Waow holy shit, pass please.
BountifulEggnog
joined 2 years ago
many such cases.
spoiler
girly little estrogenized penis
Thank you 
I appreciate it.
That's good advice, thank you. You aren't being insensitive at all 
spoiler even less related to what you were saying, just trauma dumping at this point (don't feel like you need to read it, just upset right now)
self harm stuff
Right now its just "I want to hurt myself". I guess we'll see how I feel tonight when I get an opportunity. Maybe I'll just smoke weed until I stop caring.
suicide
god I want a method. I don't think anything I have would work though. Its hopeless and I want to escape.
spoiler self harm thoughts
I really want to cut myself tonight. Fucking horrible body I'm trapped in. I know I'll just end up scaring it more... I just want to cut it. Honestly why do I gaf though. I already hate this body.
sad
That hopeless feeling :sadness:
suicide
I've been thinking about methods a lot. There's a few that stick out to me. I shouldn't talk about it more though, since they are just thoughts.
Feeling beautiful, looking beautiful, amazing ✨
That's where I assumed it would go 
Healthcare professionals should like, inform patients.
cute socks are a top tier want for me, hope you like them!
reflecting on things. sad, self harm, bottom dysphoria stuff
I really need tomorrow to be better for me, mentally. Today was really rough. Very dysphoric, I felt hopeless, empty, depressed. Cried a few times, cut myself.I've been accepting these past few days that I am not okay with my genitals, even though I really wanted to be. And that's just really difficult to deal with. I'm kind of a doomer, as some of you might have noticed, and this just hit really hard. How am I ever going to be able to deal with bottom surgery. How am I going to be able to afford such a thing. What do I even want done. I am not able to imagine anything else being there, to decide what would be better for me. I feel so incredibly hopeless I will ever actually be happy with down there.
The dysphoria is just constantly lingering. Masturbating is a terrible, horrible chore I have to force myself through so that thing leaves me alone (yes I have tried all the ways to do it). Waking up is similarly awful. Just wake up and cry. I can't do anything. I'm helpless. I tried very hard to deny these feelings.
Even when its not acting up its still... gross and I don't want it there. spoiler more self harm shit Cut myself earlier, first time in like a month or maybe two? I never keep track of dates that well. But it had been a while of dealing with the urges without actually doing anything. Its a much sharper tool now. I stopped when I realized how easily I damaged myself. I don't truly want to damage me, right now. I want pain. :::