As a reminder, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2024
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
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sad
No longer feel good. Literally what the fuck does my brain even want from me.god this just fucking hurts, today had been so good. I can't pin my sadness on anything either. I'm not overwhelmed with dysphoria, or envy, or fear. I'm just really sad.
unsolicited advice
Try to remember that everything that you’re experiencing is subjective and not “you” because your mind works on its own while you are just a perceiver. I find that things feel much worse when my mind cares about them and thinks they’re bad. This is OCD, but it’s also universal maybe. I pay attention to my poor posture: my back hurts. I think about my eating as wrong and judge my hunger or overfullness and try to figure out how to fix it: my stomach feels worse.I highly recommend non-judgmental awareness. Pay attention to your feelings and thoughts without judging them or trying to change them. When you think of pain as a bad thing and automatically react it hurts. When you feel pain and just think of it as an interesting feeling it’s more bearable. I was listening to this cool podcast called Shoeless in South Dakota earlier and this guy was talking about how he just felt more depressed and anxious when he identified with his depressed and anxious thoughts and tried to think himself out of them. When he just thinks of depression and anxiety as things that are there with him it’s more bearable and he can see how to escape it.
It’s not super easy, but it works.
more sad, si, sh, drugs
I genuinely have to do something. I am being drug down into quicksand and I'm just bringing everyone down with me. I'm having suicidal fantasies. This is not working. I am in agony.Trying to decide between getting a rubber band and seeing if that will make me feel better or if I should smoke weed. Leaning towards weed although I'm not a fan of how often I've been doing that. I know you can't help I just want to be heard.
spoiler
That’s just what your mind says. Another exercise that may or may not help is taking a second to imagine the best possible scenario. Picture a scenario, however fantastical, where you end up the perfect girl you were always meant to be in a lovely queer community, and everything goes extremely well. It’s just a thought, equally worth consideration as your negative ones. If it’s too absurd to believe in your pessimistic state, maybe your worst doomer nightmare isn’t realistic either. I just read about this yesterday so idk if it works. Anyway, if ranting like this helps you, that’s fine.