this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2024
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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Rule 9: if you post ironic rage bait im going to make a personal visit to your house to make sure you never make this mistake again

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It's so joever

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[–] Thordros@hexbear.net 92 points 4 months ago (1 children)

My nine year old watched the debate and turned to me and said, "How can an election held in such an atmosphere of class conflicts, class enmity, and pressure brought to bear on the electors by the capitalists be called altogether free and altogether democratic? This debate is a farce. Only in a nation where there are no capitalists and no landlords—and, consequently, no pressure exerted by propertied classes—may there be an atmosphere of collaboration between the workers, the peasants, and the intelligentsia, free of pressure distorting their will."

[–] kristina@hexbear.net 59 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

The kid:

Fun fact he's 25 here

[–] Thordros@hexbear.net 37 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)
[–] joaomarrom@hexbear.net 89 points 4 months ago
[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 66 points 4 months ago (2 children)
  1. I too can make shit up, my kids are rabid Maoists that read theory for dinner

  2. I hate that Biden is "the good one" based on the fact alone that he isn't Trump. How is Strom Thurmunds buddy a good person again?

[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 34 points 4 months ago

that read theory for dinner

Communism no food :smuglord:

[–] BeamBrain@hexbear.net 23 points 4 months ago (1 children)

All of my children are hardcore Maoists who have pledged their lives to the destruction of the Great Satan

spoilerThis is technically true, since I don't have any children

[–] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 16 points 4 months ago

My double PHD in marxist economics and 18th century Swiss philosophy (required to understand Engels) sits over the fireplace of my home, my fireplace is a salvaged drum from a 1950s washing machine that was recalled for locking children inside of it. I chose that washing machine model on purpose because I am anti-natalist.

[–] ExtimateCookie@hexbear.net 61 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I have a feeling white libs procreate just for the "my x years old said" tweets

[–] nat_turner_overdrive@hexbear.net 39 points 4 months ago (1 children)

my 7 year old cat said "the ORANGE BUFFOON is a bad man and I'm with Joe!"

[–] DirtyPair@hexbear.net 24 points 4 months ago (1 children)

why'd your cat go after garfield like that?

[–] frauddogg@lemmygrad.ml 12 points 4 months ago

Clearly their seven year old cat is the cutest cat in the entire universe, Nermal.

[–] TheDoctor@hexbear.net 20 points 4 months ago

White lib here. Can confirm.

[–] Angel@hexbear.net 43 points 4 months ago (6 children)
[–] Skeleton_Erisma@hexbear.net 43 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)
[–] Mindfury@hexbear.net 34 points 4 months ago (2 children)
[–] axont@hexbear.net 28 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] Mindfury@hexbear.net 24 points 4 months ago

steve jobs gottem

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 23 points 4 months ago

Deez ligmas

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 22 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 18 points 4 months ago

That just came up as ******, what gives?

[–] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 19 points 4 months ago

Billiam Brayden Aiden Hayden-Kil'jaeden Neveah Candida Peighleigh Javelina Zelenskyyy Bonzales-Forsmythington XVII

[–] ComradeLove@hexbear.net 10 points 4 months ago

Samuel Clemons.

[–] SpiderFarmer@hexbear.net 39 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Those first two were rough, but that third really was worth the spoiler tag for the faint of heart.

[–] roux@hexbear.net 31 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I"m dead inside and still managed to cringe from second hand cracker embarrassment.

[–] PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS@hexbear.net 43 points 4 months ago (2 children)
[–] frauddogg@lemmygrad.ml 17 points 4 months ago

You're lucky I recognize your username, I was about to ritual summon LowTierGod in face-up powerword position

[–] roux@hexbear.net 13 points 4 months ago
[–] TheDoctor@hexbear.net 37 points 4 months ago

I sat my kid down to watch the presidential debate. When he felt the alienation inherent to to political system, easily palpable even at his age, he despaired. So I informed him that the time we just spent together was meaningless and I made him watch this thing for no particular reason. This is a very emotional story.

[–] MemesAreTheory@hexbear.net 35 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I had hidden those second two tweets away in a corner of my brain that you unearthed, and now I'm forced to feel that queezy feeling in my stomach at cringe on a level I find hard to describe.

So I mean, fuck you I guess.

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 20 points 4 months ago

Consider this an inoculation for the next four years

[–] AnarchoSnowPlow@midwest.social 35 points 4 months ago (1 children)

My 4 year old heard 5 minutes of the debate and asked me why people placed so much stock in a president's ability to respond coherently to questions in a high pressure situation. I explained that it's an unfair expectation and that he'd better straighten up Jack.

Then he farted as he walked away to eat a bowl of dog food. Cause he's a great dane.

[–] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml 31 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Can empathise. My cat didn't watched the debate so i chastized him as apolitical follower of status quo and full bowl, but he just looked at me and reminded me about "MAO" so i had to read for a few hours and write a scathing selfcritique.

[–] Dolores@hexbear.net 33 points 4 months ago

you got sam alito strung upside down like il duce for a pfp but Your Guy to fix that shit is fucking Biden lmao

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 29 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I thought the tweet was only a stupid joke but then I noticed the name - Elie Mystal. He's a lawyer and big-time MSNBC legal expert lib. So...

1. He lied to get likes.

or

2. He actually subjected his kid to the debate.

[–] Feinsteins_Ghost@hexbear.net 20 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I wanna know why my X year old kids have never had the profundity that their kids do.

I think that’s probably Gommulism’s fault probably.

[–] Speaker@hexbear.net 16 points 4 months ago

Holy Wisdom Shit Balls.

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 18 points 4 months ago

There's no way that first one isn't a bit. It's so silly.

[–] buh@hexbear.net 18 points 4 months ago

Joekanda forever 🙅

[–] SpanishSpaceAgency@hexbear.net 17 points 4 months ago

watch them have 0 turnout because everyone gave up but still blame it on the left.

thank god i stopped giving a fuck to electoralism

[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 17 points 4 months ago

Maybe cringe is an ableist or 'phobic thing for the average lib. Me? I cringe to these fuckin tweets cringe

[–] save_vs_death@hexbear.net 15 points 4 months ago

too bad the only possible choice was a person that can't speak

[–] Llituro@hexbear.net 13 points 4 months ago

By the bottom of this collection I could feel my brain trying its level best to stroke out.

[–] Red_Sunshine_Over_Florida@hexbear.net 9 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

There is once again a cheeto-man in the White House.

[–] radiofreeval@hexbear.net 7 points 4 months ago

Vally need drinky.