talking about reasons
I was very much an egg when I started, but I think I was doing it for other reasons too? Its all such a haze. Self harm, for me, has always been very complicated and involves many layers of feelings.
self hatred
This is a huge part of it for me. I think every time I've done it I've been feeling self hate. If I'm feeling bad but don't hate myself in the moment I usually push though it. Once the self hate starts its a lot harder to keep myself from it.
I'm glad you broke through! Sounds like you're in a good place.
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I started back up again recently too. I don't have advice, but I'm sorry you've returned to it.
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Not timelines but I always like seeing selfie posting too, a discord I'm in does that and always love seeing trans people bein' themselves :)
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No, it really wasn't pleasant, I struggled a lot at that point. But it was after changes had happened, if that makes sense.
That sounds really fucked. And this was before/early puberty? Dear god.
Yea, I see what you mean. I was very alone for a lot of that time, so maybe most people deal with more of that stuff, socially, then I did.
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Hmm, that all makes a lot of sense to me. Especially the changes just being expected, maybe taking it a bit for granted.
I know I did. Especially given that I wouldn't have gotten blockers, I'm very grateful my issues didn't start until maybe 16~? Which was still mostly envy, idk. I honestly can't imagine how bad that fear would be if you haven't started puberty yet. Having 4chan talk you through puberty sounds terrible.
thinking about puberty (not sad though)
You know, I wonder how cis people actually process puberty.
I feel like I remember most adults/teens telling me it's rough/hard, but like, idk. I imagine they're more or less happy with the result. Obviously I can't compare it to my second puberty that much but like, I'm stoked to get my woman body. I know they don't have gender dysphoria/euphoria the same way trans people do but like, its got to be a little exciting to get your adult body that matches what you want. The only thing I can think is just like, being a kid in general is hard sometimes? Other kids can be mean?
spoiler talking about my own puberty, voice dysphoria (not sad about it rn)
I don't think my first was as traumatizing, at the time, as a lot of other trans people's. I do remember hating my voice changing, and that hatred has carried through to present day. Now I have an answer for why, but a cis person wouldn't experience that. And even though I'm trans, and had some envy at the time, I think first puberty was more or less fine for me at the time? Maybe I've blocked out feelings but I think I was very 
at that age, everything was more or less fine. My issues with puberty have come on much more recently, and I'm guessing cis people don't experience that either.
:::
The conclusion here is I don't understand the cis, and who better to ask about cis issues then a bunch of trans people.
If I'm already in can I still get one?
Are sure that's only an adhd thing 🤔 I always have a video or music going while I'm doing stuff, both is usually too much though.
Yea, sadly. Last session actually kinda hurt. He has some bad thoughts (in general) and kept misgendering me. Thank you for asking.