Get a bidet attachment for your toilet. It will change your life.
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Lemmy has a serious fiber deficiency. Y'all keep relating to bowel trouble, at first I'd make jokes about it but the actual shitposting keeps coming, now I'm just concerned.
It all goes back to that guy that didn't poop for three days. Lemmy took it as a challenge.
The chronically online do not traffic the vegetable section apparently
That's really funny :D
Also when poop knocks at the door, ANSWER! Don't keep putting it off if at all humanly possible. The longer poop sits in your colon, the drier it gets and the harder it will be to move later.
And the bidet? With the right pressure it can help knock loose those last little nuggies that you weren't able to get enough oomph behind to dislodge.
I used a bidet in Thailand and water blew up my ass so hard that it brushed my teeth.
Absolutely never again.
That's called that flossing, duh. What did you think water picks were?
And if people can't or don't want to immediately install such an attachment, because they have no way of trying out a bidet, you can also buy a travel bidet online, which basically looks like a bottle, and they're representative of the real thing, albeit not as comfortable, of course.
Took me a few days to figure out how to best sploosh myself with that bottle, but I've preferred it since then, even though I still don't have an attachment.
Eat more fiber, do more cardio, and buy a bidet.
Started taking fiber supplements (psyllium husk from Costco). The change was revelatory. Went from trying to clean peanut butter out of carpet to perfectly clean single wipes, every time. REVELATORY.
whats troubling is that this is POV
I think my cat would have the same face if he was watching me wipe for half an hour straight without giving him attention. But yeah, not a POV.
Their significant other has broke into the bathroom teary-eyed wondering how much longer they have to sit waiting with the movie paused
You're supposed to finish pooping before you wipe.
DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO
Do-Do*
Since switching to bidet, I can eat spicy food again without fear of rectalbution.
It's infuriating that it's both people being so dumb they can't understand basic grammar and people doing it because it gets more comments. Both of those things are just so shitty and disappointing.
I’ve seen it being used wrong so many times now my brain just picks the correct interpretation most of the time.
I predict the “you’re”/“your” distinction will be gone in 100 years. Maybe it’s all “you” in another 100.
There is life before the bidet, and then life after the bidet.
Brown brown brown, red.
Pruritus ani, aka "polished anus syndrome".
There's a lot that can cause it, but sanding the skin off with toilet paper is definitely on the list.
worst Harry Potter spell.
I legit think those exact words all the time, lol. Everything in medicine is latin...
I actually laughed out loud during an Anatomy & Physiology test because I saw the words "Corpus Cavernosum" and got the mental image of Harry pointing his wand at Draco, shouting those words, and Draco falling over, grabbing his crotch, and screaming. xD
My what is on the 368th wipe?
Eat more vegetables ffs
2 capsules of psyllium fiber with every meal will change this cat's life.
I think this means you're not done pooping.
Time for a shower.