A couple friends of mine who have autism seem to have a deeper understanding of their emotions

I have always been in touch with emotions and had a strong inner sense of self. I have long internal ruminations and analysis of most things.

When I was a kid and knew I was different I would ruminate on why and observe others but not feel like interacring. I'd ruminate on my sexuality and how I view things. I'd be non verbal and sit and contemplate the meaning of things feom a very young age. Some of my earliest ruminations would be over my sexual anatomy and if it would be changed for instamce.

I was typically treated like the weirdo who didn't interact with anyone and i'd sit and play alone, all that time I'd spend on ruminations and theorising on my self and trying to understand others.

I never learned social cues or how to mask because I never interacted with others on a basic level. Most of what i've learned is self taught.

I look at autiam as having some brain rewiring like a completely different way of looking at things and undersramding. I am disconnected from emotions more than others, like almost zen like unless something breaks through that.. I am also an empath I can feel emotions from people too like i'd feel someones anger and feel cut up and agitated or sadness and I'd feel deep sorrow, like almost physical effects from emotions but these emotions are the other persons not my own.

The disconnect also affects my sexual attraction and being on the ace spectrum too.

I used to think growing up everyone lived in their head like I did..