this post was submitted on 30 Oct 2023
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New evidence confirms COVID-19 vaccines are overwhelmingly safe (www.theglobeandmail.com)
submitted 10 months ago by L4s@lemmy.world to c/technology@lemmy.world
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New evidence confirms COVID-19 vaccines are overwhelmingly safe::More than 38 million COVID-19 vaccine doses have been administered in Ontario as of Oct. 8, with 23,002 reports of adverse reactions, an incidence of 0.06 per cent, Public Health Ontario says

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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 161 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Okay, if you say so, because I died six months after getting the first one like they said I would. Now I'm a magnetic 5G zombie.

[–] TragicNotCute@lemmy.world 34 points 10 months ago (2 children)

What brand of vaccine did you get? I definitely get the 5G orders from George Soros and such (pretty standard stuff), and I was already dead inside before the jab, but I didn’t get any magnetism.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 23 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I got whichever one is most convenient to me winning the discussion about how vaccines are bad and give you 100 autisms.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 7 points 10 months ago

Wait, only 100?

That's not enough for savant powers!

Better get extra.

[–] T00l_shed@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

You should get a refund then, im so magnetic it's not funny.

[–] kescusay@lemmy.world 17 points 10 months ago (1 children)

How's your reception?

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 24 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Being a zombie, I no longer need a phone. But my Bill Gates microchip ensures good reception for all around me whose brains I am not eating.

[–] photonic_sorcerer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

You're very articulate for a zombie

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago

It's the Bill Gates microchip.

[–] Hamartiogonic@sopuli.xyz 3 points 10 months ago

Best of all, the chip also doubles as an electric guitar pedal.

[–] gkd@lemmy.ml 9 points 10 months ago

Should have turned your phone off during the national alert test.

[–] Hamartiogonic@sopuli.xyz 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Did 99% of the population also die? I must have missed that.

[–] LillyPip@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

That 99% lived in Canada and went to a different school. They were supermodels. You didn’t know them.

[–] Hamartiogonic@sopuli.xyz 4 points 10 months ago

Ok, so I’m living in the last safe place on earth. Everywhere else the vaccine killed just about everyone but in my area nothing happened.