traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
Welcome to /c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns, an anti-capitalist meme community for transgender and gender diverse people.
-
Please follow the Hexbear Code of Conduct
-
Selfies are not permitted for the personal safety of users.
-
No personal identifying information may be posted or commented.
-
Stay on topic (trans/gender stuff).
-
Bring a trans friend!
-
Any image post that gets 200 upvotes with "banner" or "rule 6" in the title becomes the new banner.
-
Posts about dysphoria/trauma/transphobia should be NSFW tagged for community health purposes.
-
When made outside of NSFW tagged posts, comments about dysphoria/traumatic/transphobic material should be spoiler tagged.
-
Arguing in favor of transmedicalism is unacceptable. This is an inclusive and intersectional community.
-
While this is mostly a meme community, we allow most trans related posts as we grow the trans community on the fediverse.
If you need your neopronouns added to the list, please contact the site admins.
Remember to report rulebreaking posts, don't assume someone else has already done it!
Matrix Group Chat:
Suggested Matrix Client: Cinny
https://rentry.co/tracha (Includes rules and invite link)
WEBRINGS:
๐ณ๏ธโโง๏ธ Transmasculine Pride Ring ๐ณ๏ธโโง๏ธ
โฌ ๏ธ Left ๐ณ๏ธโโง๏ธ๐ณ๏ธโ๐ Be Crime Do Gay Webring ๐ณ๏ธโโง๏ธ๐ณ๏ธโ๐ Right โก๏ธ
view the rest of the comments
oh waow
Why would the brain do this, it causes us distress so surely we should not?
But for me, at this point I get more anxious about ambiguity than anything else. There are situations where it's like, if I could even tell clear-cut whether it was my fault, I could deal with it better. I tend to get huge spikes of anxiety when there's no sensory input, socially, like I don't get any feedback...
This is awesome, love to see it. There is no "right number of times" for anything social related! Message people, cause problems โจ For me it is also hard because, uh I genuinely annoy people a lot of the time, literally I talk too much. That might sound like an eyerolling anxiety self hate thing, but I talk at extreme lengths to the point people have just quit in the past. So Idk, I just wish I could go to bed without my brain wondering if I've fucked up, not sure...
Brains are confusing
I relate to this so much, and I find that I have to rely on myself to interpret things. Which is, like, terrifying, because if I misread things I might feel super embarrassed. I'm very much used to relying on someone else's opinions
Sadly I am pretty much the opposite, I am quiet to the point that I can't engage and others don't know how and neither do I. It's frustrating because I can't hate myself but also, hot damn I would like to change this about myself. I wish I had better insight for this specifically
No kidding...
I have very much got into the habit of just not making any assumptions or interpretations beyond the very literal. I must be infuriating to talk to but lol
If you find a really weird special interest that you really like, maybe it'll drive you to talk more? :3 The vast majority of my social motivation is talking about weird stuff, Idk.
Interpreting is annoying
Beyond the core assumption that people don't want to talk to me, I have avoided interpreting to an intense degree, in that if people don't talk to me I assume that means they just don't want to. If I initiate a conversation, and the other person doesn't initiate the next time, I am left in analysis paralysis and we often don't talk again. It's like I want someone to run in and slam the "Executive Function" button for me.
I grew up watching reality TV so sometimes I use my imagination and pretend I'm in a confessional on an island in Panama, or whatever. It's a framing device for me and only me lol
I have interests that I go nuts for, I just get caught in this assumption that people don't want to hear about it. Because if I talk and nobody responds, I get very caught up in why people didn't respond. I'm fighting years of post-game analysis every time I say something and wonder what people think. I want to understand so I can improve. But the world just at large doesn't care if I specifically understand things, so...
yeag
Aaaaaaaaaaa me shouts to every connection that died due to this!!!
Yeah, I mean it's kind of like this. I can tell you with complete certainty that probably 90% of the time when I post long rambling yapsessions about some weird novella nobody has ever heard of, nobody cares. I'm just going off into the void most times, and if someone replies that's rad. There aren't any negative consequences for it, so why not right?
People "don't respond" for such a wide variety of different reasons, and I can tell because I've had people here speak up to the effect that they enjoy reading my trash (???) which I greatly appreciate, and which also surprised me because they'd never said anything to me once, lol. Our minds catastrophise about the worst possible reasons but I find it's usually pretty mundane stuff. If anybody hates my guts for being an annoying yapper they have not made it known :3
Oh totally, and for a long time, "not responding" had a ton of negative baggage for me, like I'm knowingly being ignored or something, which is rarely the case. I try to view it more neutrally, accept that I have the same freedom to respond to others (or not) as anybody.
Pretty much how I view it too, it's hard to detach in that way but y'know, better for you.
Same same.. Its so difficult. The ambiguity is killer...
YES. I am working on internalising this.
If there's a part of being autistic I actually truly loathe, it's this. Being incapable of reading social cues or whatever on its own is not awful, but it leaves me drowned in anxiety sometimes and aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
You just send people however many messages you want, you just talk to em a lot and it's great y'know... Their inboxes full, their minds full, with our incredible yapping...
yes. yes... sigh... it is such a struggle at times. makes me very glad for the little breaks I get from being a Human Adult(tm) when I can just become a lesser creature and everything can be simple.
Also, text conversations can be helpful too.
fuck yes I love this framing. my messages are a gift lmao, why would any reasonable person be upset about them? I never feel bad receiving messages from people, so this really should be one of those "treat yourself how you treat others" moments...
god I wish that were me
Oh yeah I mean, imagine talking to people irl???
Exactly this You're gettin it now!
aw i hope you can get there too
tbf most of the people i talk to IRL are ND in some fashion or are like work people and i'm very comfortable in that role so
i sure have changed a lot in the past couple of months!
Shall see...
This would rock, Idk where to get people irl like I find online honestly..
All good changes! Exciting tbh โจ