I truly do not understand cishet...
The coldest take you could have around these parts 
BountifulEggnog
joined 2 years ago
Thank you for sharing. I obviously am not very far into transition at all, but this post really spoke to me, a lot of part 1 was very relatable.
When I figured it out, I wasn’t scared of being trans. That made perfect sense. But the stigma? That’s terrifying.
Absolutely. That stigma is the only thing that is holding me back.
Ghost apartment with no apparent personality? Check. Apathetic outlook on my potential and future? Check. Difficulty connecting with others on any serious level? Check and maybe still like this. Pathetically “consuming” fetish "material" late at night before ashamedly crawling into bed?
James sounds relatable too 
I'm still dependent, and (despite bad politics) he seemed pretty good up until the trans/autism stuff. Because of the dependency stuff it'd be hard to switch without coming out (because I'd want one who specializes in trans stuff, obviously). I'm not ready to come out yet and even when I do it'll probably be a wait anyway so 
it is what it is. Just unfortunate with those being the two biggest things in my life right now.
I'm not so sure about that, in a month I'm hoping to have hrt though so maybe we'll get more good gender thoughts.
Yea, sadly. Last session actually kinda hurt. He has some bad thoughts (in general) and kept misgendering me. Thank you for asking.
talking about reasons
I was very much an egg when I started, but I think I was doing it for other reasons too? Its all such a haze. Self harm, for me, has always been very complicated and involves many layers of feelings.
self hatred
This is a huge part of it for me. I think every time I've done it I've been feeling self hate. If I'm feeling bad but don't hate myself in the moment I usually push though it. Once the self hate starts its a lot harder to keep myself from it.
I'm glad you broke through! Sounds like you're in a good place.
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I started back up again recently too. I don't have advice, but I'm sorry you've returned to it.
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Not timelines but I always like seeing selfie posting too, a discord I'm in does that and always love seeing trans people bein' themselves :)
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No, it really wasn't pleasant, I struggled a lot at that point. But it was after changes had happened, if that makes sense.
That sounds really fucked. And this was before/early puberty? Dear god.
Damn but I wanted something nice for myself :kitti-cry: can you allow me at least some girl clothes?