this post was submitted on 25 May 2024
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Pope Francis paved the way for the canonization of the first saint of the millennial generation on Thursday, attributing a second miracle to a 15-year-old Italian computer whiz who died of leukemia in 2006.

Carlo Acutis, born on May 3, 1991, in London and then moved with his Italian parents to Milan as a child, was the youngest contemporary person to be beatified by Francis in Assisi in 2020.

Acutis, who died of acute leukemia on Oct. 12, 2006, was put on the road to sainthood after Pope Francis approved the first miracle attributed to him: The healing of a 7-year-old Brazilian boy from a rare pancreatic disorder after coming into contact with an Acutis’ relic, a piece of one of his T-shirts.

According to Vatican News, the second miracle recognized on Thursday is related to a woman from Costa Rica, who in July 2022 made a pilgrimage to Acutis’ tomb in Assisi to pray for the healing of her daughter, who had suffered severe head trauma after falling from her bicycle. The young woman started showing signs of recovery immediately after her mother’s plea.

so the vatican has all of this kids clothes preserved as relics and they cut off pieces of his t-shirts so they can mail them to cancer patients. just imagining like, spongebob, batman, metallica t-shirts being guarded as holy relics in rome for centuries to come.

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[–] Dolores@hexbear.net 77 points 5 months ago (2 children)

has all of this kids clothes preserved as relics and they cut off pieces of his t-shirts so they can mail them to cancer patients

whatever happened to chopping off some bones as relics this is tacky as fuck

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 47 points 5 months ago (1 children)

For real, my church had gilded skulls and finger bones, in addition to all the chalices and holy hand grenades

Really put me on my path to being a morbid little kid

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 34 points 5 months ago

Same. My parents wondered why I got into goth shit and demonology. Church, guys. Church made me get into it.

[–] SoyViking@hexbear.net 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Young people these days are so woke that they don't even want to chop up a corpse for souvenirs any more.

[–] Dolores@hexbear.net 11 points 5 months ago

wojak-nooo billions must ossuary

[–] Facky@hexbear.net 61 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I will pray to him when my ping is too high.

[–] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml 18 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It would probably get worse when your prayer try to connect to heavenly server. It is very far and usually pretty overloaded.

[–] Facky@hexbear.net 13 points 5 months ago

Damnit you're right.

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[–] Palacegalleryratio@hexbear.net 52 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Catholicism is a fake ass religion. How can anyone take this shit seriously?!

Also if I know anything about 15 yr old boys who are internet users, it’s that the real relic shouldn’t be one of his t shirts, it should be the crusty sock down the back of his wash basket.

[–] Tachanka@hexbear.net 33 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Catholicism is a fake ass religion. How can anyone take this shit seriously?!

still waiting to see a real ass religion

[–] wtypstanaccount04@hexbear.net 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)
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[–] Diuretic_Materialism@hexbear.net 12 points 5 months ago

Polytheists are the only real religious people. "Oh yeah our Gods are a bunch of inbred weirdos who live on a Mountain and rule us by arbitrary whims so it totally makes sense that we have to burn horse foreskins for them cuz that's just some weird shit they're into, also those people like 20 miles away who have their own pantheon of inbred weirdos are totally legit and if enough of us fuck enough of them we'll just meld the two inbred weirdo families together."

Everyone else is trying to nerd there way into thinking there's some rational benevolent AI controlling everything. Monotheists are the OG scifi nerds.

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[–] ElGosso@hexbear.net 51 points 5 months ago (4 children)

Why were people praying at his tomb when he wasn't a saint yet? Why did he have a tomb and not just a grave? Lots of weird shit happening here.

Found this on his wikipedia page:

Carlo Acutis was born in London, England, on 3 May 1991, to Andrea Acutis and Antonia Salzano, members of wealthy Italian families.[4][6][7][8] The Acutis family had a prominent position in the Italian insurance industry.[9] The Salzanos ran a publishing company.[10] Acutis' maternal great-grandmother was born in the United States and came from a family of landowners in New York.[11]

So this kid's rich parents made a hefty donation to the church and now he's a saint? Is that how it works?

[–] SoyViking@hexbear.net 26 points 5 months ago

Is that how it works?

Some saints were canononized because of genuine religious reasons but rich and powerful people has always been able to lobby the church to get one of their guys canonised, that's why most European countries have a saint who also happens to have been a king.

[–] Redcuban1959@hexbear.net 45 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Due to having played video games in life, Acutis has been described as the "first saintly gamer".

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[–] edge@hexbear.net 44 points 5 months ago (3 children)

So his "miracles" were posthumous and had nothing to do with the internet?

[–] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 50 points 5 months ago (5 children)

There are very few miracles that happened in the lives of saints. The point of the whole 2 miracles to canonize a saint is that once you die, people who think you went to heaven pray for your intercession. If you really are in heaven then you'd ask God to make the miracles happen. Then the idea is that if a miracle happens, it was because of the saint's intercession. But this only works if people are ONLY praying for the purported saint's intercession.

