Ask Lemmy

Don't spend all your time reading news, they are purposely negative because it generates more interest and money, don't take everything you read as truth.

99% of these problems won't turn into anything other than a faded memory.

End of the day, nothing you can do will change what's happening half way across the world, so why let it change you?

I scroll lemmy. Apparently we are about to go to war with Texas.

Focus:

Exactly as Stephen R. Covey pointed-out, in "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families"

https://www.amazon.com/Habits-Effective-Families-Revised-Updated/dp/1250857775/

You have a Circle-of-Concern: all the things you attach your awareness on,

and you also have a Circle-of-Influence: all the things you actually can alter.

Since the bigger your Circle-of-Concern, the LESS life-energy you have for your Circle-of-Influence, therefore you need to deliberately reduce your Circle-of-Concern, in order to expand your Circle-of-influence.

That's it: it's that simple.

Deny awareness-vampire processes your lifeblood.

Own your own self, more, & use that self-owning in order to make your portion of the world more-healthy.

Just because mass-media did all it could to make one boundaryless, helplessly stuck in consuming-trance, bedazzled & led-along like steers the industry is bringing into the abbatoir, doesn't mean that you or I agreed to our lives doing/being only that, does it?

We never agreed.

It is our right to break the "agreement" that our childhoods were signed-into, before we could do any considered-reasoning.

Either we have the guts & gall to do it, or our-lives are consumed by the "machine" that exists only for sake of its own transient profit-sensations.

Owning one's own life is a right.

_ /\ _

I gave up on everyone: I've packed my shit and moved back to the EU, to a middle of nowhere, population 50. Closest neighbor is a 10 minute walk away. Started a large garden, learned some blacksmithing and basic carpentry. Still working remotely for the same company as before, but now when I go outside I have fresh air, I can see the stars and I can hear nobody.

How do I cope? Poorly

Pot helps, for a little while at least

By helping people nearby.

Part of it is the mantra “out of my control, out of my concern.” Or “not my circus, not my monkeys.” That doesn’t mean I don’t care. It means I do what I can do, and try not to despair about what I can’t change.

I’m 51, I grew up with media fear mongering of the Cold War, the hole in the ozone layer and AIDS. I don’t think there has ever been a period in my life where there hasn’t been a threat in some form or another, and I sleep like a baby. We aren’t going backwards, it’s just another day at the office.

If you find yourself worrying about events on the other side of the world then you need to switch off the news and focus on what you can control in your own life. Sure, WW3 could be around the corner, Covid 2 Electric Boogaloo could be more lethal or the icebergs could melt, but we can’t do a goddamn thing about it, so what is worrying going to accomplish?

Worry about paying the mortgage, making sure your family are fed, and stay safe.

How do I cope?

The media sells the idea the world is on fire. By a lot of measures, humanity is the best it's ever been:

Things do seem bad, things do need fixing. My advice is to pick one singular part of the world you want to improve and figure out how to fix it. Something like abolishing prison labor or environmentalism. It needs to be something you can make a noticeable dent in, where you can see your own contribution to the effort.

Don't change tack every time something new like Isreal-Hamas or the scuffle at the US-Mexico border happens. You picked that one thing to fix, remember? And unless you plan on going down to the border with a gun, how do you plan on making a real difference? If you can't make a difference, why let it bother you?

Either turn the news off or do something about it i.e protest, donate to the ACLU etc.

Watching the news and not taking any tangible action is a recipe for depression and is thoroughly pointless.

I browse Lemmy & Reddit for 12-16hrs per day and eat out of bean tins. I shower once per week before meeting my probation officer.

That's about it.

I’m trying to enjoy things while they last and appreciate how precious they are, especially nature. Sometimes I wonder whether I should be preparing for the brutal future that is to come, since there is no avoiding famine, draughts, mass migrations and wars that the climate change will cause. But we don’t have enough information about what exactly will happen, and since humans have an unbelievable ability to adapt, it can be left for the future. so the only thing I can do now is create memories and spend time with loved ones so I’m not full of regrets once we lose everything

I don't doom scroll.

