Disgusting deep fried county fair food is one of the only remotely defensible things about the US
this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2024
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chapotraphouse
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Midwestern* American crab rangoon
Hell yeah (I am extremely white)
Classic American dishes, deep fried ranch and deep fried butter!
Calling this a "dish" is quite a stretch lol
let us be, we're not hurting anyone but ourselves with this
I hate ranch, but I will stand up for American fair food. Those people truly make an art out of frying literally fucking anything, it's impressive. First time I heard about deep fried spaghetti, I was less disgusted and more confused how they even manage to do that. Too bad my state is never original and never has something that seems deadly to eat, I gotta go to other states for that
I'd eat that. (Yes, I'm a Midwesterner, how did you guess?)
Let them cook!
i approve, unlimited heart attacks on Minnesota 
I have defended ranch dressing (only home made) in the past, but this is too far, it's a cold condiment
It's not much different than a cream cheese wonton imo
ah, I missed the cream cheese part, it might be alright, depends on how acidic they make it with buttermilk
Maybe it’s like fried ice cream.
Am Midwestern, would much rather get one of these as opposed to that fried ranch car crash
I mean, not being from them midwest I'm pretty used to seeing "outside-the-box" ice cream flavors, that doesn't even seem that weird honestly it sounds kind of fire. I'd eat a vegan version.
Dole soft serve is usually vegan!
They make it with coconut milk most places and it's pretty dang good
If it weren't for the chamoy that would probably be pretty good. Actually, maybe it's better than chamoy candies - which are easily the most disgusting candy I've ever tried, being both intensely salty and also blandly unpleasant in a just sort of generally foul way - because of how comparatively dilute it is. I've never had it on something as an actual sauce, only in those disgusting hard candies.
I'd probably try it because the rest of it I know would be good and probably works well together.
Can I get the deep fried olive oil and vinegar instead? I'm trying to cut back on calories.
Incredible, now I can dip my ranch in ranch
yeah but does it come with a side of ranch for dipping?
unironically i love state/county fair food specifically because it caters to my disgusting tastebuds/probable ED. why yes, i would like a deep fried anything that is basically 2/3rds of my food pyramid anyways
That looks incredibly bad for you and incredibly delicious. I’d try at least one.
Deep fried anything is delicious but... It's not a solid. It's not even gelatinous, it's a thick liquid. Why would you do this?
the description makes it sound like its ranch-flavored creamcheese filling, not true ranch
I didn't see that in the description before but now that you mention it, they do say that. Still though I could see it oozing out and and... Ugfh
We're really not helping ourselves with this one
i will 100% eat some fair-food grade fried garbage, but even to me this seems like a dumb idea across the board.
like, what is the appeal of a sudden burst of tissue-burning-hot hydrophobic liquid filling your mouth? because you know that's what's happening when you bite into this. like a hell-microwaved pizza roll, except it's no other ingredients/all oily magma and you have no idea if it's cooled down on the inside, because the whole point of frying stuff is trapping heat in for rapid internal cooking. like how doing a 15 lb turkey in the oven is almost 4 hours, a 15 lb turkey in a convection oven is like 3 hours, but in a deep fryer it's under an hour. it makes frying a big hit logistically with "fast" food scenes like fairs because you are churning out batches of this or that in minutes.
also, the whole point of the thick savory condiment is to moderate the hot fried semi-ouchy, while the fat of the condiment evens out the texture and conducts and blends seasonings from various textures together.
like, i would try one because i am a large adult son with a credit card, but i'm poking it with a toothpick first and squeezing a bit out to see if its napalm.
It might only cook long enough so the outside is cooked and the inside is nice and cool
Eh... cheese sticks are a thing... whatever kills us off faster I guess.
I don't know what to say so i will tell a mildly relevant joke:
Last Supper:
Jesus: "Peter pass me the bread"
Jesus: "This is my flesh, eat this"
Jesus: "Jacob pass me the wine"
Jesus: "This is my blood, drink it"
Jesus: "Judas pass me the mayonnaise"
Judas: "FUCK THIS IM OUT"
I regret not trying ranch when I was in the US
Its pretty easy to make.
Butter milk, mayo, garlic powder, onion powder, dill, salt, pepper. I add msg. It should be tangy and the ratio of Mayo to buttermilk is to your desired consistency. I like it a bit thin.
Send it all to me... to uh... dispose of.