traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
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staring at my steam collection of 441 games, and I have nothing I want to play
maybe today is the day I finally try to understand Caves of Qud
Just play Stardew Valley tbh
I have played it far too much, and then I get bogged down in the optimisation of it all. I find it funny that stardew is seen as this relaxing game, where it has all these time and optimisation constraints to it that are an immutable pressure to me that I cannot let go of
Maybe its just me, but I've never gotten bogged down by optimizations. I have plans for the seasons and days, but I don't know... it doesn't wear on me. I like it
Must not be optimizing enough.
I can't just no thoughts head empty cozy it. like I know Hailey's birthday is in the first month and I have to talk to her every day and give her a daffodil on that day to optimise making friends with her early. then there's the fish or crops that are needed for the bundles that can only be gotten in X season. every moment I am just chilling is a moment I am not doing the checklist, with guilt when I miss that. and so the anxiety of that just eats at me until I exhaust myself. Tomboymoder and I played stardew together before, and she can attest to the fact I am on the ball to a neurotic state with no chill in that game
Between steam and retro+arcade we have roughly 25,000 games to choose from, I'm never really without a choice but wanting to play can be the obstacle to me playing
that's the main thing. I have games here that interest me, I just don't really want to play any of theses right now. the worst thing is, all of my favourite games have been games I go 'eh, don't really wanna play that right now', until I force myself to play it and then I adore it. I just have this mental barrier to doing things sometimes
I don't get choice paralysis, I treat the games library like a wine cellar and choose games like what flavour I want today or what game I want to complete. But I also lack motivation at times and go through spells where I go on hiatus, I think it's executive disfunction interfering with my enjoyment. I try to move on to reading or some other hobby or something when I feel like that. (currently in that mode) Like I can read a book in a day if I feel like reading.. but it also happens with most hobbies. In the end I either end up binging videos on youtube head empty kind of feeling or something else while I feel like that
I feel like I have access to so many games that it's too hard to commit to one so I end up doing randomizers or challenge runs of the same games I've played dozens of times before
If I'm familiar with a game I find it hard to go back to it and play it, especially if I've played for like 300 hours or something so I would need some kind of refresh of the game or romhack/mod to replay.
I've seen so much of New Vegas that I doubt I'll ever go back and play it again at this point for example
My partner is like that. After completing a game (or if they get tired of it) they'll never touch it again. I, on the other hand, have some games I've played so many times that I've completely memorized the maps, enemy and item layout, frame timings, and other minutia.
The two types of neurodivergents
I think it's the length of the game too. Like I'll go try to speedrun castlevania 1 for example even though I have played it loads, but i can do that within an hour.
To were I know the dark souls trilogy like the back of my hand and don't feel like going back for.a long time like I spent about 1000 hours with that trilogy lol
I get that. I generally don't replay long games very often, usually I pick stuff that can be done under 3 hours max with the exception of FF games which I've replayed many times despite the length and will definitely replay again because I'm a hopeless fangirl.
Last time I tried to replay Fallout 3 due to nostalgia I ended up quitting out of boredom. Even with hundreds of mods it still kinda sucks lol