this post was submitted on 30 Mar 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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all 32 comments
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[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 44 points 5 months ago (3 children)

I think we've all had that one where you needed to push with your calves, triceps and eyelids.

[–] GBU_28@lemm.ee 40 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Push? Naw. But I've had food poisoning and you feel like you need to hold on to something nailed down.

Then, as a fun side quest, you start vomiting too. Forward lean, trashcan ahead, Jesus take the wheel

[–] Rusty@lemmy.ca 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I never had anything like this, you people need to eat more vegetables.

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 3 points 5 months ago

This is the same as the people who always suggest you drink more water without actually knowing anything about the situation.

[–] ninjan@lemmy.mildgrim.com 32 points 5 months ago

The lack of separation between the toes indicating socks stayed on and no grip marks means it could've been worse. When you get that irresistible feel that you have to remove all clothing is when you're in for a life changing experience.

[–] Nfamwap@lemmy.world 26 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Pro tip: get a small folding stool to place your feet on. Straightens out the old poo pipe

[–] nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz 17 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Isn't that what that blue thing is to the right of the toilet?

[–] eezeebee@lemmy.ca 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Nah that's a TV dinner tray

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 3 points 5 months ago

Put that io pipe to work

[–] HoustonHenry@lemmy.world 22 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I don't see anything to clench teeth on...rookie mistake!

[–] altima_neo@lemmy.zip 15 points 5 months ago

A roll of tp

[–] Jubei_K_08@lemmy.world 20 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You're all alone, scared, sweating, fuckin' leg shaking, dreading having to reach back there, and, indeed, you know it's your life on the line. I've only been on that battlefield once in my life and I gotta say, it changes you. Hopefully it also changes your diet.

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 1 points 5 months ago

I'll try to eat less norovirus in the future

[–] WhatsHerBucket@lemmy.world 17 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] GladiusB@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago

A Lemmy shit post

[–] Mr_Fish@lemmy.world 15 points 5 months ago

Bro was about to shit himself to space

[–] scarilog@lemmy.world 14 points 5 months ago

Gold title right there

[–] pyrflie@lemm.ee 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Your hands were open it can't have been too bad. Grip marks and pulled threads would have been worrying.

[–] Orbituary@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago
[–] FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today 6 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I remember when the rumbly tummy pain last hit, I was sure I was done and went to lay down in the empty tub until the pain subsided and then went back to the can for awhile. Call it half-time.

[–] dragontangram88@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Hopefully this isn’t someone testing out a new dance move. Twerking toilets does not need to be the next big TikTok event.

[–] Daxtron2@startrek.website 6 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

I take it you haven't seen skibidi toilet

[–] dragontangram88@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] Daxtron2@startrek.website 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

it's an extremely popular among late Gen z and gen alpha gmod animated series on YouTube.

[–] dragontangram88@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago

I googled it, and it’s terrifying. Bad idea to Google that before bed. Thank you for enlightening me on that. I will never look at the toilet the same way again.

[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You guys don't have a Squatty Potty?

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 6 points 5 months ago (2 children)

They have a step stool which can get the same results. I have a similar setup.

[–] slowwooderrunsdeep@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago

Hell yeah, it’s my stool stool

[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 1 points 5 months ago

Same shit (pun intended)