Oh I loved painting my nails the first time! Hope you do put something together, that sounds very cute.
Also you really should 
I have eaten like that, not good.
BountifulEggnog
joined 2 years ago
off topic and a little sad
I really hate this vague feeling of being a burden. This has always been something I've struggled with. There really doesn't have to be a reason I feel that way, I just do.
I'm not Jewish, and Lilith has no special meaning to me, but siding with demons is very cool and I'm glad she represents all those things to you. I have wondered about what sympathetic demons exist in mythology for a while, thank you for sharing.
Cute and I love that for you two.
That's super exciting! Very happy for you.
The surgeon is kind of an asshole
That's my experience with a lot of doctors too.
Bubbly thoughts 
Thank you for that 
Thank you, I appreciate the kind replies 
reflecting on things. sad, self harm, bottom dysphoria stuff
I really need tomorrow to be better for me, mentally. Today was really rough. Very dysphoric, I felt hopeless, empty, depressed. Cried a few times, cut myself.
I've been accepting these past few days that I am not okay with my genitals, even though I really wanted to be. And that's just really difficult to deal with. I'm kind of a doomer, as some of you might have noticed, and this just hit really hard. How am I ever going to be able to deal with bottom surgery. How am I going to be able to afford such a thing. What do I even want done. I am not able to imagine anything else being there, to decide what would be better for me. I feel so incredibly hopeless I will ever actually be happy with down there.
The dysphoria is just constantly lingering. Masturbating is a terrible, horrible chore I have to force myself through so that thing leaves me alone (yes I have tried all the ways to do it). Waking up is similarly awful. Just wake up and cry. I can't do anything. I'm helpless. I tried very hard to deny these feelings.
Even when its not acting up its still... gross and I don't want it there. spoiler more self harm shit Cut myself earlier, first time in like a month or maybe two? I never keep track of dates that well. But it had been a while of dealing with the urges without actually doing anything. Its a much sharper tool now. I stopped when I realized how easily I damaged myself. I don't truly want to damage me, right now. I want pain. :::
spoiler
Thank you. A lot of it probably is my depression. Some of it is my other mental health stuff though. I remember you do