Please E, do not do this to me.
BountifulEggnog
joined 2 years ago
So incredibly based 
spoiler
In the end I was just an insecure kid who was afraid of male expectations.
I feel like a cis person would just accept toxic masculinity is bad and they don't have to be that way.
I'm around cis men a lot to me it seems that for them "getting your life together" mostly means getting swole and getting a better paying job and maybe building a social circle of people you hang out with regularly.
That is definitely, 100%, what they mean.
Also people reading that experience and thinking that's what being trans is makes my brain hurt a lot.
AGHHHHHHH I actually hate that so much, having to walk back sucks.
I quit if I'm not enjoying something, have little interest or feel I'm not getting anything out of it, but I can be engaged and hyperfocused if I do.
Absolutely! Just like me fr.
I flat won't talk to someone I don't want to
I don't have it in me to completely stop responding but I think people realize 
That's great! Can't wait to change my name tbh.
spoiler
That's so relatable.
What are my tasks
Oh 
mine has always said stuff like that. Sorry you're still getting treated like you were a decade ago
self harm thoughts
I wonder how cutting my arm would feel. My brain has thought it'd feel good for a long time.
I do, not as much as I wish I did but every few days I'll write down a lot of my recent thoughts.
sad, dysphoria, whatever
Feeling very dysphoric. I feel hopeless, and not understood. The si thoughts are back too, as always. My brain feels completely broken. It doesn't seem fixable.