this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2024
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Are westerners being robbed of TP when we get the hollow rolls? Is communism the right path after all?

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[–] drathvedro@lemm.ee 118 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (10 children)

Don't go to Russia. Every once in a while you can encounter this atrocity. Yes, it has holes right out of the roll, no perforation whatsoever and not even a hole that you could hang it on and therefore outer layers are always dirty. And, of course, feels like a sandpaper, tears when wiping, but stretches when you actually try to get a piece. Please don't tell me that this exists outside of Russia, that'd be way to much assrash for this world.

[–] pyre@lemmy.world 97 points 2 months ago (1 children)

when you take brutalism so far that your toilet paper looks like concrete

[–] KellysNokia@lemmy.world 34 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 23 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] ChapulinColorado@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)

It’s just a little asbestos, don’t worry about it comrade!

[–] sjmarf@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 months ago
[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Fireproof toilet paper, truly innovative.

[–] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 66 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Don’t go to Russia.

There's a very tall list of reasons to not go to Russia and their toilet papers isn't very high on it.

[–] BambiDiego@lemmy.world 32 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I don't know...

My list goes:

  1. Their toilet paper

  2. I might criticize Putin

  3. I might criticize the government

[–] drathvedro@lemm.ee 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (4 children)

Well, I wouldn't worry about 2 and 3 that much. It's just that as a foreigner, especially if you are from the US, you will most definitely fall under the surveillance of FSB and the cops will look at you twice, but they're not paid half-decent enough to actually give a shit and do their job properly. They might harass you here and there but if you don't do anything stupid like protesting in red square or doing selfies in front of military bases, then they'll have nothing against you. I imagine that's not that much worse than living in the US under CIA's umbrella and trigger happy cops. Other than that, it's not nearly an extreme hellhole like NK, Afghanistan or Syria that people make it sound like. In fact, you can get by in Moscow or St. Petersburg without a guide or translator just fine. I'd rather advise to watch out for the tourist traps(the usual), and to avoid getting out of the city limits and into the suburbs because of the much increased crime levels.

Ah, and put the fact that for every dollar you spend there, you put 20 cents straight into Putin's pocket into that list...

And also that you'd probably need a visa and it's a hassle...

And that you'd probably need a Russian friend to get you hooked up with the basics and avoid going through the bureaucracy - like with currency exchange, credit card, carrier plan, etc...

Also that weather is rather harsh there...

And also that it's probably the dirtiest country on earth because city planners didn't zone out lawns and parks properly therefore the mud gets spread absolutely everywhere...

And that internet is half-broken, with half sites censored while the others block everyone from Russian IP's because sanctions...

And that Ukraine might not let you in afterwards...

And that you'd for sure be questioned by your homecountry's intelligence services...

And that's about all that I can think of.

[–] Serinus@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And you'd likely be held prisoner as a trading chip for Russian murderers.

[–] drathvedro@lemm.ee 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Well, it that case you're referring to, the guy was actually snooping around which would fall into doing stupid things. But, just in case, just this once, here's a free get out of jail free card: If you ever got caught just say that you're an orthodox christian who came to Russia to enjoy based traditional culture in this bastion of anti-woke-ism and family values, and complain about some dumb shit like how western liberal agenda prevents you from hitting your wife or something. They can't put you on TV while you are in prison, so they'll have to let you go.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

But I saw Mr Bald and Bankrupt do it several times! And he only went to jail twice!

[–] drathvedro@lemm.ee 1 points 2 months ago

He did use the get out of jail card, though, so it's all good. But I would advise to not try use it more than once.

[–] jollyrogue@lemmy.ml 2 points 2 months ago

Does the FSB have the good toilet paper?

That would be helpful.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago
  1. Might accodentally fly my drone into a cracking vessel at an oil refinery. Whoops.
[–] acchariya@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That's because soft toilet paper is too gay for Russia.

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 months ago

Fellas, is it gay to use tp that doesn't hurt?

[–] brachypelmasmithi@lemm.ee 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You see these in Poland every now and then, just with an actual central hole. I remember seeing these in my school, we used to call it srajtaśma ("shit tape" is the best translation I can think of), and it was just as bad as you described it. It also had a very particular smell to it.

[–] drathvedro@lemm.ee 5 points 2 months ago

Funny how I could probably understand what you mean if you said it without translation. Sounds very simillar to срать тесьма, which is also shit tape, though it's not a correct grammatically in Russian. To my knowledge, we don't have a specific name for it, but if there were I'd say it'd either be студенческая/солдатсткая (student/soldier) paper because they're so poor, or жоподёрка (the assripper)

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I encountered this in Ukraine, often combined with those toilets in the floor and/or extremely rickety, extremely "well-loved" outhouses. Once, we stopped in what appeared to be a stranger's yard and my hosts advised we were at the rest stop. I asked where the restroom was. They all started laughing. They are a hearty bunch.

[–] drathvedro@lemm.ee 9 points 2 months ago

The one that's just like a concrete block with few holes in the floor? God that shit's terrifying. Grew up in Russia and luckily never had to use one of those as they were never the only option. But if I had to, I'd rather shit my pants instead. Had to use shoddy garden toilets, squat toilets and toilets with no stalls before a few times each, all were awful experiences, but this thing, it combines all three for the ultimate discomfort.

[–] Beldarofremulak@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] drathvedro@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago

Very close to it, yeah, like a very thin and shitty one. Doesn't stretch as much nor is as sturdy, but the texture is spot on.

[–] LoreleiSankTheShip@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 months ago

These exist and are widely used in rural Romania. Even public institutions like schools and town halls use these there. They're not the worst you can get though. About 10-15 years ago you'd also stumble across houses that had no toilet paper, just newspapers. You were supposed to wipe with those. Not a fun experience!

[–] manuallybreathing@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 months ago

Its literally tissue paper, I think youre being pretty dramatic

looks like itd be more ecofriendly because its mot bleached, and its not shipping around with a heap of empty space for the (now i think about it) oversized cardboard tube

[–] sanpedropeddler@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago

My public school in Louisiana had very similar toilet paper. I'm not sure if its actually the same, but it certainly looks like it.

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 months ago

What the hell??? This can barely even be called "toilet paper".