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I quit if I'm not enjoying something, have little interest or feel I'm not getting anything out of it, but I can be engaged and hyperfocused if I do. I can engage with things I have little interest in but really depends on why I would get engaged in the first place. I always say what I mean, and I flat won't talk to someone I don't want to, I will verbally shut down if I feel that I don't want to talk.
I don't regret anything socially unless I upset someone by accident. Which I try to avoid. But I don't worry about what other people think.
I will not engage with things where I can lose track of time if I get engaged.
I've learned how to work around how my brain works.
Absolutely! Just like me fr.
I wouldn't be rude and just drop a conversation, I would take my leave. But I don't engage if I don't feel I need to talk. I only talk when I feel compelled to or when spoken to.
Ah, but I’m Pathological Demand Avoidant, so if I want to stop I can’t. I’m way too honest in some ways but I am also perpetually sarcastic and verbally impulsive. If someone wants me to talk and I really don’t want to (which is kind of rare?) I’m miserable.
Wish I knew what those were consistently because I spend a lot of time chasing those tunnels. It’s the time I forget my anxieties and understimulation. Today I’ve spent a lot of time reading about autism and stuff while sort of paying attention to my surroundings so my focus isn’t that narrow?
I would say it ain't happening and again flat out not engage lol If someone made demands of me they would be sorely disappointed, I am not a people pleaser, I don't need people to validate my existence. Very few bother with me or engage with me on any level to where I would want to bother with. I won't engage with anything that makes me miserable.
I know what I enjoy so if I don't want to lose my time I won't engage with those specific activities. Reading would be one where I can read a book in a day if I feel like it because it would be my sole focus. I can forget everything around me and be so focused I can't hear.
Ditto for the most part. My family has ADHD and can be very draining at times tho.
I can get into a flow at times, but to read a lot is a very intentional activity that can be difficult, and my ADHD gets mad I can’t finish things in two seconds or am at least a notably fast reader (I know hyperlingual people and I’m kinda normal speed). My surroundings mostly vanish when my thoughts and internal echolalia are particularly loud or if I’m on social media or something (my most frequent hyperfocus).
Yeah I can see how that could make things difficult.
I take my time in all things, but I can be fast at what I do too. Depends on the activity, I'm thorough in everything I do. I can disappear so to speak if I'm hyperfocused into something to where I don't hear anything else and need nudged out, can be annoying for me and anyone else so I try not to get too deep into my work.. I don't do social media, I do my own things.
I can’t stand slowness unless it’s in the form of rebellion or being fast otherwise stresses me out. My thoroughness depends on the mood.
null posts online
In seriousness my habits aren’t great but unless I’m really compulsive they do the job of helping me cope. I should read more, but that’s not as spoon fed.
I wouldn't say I'm slow, I just take my time. I understand the need to rush and such and how that can affect people needing to change topics or activities.
This is the only place I post online, before hexbear, 1 other server about a year ago on discord, about a 5 year gap to another server, and before that was probably around 2001 and those spaces are long gone lol
I just like doing my own thing and act on whim basically. Though I have routines I follow and I live with my wife so a lot would be around her too.
Same :3
for me it depends on the reading...
someone is making me read it? hell no, i can't even open the book (i couldn't finish college due to this...)
it's too cishet? uggh, i'll go super slowly
it's queer, involves vampires (apparently?)? 1.5 books per day
Real. Tho occasionally I can get into what I’m forced to read. I’m not reading anything on my own time unless it feels valuable. I’d probably enjoy it but most fiction doesn’t seem to have as much intellectual value, thus I can’t justify it against impatience. I was once the kid who the teacher had to tell “put away the book” to though.
i hope you don't mind me asking ... i think that the times i've enjoyed my life the most are the times i've lost track of time and gotten hyperfixated on something interesting. is that not your experience?
Oh I enjoy things but I'm aware that I can lose myself in things if I enjoy it and like to not disappear into them. So I restrict myself to some degree.
wait, i think i follow! sorry i missed "if I don't want to lose my time"
I tend to read a lot of naughty words too because of my dyslexia but sometimes I miss words too, don't worry about it ^^
i read this a while back https://emergentdivergence.com/2023/06/06/what-is-meerkat-mode-and-how-does-it-relate-to-audhd/
when I am at work i spent most of my time like this because i have so many people to deal with, i can't engage with things very deeply and i was feeling bad about it for a while. if i'm afraid i'm going to be interrupted (fuck Slack) then i won't be able to sink into that deep focus that i need to be productive, so i mostly stay on the surface except in rare situations.
it sucks tbh i miss writing code
edit: actually reading this again I think a better descriptor for my daily life is what Annie Kotowicz calls "flexible mode" i'll add a quote in a minute
edit 2: added quote from "What I Mean When I Say I'm Autistic" by Annie Kotowicz (highly recommended, short-ish book imo)
Omg Ty. That sounds about right and I’ll check the further reading.
Have one task for work I do most months and it requires several hours and lots of cross-checking things and I can only meaningfully do it if in a more focus-mode. Which usually means I choose a single night and stay up really late working on it at home. Usually I work evenings, except during the summer, so its not an issue if I stay up til 6am. Except I'm also expected to do it right at the end of my summer schedule before transiting back to evening schedule... which means I just blow it off and do it late every year.