I read a copy of my local, still-Independent newspaper free every morning with digital access to my library.

I vote in every local, State and Federal election.

I vote Progressive in the Primaries and Democrat in the General.

I say 'Yes' to any/all referendums that Tax the wealthy.

That's about all I can do without financially impacting my family or my career. If it was feasible I'd maybe even start attending my Town Hall meetings just to get a barometer reading on my local Council Members.

Crazy thing is I'm 36yo, and sanity checks have required me to act like a 60yo from the 90s... minus the 'got mine' Boomer attitude.

Don't read/watch news. That's the only advice I can trully gie you since news are made to purposfully make people restless.

Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.

I was listening to a podcast about the scientists responsible of monitoring potentially world threatening asteroid collisions with the earth. They are constantly reminded that the whole world could blink out of existence in an instant. But they continue their job because that’s the part they have control over. I worry of the things I can change. Wether they being small or big and wether my impact is small or big. If I have no control over, I acknowledge it and move on.

On average the world is better than it's ever been. Higher life expectancies, less war, better quality of life; it's all generally on the up. Would you rather go back to the last financial crisis? When the ozone layer was being depleted? The interment threat of nuclear annihilation? Race riots? Women not being able to vote? High infant mortality? etc, etc

By dedicating a certain amount of time for things I enjoy while pretending that the world outside doesn't exist. That time when I watch an anime, or read a book, or write fanfiction, or cook something delicious... that keeps me sane, it keeps me from falling back on my natural tendency to focus on all the bad things and ignore the good in the world.

You cannot allow yourself to be in that "constant stress" because it wears you down and grinds your sanity and willpower like a big belt sander.

That timeout revitalises me, and gives me the balance to deal with the stresses and worries about everything else.

Obviously there isn't a silver bullet, and mindfulness is probably the best bet here.

Log off. It's that simple. Your stress will reduce linearly with reduced screen time

Like this:

I started therapy a year ago.

I enjoy walking my dog (usually) and sitting with my cat.

I spend way, way more time exercising than is normal or mentally healthy probably, but it's been my coping mechanism for years and I leaned into it.

I try to invite friends over when people have time. It's not often. I'm that age where people are starting to get married and have kids and move away.

I'm miserable most of the time. I try to ignore the shitty politics, the news, the cost of housing, the cost of food, the quicksand it feels like we are all slowly sinking into.

I've decided I'm never having kids. They don't deserve to be forced to exist in this.

The only consolation I've found is an answer to a similar post to this on Reddit a couple years ago - someone in their 60s or so was explaining that for what it's worth, the world is always on fire if you only focus on that part. They grew up in the cold war, doing bomb shelter drills and hearing how they were going to get nuked by Russia. The economy has its issues then. The government has its issues then. I think those issues are worse now, but honestly who knows. You have to look for moments of brightness and try to avoid focusing on the morass of terribleness that everyone is trying to shove down your throat. It's not easy. But the alternative is worse.

Copius amounts of alcohol.

1. Do what you can. Reduce your carbon footprint by eating less meat, using cars less, flying less. OK, by yourself it's not going to make a huge difference, but at least you will know that personally, you aren't making it worse. Join a group that is trying to make a positive difference.

2. Concentrate on the little things that make you happy. You can't stop climate change on your own but you can make something nice for dinner.

3. Value your friends and keep in touch with them. They probably feel pretty much the same as you do. Cheer each other up and support each other.

4. Get a hobby to keep yourself occupied.

That's all I can think of.

Best advice I have is to reach out in your local community to help where you can.

