ok, I thought it was the various ingredients. I zoomed in and finally figured out it was merely different shots of the same thing.

[–] MentalEdge@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 month ago

I just keep imagining the faint outlines of the yolks and I burst into a fit of giggles.

[–] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 month ago

Just eggs cooked hard in a skillet.

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago

I just fucked up a french omelet and now i don't feel so bad about it

[–] Xenny@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago

That... Actually takes some skill to do

[–] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 18 points 1 month ago

What a bold decision to put yolks in that egg white omelet.

[–] twig@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Weird thing to fuck but ok

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's not how that slang phrase works, and you know it!

[–] NormalPerson@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Please keep your distance for the next farty hours

[–] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)

is there supposed to be a problem with this?

[–] lefixxx@lemmy.world 33 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Only of you insist it's an omelette

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What would you even call that mass? A hard-boiled dozen?

[–] oo1@lemmings.world 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

hard-boiled hexegg. It's better in German, hartgekoctsechsei.

edit - ignore me, I thoght it was a half dozen - add a doppel in there maybe.

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[–] kindenough@kbin.earth 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The Germans would call this an Eierkuchen

[–] anyhow2503@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

It's only missing every ingredient except Eier.

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago

Cut it into cubes and stick them with toothpicks and you can lie and say it's a Barbarian hors d'oeuvre or some shit.

[–] atro_city@fedia.io 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

That's called a tortilla, right?

[–] kindenough@kbin.earth 6 points 1 month ago

Missing garlic, onion and patato, but pretty close to it.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

I'd refund any tortillas if they were like this.

[–] Astronauticaldb@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Isn't that just poached eggs that have been jellified together?

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[–] scottmeme@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago
[–] RangerJosie@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

This is .... poetry...

[–] Blackmist 5 points 1 month ago

Gaston makes fried eggs.

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