traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
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I'm like a dormouse or something. If I even think I might get in somebody's way by speaking or doing what I'm about to do I will freeze. Being interrupted literally gets me so heated, it's like, "You wanna talk over me? That's gonna be really easy because I'm never speaking again". I shut up and it bothers me for the rest of the day.
On the flip side, I want permission. I've spooked people by dumping info that I thought they were ready to hear. So the idea of dropping some big pieces of info and upsetting somebody accidentally stresses me out. I want to know that it's safe to say what I want to say.
I'd speak with confidence if I knew I didn't have to worry about having nobody. When opening up is the reason that people leave, but they never have the nerve to tell you, that is where I lose trust, because actions don't match words. Is opening up a bad thing to do if it pushes people away?
I do know this feel, I remember it. I'm trying to think of a more productive answer than "FUCK EM" but like...
You really can't "get in someone's way" by posting on bearsite. There's also generally very little risk to leaving big many-paragraph thoughts in megathreads too. You didn't need to delete your posts, y'know. I know EXACTLY how rejection sensitivity is, but you should not hit that delete button.
It's tougher in an interpersonal, one-on-one setting, but for me... if somebody ghosts because I left a buncha thoughs and opened up, seriously... fuck 'em. They were not worth your time. I've not had much experience with people doing that, although I also only talk in online trans spaces and hexbear, lol lmao.
I feel silly. I don't remember most of what I wrote.
I feel such a frayed connection to my pre-COVID friends. I thought they understood me, and am still so mad that they took my compassion and ran. And I'd still be so excited to talk to them. I still wait for them.
But I don't know how to start something new. I've always fallen into a group that lasts exactly as long as our time in school together. Everyone, by my estimation, just talks like they already know each other. But I don't know them, so why would I do that?
rejection
There's a hell of a lot that feels like rejection. Being spoken over makes me feel rejected. I feel rejected if the person only half hears me. I feel rejected if I mention something and we talk about it briefly then the subject changes. There are situations where socially things are "fine" but I feel like I'm being completely shut down by minute social cues that demonstrate a lack of interestI felt that way when my ex and her partner bounced, Idk school friends are very whatever, fuck them too. I'm not really good at starting social groups or whatever either, I don't really have one in here. I just yap until people talk back to me, and aside from one or two cases where I was incredibly lucky enough that someone reached out to me to DM, I only know people from that yapping. But also like, we are talking right now and it's fine, you and I, right?
rejection
Most or all of those things aren't rejection though, that sounds like your Rejection Sensitivity Disorder is way jacked up. I had this problem, uh I started taking gabapentin about it, lol.Say it with me now, social cues are fake, they aren't reliable, different phrases or actions or faces mean different things to different people at different times because neurotypicals are fuckers and they make shit up.
Wait, fr I really need to figure out my own rejection sensitivity...
Ask two neueotypicals what qualifies as a social cue meaning which and you will get dramatically different answers. They're fucking faking it, it's just a hodgepodge of non-specific rules they all implicitly agree to pretend are real.
I recommend working on RSD stuff, goes hard :)
well fucking said, a+ post