Doesn't matter if it's a municipal food bank, a church running a shelter, a charity helping battered spouses, or some kind of a mutual aid group getting people caught up on the bills... just working with others to help fix what you can does an amazing amount for your mental health. Volunteer to help shelter and feed migrants or the homeless. There's after school programs for kids in single parent households or who's parents have to work too much to be there for them. Cities across the US have citizens councils where local problems are brought and attempts to solve them are made.

I know it all sounds cliche and it's all a bandaid on the bigger picture's problems but, in terms of your own mental health it can do wonders... plus I guarantee groups local to you need an extra set of hands on a regular basis. When bad things are going around, we start to worry... when the bad things are enormous and out of any semblance of our control we think we can do nothing. That's not true, you can do something, just on a local or regional scale. Reach out and offer to help in any way you can.

Keep in mind that American news is not really news. It's strictly entertainment and you should treat it as such. FOX, MSNBC, CNN are all for profit enterprises and they are completely focused on that and nothing else. That asshole fuck face that owns FOX even admitted it in court under oath.

So instead of informing the public, these entities present "news" in a way that is designed to make you emotionally react, give you a dopamine hit, instead of actually informing you of anything. Are some worse than others? Yes, but all of them do it to some degree or another. I personally believe that the down fall of this country will eventually be tracked to the elimination of equal time laws and the limits of entities owning media outlets. It used to be a single entity could not own more than 11 broadcast stations. Those laws need to come back and it's an absolute emergency that they do.

To sum up the above: You are constantly being manipulated by the media you watch to make you feel that things are a lot worse than they really are, so some asshole somewhere can make more money. Yes, your feeling of things being out of control is only because some fuck face is making money from you feeling that way.

My suggestion is do not watch TV for your news. Read. If you want to learn about American politics, read a foreign newspaper that comes from a country that really doesn't have a lot of skin in American Politics. Better yet, get involved in your local political scene and make yourself a part of the news cycle.

I just don't read news and I try to focus on my own life instead. Try to put social media to minimum/

Accepting this is what my species is like and that this is the world we've made for ourselves, is the hard bit.
The good bit is that it will be over soon.

The rest is depression.

How do you cope with all this without just giving up?

By making it personal.
No but seriously, in my country (Germoney) a terrible plan of the far-right fucknuggets got revealed and the people are taking it to the streets in response. During this week, I activated quite a number of co-workers to BE there this weekend. You can change people, you can change them with respect, words and your deeds. I'm a firm believer of "do good and talk about it". The process is a bit grindy though, ngl ;)

Weed

Making memes and lexapro.

I'm going to be honest, this will sound silly, but... Watching Avatar The Last Airbender really helped.

Giving up isn't so bad, but for myself I limit how much social media and news I consume and do my best to plan life ahead for any upcoming tragedies when I do get my periodic doses.

Not much we can do about the truly terrible things happening, but we can make existence a little less shitty around ourselves.

You and I are not the center of the universe, it's okay to just exist.

Honestly I dissociate, focus on myself and people I love, the world is a lost cause - probably won't have kids

I compartmentalize. Focus on things at a smaller scale, and work through them one by one. Try not to distract yourself too much on the things that are out of your control. Prioritize the ones that you can actually control. Then identify the short term and long term ones and further prioritize based on that.

That's the neat part, I don't.

It's perfectly fine to withdraw a bit from the angrier politics, news and doomscrolling, even more so if you're noticing that it's actively bringing you down. It's an easy pattern to fall into. Turns out fear, annoyance, distrust and anger are pretty engaging. They are also extremely easy buttons to push for fun, political power, and, above all, profit.

We weren't built to deal with every one of a zillion things wrong with the world every hour of every day. Still, that is what happens when a combination of blind machine learning optimization (for profit, of course), sensationalist greed, and some rando's political opinions decides what you see. In the long history of the human race, borrowing more and fresher worries from all over the world has never been the norm.

I tend to go out of my way to eliminate politics from my life, aside from voting, pretty much. By all means stay informed enough to do what little you can as a random individual, but you can do that without wallowing in every fecal particle of political drama.