It's kinda a weird system, I've gone to some Masses hosted by an order of nuns that was founded by a nun who is now in the process of being beatified. They asked the attendees to pray for her intercession, but you could ONLY pray for her intercession, no one else's, or else we don't know who interceded.

[–] Leon_Frotsky@hexbear.net 41 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Turning up a dial that says pseudo paganism on it and looking back to the congregation for approval

[–] AssortedBiscuits@hexbear.net 11 points 5 months ago

Catholics reinventing ancestral worship.

[–] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml 33 points 5 months ago

people who think you went to heaven pray for your intercession

And they have the gall to call buddhists "idolators"

[–] ClimateChangeAnxiety@hexbear.net 30 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Ya know, that explains why there are so many fucking saints, and also is absolutely bullshit.

We’ve gotta switch to only counting the ones who actually performed their miracles while alive, that’ll make the numbers a lot more reasonable too

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 28 points 5 months ago

sadly removing my shrine to St. Aubergine of Babaganoushpolis

[–] absolutefuckinidiot@lemmygrad.ml 13 points 5 months ago

“Beatified” should also be a term for when you spend 2 hours doing heavy glam makeup for the club

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[–] Redcuban1959@hexbear.net 31 points 5 months ago (2 children)

The miracles have nothing to do with the internet, but Carlo was a programmer, he made a website for his local church and he was unfortunely a gamer.

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[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 28 points 5 months ago

This is the majority of Saint miracles tbh

[–] 2Password2Remember@hexbear.net 41 points 5 months ago (3 children)

jesus christ catholicism is embarrassing lol, imagine reading this and being like "yup the pope is infallible!"

Death to America

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 18 points 5 months ago

This pope is fallible because he is woke and cringe

[–] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 16 points 5 months ago

The Pope is just cultivating mass mac-concern

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 39 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I love how god won’t directly intervene to help you because of muh free will. But he will select one (1) random suffering individual in a random poor village and alleviate one (1) piece of suffering. Very epic

[–] Tachanka@hexbear.net 22 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

motherfuckers will sincerely say with zero self awareness that God "saved them" because they survived like a natural disaster or mass shooting where everyone else died.

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 38 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

This kid is NOT my patron saint. The patron saint of the internet is pro-gamer FAZE_DARKSIDE who holds the highest k/d ratio in Counter Strike history.

[–] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml 37 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Blasphemous apropriation. Internet is the first true manifestation of Machine God's will to His chosen people and His avatar, therefore the first coming of Omnissiah.

[–] REEEEvolution@lemmygrad.ml 9 points 5 months ago
[–] Cummunism@hexbear.net 34 points 5 months ago

do they say how many people had a relic and still died? im gonna bet noooooo. i fuckin hate catholicism.

[–] Big_Bob@hexbear.net 24 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I can confirm. I once touched his dakimakura and no woman has ever bothered me again. Miracles are real, folks. Praise jesus!

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[–] Black_Mald_Futures@hexbear.net 23 points 5 months ago
[–] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 21 points 5 months ago

When I die, I'm donating all my old socks and dirty underwear to the Catholic Church to be archived and distributed as relics.

[–] ClimateChangeAnxiety@hexbear.net 20 points 5 months ago

Okay so I’m all for the idea that you only get declared a saint after death. That makes sense to me. And I’m fine with determining posthumously that things they did were in fact miracles.

What I’m not cool with is the miracles happening posthumously. I feel like you should have to perform the miracles while alive, it has to be a semi-conscious act. You can’t just say “Oh my blindness was healed and it’s because of a random dead Italian kid”

[–] Big_Bob@hexbear.net 20 points 5 months ago

Moot is the demiurge. No, I will not explain.

[–] Barx@hexbear.net 15 points 5 months ago

I love how the church puts on a big show about "verifying" all of its canonizations as if they aren't just making stuff up and believing urban legends.

[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)
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[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Why were they keeping his shit as relics before he was a saint?

[–] Redcuban1959@hexbear.net 24 points 5 months ago

Because he was 15 and his parents weren't going to throw their dead child stuff in the trash. Besides, he was really close with the Catholic Church and even made a website for his local church. People, even non-catholics, really liked him because it seems he was a pretty chill boy. Because of that before becoming a saint, he was titled a Servant of God and worthy of veneration.

[–] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 13 points 5 months ago

Carlo Acutis

~~Car~~lo ~~A~~cutis

lo cutis

picard-direct-action

[–] footfaults@hexbear.net 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The founding of the Mechanicus cult

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[–] kristina@hexbear.net 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Dudes got fucking Nike's on, does that mean the pope endorses groping a pair of Nike's on a corpses feet to get healed? Deeply unserious religion

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