this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2024
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[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 20 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The strong overlap between autism and being trans is one of the great gifts bestowed upon this world by an unseen force.

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I've thought about why, and Ive landed on a couple things but I still dont really know. Firstly, people with autism seem way more in tune with their inner world even if some have trouble expressing it - I took a long time before realizing I was trans and part of that was cause I was able to disassociate so completely and also just never think about my inner world at all through work, school, a partner etc. Secondly, on the whole people with autism are way more willing to smash through social constructs especially harmful ones - it follows to me that they'd be way more willing to break the strict gender binary you're not allowed to cross compare to people without autism.

[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 11 points 4 months ago (2 children)

lea-think I am dead curious about "way more in tune with their inner world" means exactly, I wanna know more, some examples perhaps. I am sure as fuck in tune with my inner world, but ayo?

The "more willing to smash social norms" thing has always rubbed me slightly wrong. Like yes sure, but I think equally a lot of autistic people literally do not grasp that social norms are a thing. A sort of obliviousness due to atypical brain stuff, you know. Sometimes I legit have to explain that these things exist to people c: Equally I have seen other autistics be absolutely crushed by ableist norms and social norms, pushed into a box of heavy masking. So I don't really buy that autistic people are just more prone to social norms being smashed, reminds me idly of the stereotype of the brash drag queen emboldening the quiet townsfolk, lol.

However, it does play into the Feinberg-ian, Gender Accelerationist observation of cisheteronormative patriarchy being a system that is created, upheld and enforced - it just doesn't make intuitive sense to autistic people, because ofc the powers that be structured it all with neurotypical social norms in mind. So "NOTHING IS GENDERED AAAAA" freakouts like I had or other fundamental non-understandings of gender shit by other autistics make perfect sense to me power-genius

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 11 points 4 months ago (3 children)

A couple friends of mine who have autism seem to have a deeper understanding of their emotions and thought processes than I do, and the patients I've met with ASD as a nurse also have better insight in terms of their mental health - even people with very "severe" or profound autism, the nonverbal ones, the ones who dont do a lot of their own ADLs seem to have an understanding of what is going on its just the communication to me or the other person that is broken down. Whether that's cause all of the above have done a lot of therapy though, I don't really know. It's just what I've noticed.

I don't think people with autism are necessarily ignorant of social norms, not what I'm saying. Just, from what I've seen in my life, more willing to break ones that hurt - themselves or other people. But otherwise, yeah I've met plenty of people in the spectrum who don't seem to be aware of various social norms but honestly a lot of the norms kinda suck so I'm on there side lol.

And yeah I'm definitely not saying autism gives you superpowers or whatever, I'm sure you know it's just another way of being and some people with it kinda suck and some people with it don't. It's just, in terms of being transgender, something I've noticed and ruminated on and this is where I've landed at the moment. I'm totally open to being corrected

A couple friends of mine who have autism seem to have a deeper understanding of their emotions and thought processes than I do, and the patients I’ve met with ASD as a nurse also have better insight in terms of their mental health

Interesting. I consider myself probably autistic, but I feel like I'm a lot more disconnected from my emotions than average. Granted, I think that's largely because of ADHD and dysphoria that I was trying to hide from myself by avoiding being alone with just my thoughts; always doing something else, even if just listening to music to avoid it, and dealing with dissociation.

Whether that’s cause all of the above have done a lot of therapy though

Could also be a difference. I never have (outside a court-ordered one during parent's divorce, but that was largely about figuring out custody and I had no interest in engaging with her).

I don’t think people with autism are necessarily ignorant of social norms

I think often social norms are often perceived as more arbitrary rules to be learned and something to follow if there is fear of social punishment for violating the norms rather than any sort of attachment to the norms themselves. Whereas other people will sometimes get hung up on the norms themselves.

Also, there can be significant misunderstandings. Like, assuming people who perform their gender are making fun of gender because we always saw gender as a joke and didn't realize other people didn't see it that way. So, technically not completely ignorant that the social norm of gender exists, but not much better.

It can lead to confusion about whether something is just an arbitrary social norm or an actual thing. Throughout middle school, I wondered if sexual attraction was just made up and people pretended to experience it because it was socially expected of them; I considered it more likely that people actually experienced it, but couldn't rule it out as a legitimate possibility, especially since dating at that age largely does seem to be the result of people trying to follow social norms rather than a genuine interest in dating.

[–] magi@hexbear.net 6 points 4 months ago

A couple friends of mine who have autism seem to have a deeper understanding of their emotions

I have always been in touch with emotions and had a strong inner sense of self. I have long internal ruminations and analysis of most things.

When I was a kid and knew I was different I would ruminate on why and observe others but not feel like interacring. I'd ruminate on my sexuality and how I view things. I'd be non verbal and sit and contemplate the meaning of things feom a very young age. Some of my earliest ruminations would be over my sexual anatomy and if it would be changed for instamce.

I was typically treated like the weirdo who didn't interact with anyone and i'd sit and play alone, all that time I'd spend on ruminations and theorising on my self and trying to understand others.

I never learned social cues or how to mask because I never interacted with others on a basic level. Most of what i've learned is self taught.

I look at autiam as having some brain rewiring like a completely different way of looking at things and undersramding. I am disconnected from emotions more than others, like almost zen like unless something breaks through that.. I am also an empath I can feel emotions from people too like i'd feel someones anger and feel cut up and agitated or sadness and I'd feel deep sorrow, like almost physical effects from emotions but these emotions are the other persons not my own.

The disconnect also affects my sexual attraction and being on the ace spectrum too.

I used to think growing up everyone lived in their head like I did..

[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 6 points 4 months ago

and the patients I've met with ASD as a nurse also have better insight in terms of their mental health

Aw yiss aw fuck yee snom

people with autism are necessarily ignorant of social norms, not what I'm saying.

Maybe I am, though...? This actually is kinda just like me fr fr i-love-not-thinking Also if I think about it for two seconds, (was tired soz) I guess the stuff I described could still play i to what you're talking about, I see I see. I guess I just felt like I've heard the Social Norms thing a lot and it's a bit oversimplifying...

Fr where are my autism superpowers... kitty-cri-texas It is interesting to consider the potential reasons or crossplay fwiw. Me, I am just a simple trans autism appreciator is all bunny-vibe

[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 8 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I'm sure you'll get a better response from her, but I feel like its because I think about it all the time. I'm always thinking, about myself, about how people view me, my own thoughts and why I think them/feel the way I do. After I think something, I always ask myself why and try to figure out why I am that way. That has to effect a person ~~the effect is I'm tired~~. Plus, getting exhausted from socializing too much gives me a lot of time to think. I have always been described as self aware.

And yea that's not how my autism manifests cheems

[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 8 points 4 months ago

I guess so, huh? Y'know that kinda mirrors how cis people do not think gender but trans people think gender. This is good, I like this, even if I am also tired cheems thank u eggnog

[–] QueerCommie@hexbear.net 3 points 4 months ago

this (except a significant amount of my time is spent researching philosophy and stuff but that feeds into my understanding of myself)