this post was submitted on 15 Jul 2023

77 points (97.5% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26753 readers

1896 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world

Rules: (interactive)

1) Be nice and; have fun

Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them

2) All posts must end with a '?'

This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?

3) No spam

Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.

4) NSFW is okay, within reason

Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].

5) This is not a support community.

It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.

Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

candyman337@lemmy.world

Bluetreefrog@lemmy.world

TheSaneWriter@lemm.ee

TheSaneWriter@lemmy.thesanewriter.com

candyman337@sh.itjust.works

Asudox@lemmy.world

can@lemmy.ca

lemmy_bot@lemmy.world

beefbaby182@lemmy.world

AsudoxDev@programming.dev

What's something you did because you believed society expected you to do it and later realized that you actually didn't want that? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 year ago by Snowman44@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

38 comments fedilink hide all child comments

top 35 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] cynar@lemmy.world 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Fitting in. For a long time I tried to be the sort of person people liked. Unfortunately, I couldn't really pass as normal, and ended up more akin to a cross between Sheldon, and the main character in the Lego movie.

I finally realised I didn't actually care about fitting in. Instead I focused on becoming the best version of me I could. Centering myself and accepting my weirdness helped a huge amount.

Ammusingly, I now "fit in" far better than I ever did. I've gathered a collection of friends who match my vibe. People either think I'm weird, and back off (I don't really care about those), or think I'm weird, and that that's awesome. It turns out, my fellow weirdos are far more fun.

[–] Pat12@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Human beings don't seek to fit in with others because of a societal expectation necessarily. Biologically speaking, it is beneficial for us to be amongst a group. We rely on others to survive.

[–] Ingressagent@lemmy.world 29 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Goto college. Tried it out for a year. Went back to the work force. Good career now almost 20 years on

[–] activator90@lemmynsfw.com 5 points 1 year ago

If you don't mind, what do you do?

[–] _cerpin_taxt_@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Same. College is a racket. Only a handful of fields truly need a degree. The rest is a cash grab. 15 years into my career and am always the only guy without a degree, yet one of the most knowledgeable.

[–] Protoknuckles@lemmy.world 27 points 1 year ago

It's super silly, but eating a snack cake. I was a teenager, sitting on my couch at home and I was eating a snack cake, like Little Debbie's, or Drake's or something when I realized "this cake is awful." It just didn't taste good. Like, not that it went bad or stale, it just was crap. And then I realized I was just eating it to eat. It was purely empty calories. Made me a lot more cognizant of what I chose to eat.

[–] sloonark@lemm.ee 23 points 1 year ago

Drinking alcohol. I never enjoyed it, but I used to have a beer when I was out just to fit in. Then I stopped because I realised it made me feel like crap, tasted bad and had no redeeming qualities. Now that I'm older I'm comfortable saying I don't drink.

[–] ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Be cis

[–] activator90@lemmynsfw.com -1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

For me it was, be trans

[–] sapient_cogbag@infosec.pub 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Society doesn't want people to be trans. In fact, it loves trying to get rid of us or subjugating us.

[+] activator90@lemmynsfw.com -19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

[removed by mod]

[–] sapient_cogbag@infosec.pub 9 points 1 year ago

Given that people are continuously trying to make existing in public as a trans person hard or completely illegal, or treat trans people as sexual predators and legalise the other parent kidnapping their kid, or any of a million other things I can't be arsed to list, I recommend gaining a little perspective.

But I don't think you're arguing in good faith soooo >.<

[–] NounsAndWords@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

I don't believe you. Please, tell me about some of these events where you, personally, were subtly or openly harassed for being 'a "cis".' (It doesn't count when people tell you to fuck off for being a dick first).

[–] PoliticalAgitator@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

At least put some effort into your lies. Nobody who goes outside and interacts with other people is going to fall for this.

If you're being openly harassed, it's because you've chosen to be a dogshit person, not because of the opinions you hold about your own genitals.

[–] hahattpro@lemmy.world -1 points 1 year ago

Are you being forced to be trans or choice to be trans as your own will ?

[–] Jackthelad@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Have relationships.

It's far better being single.

[–] Chrisosaur@startrek.website 5 points 1 year ago

Having experienced both, I think it’s more accurate to say having bad relationships.

[–] maegul@lemmy.ml 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

“Be successful”.

It’s not entirely bad. But there’s a lot of baggage in the idea and it masks a lot of what’s actually going on which is finding a place in the world and understanding yourself better all while playing a game for the success that you may not care for in the end at all. The whole thing is more branding than many let on and it’s very attractive to the young mind.

EDIT: makes -> masks

[–] gargantuanprism@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

getting married
having kids
Consuming animal products

[–] banana_meccanica@feddit.it 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Running up for having a first sexual experience at 22 years old and it was so traumatic, disgusting and makes me hate intimacy forever.

[–] hahattpro@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How bad could it be ? Are you male or female ?

Is it voluntary in both side ?

[–] banana_meccanica@feddit.it 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I am a male, and yes was voluntary from both sides. It was bad because rushed, so no feelings, bad erection and generally fell wrong, ended with even no orgasm, just sadness. She was a girl and I think she ended with my same conclusion, on rush for having sex without any good feels dedication with a barely wrong idea of what to doing, we treat us like no human at all, horrible and traumatic.

[–] NounsAndWords@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

Avatar

[–] Absolutely_Clueless@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

I nearly got my ears pierced when I was 10, but right as I was about to go to my appointment I chickened out and I will be forever grateful. I didn't really care for jewellery then I still don't now. Piercings especially seem more annoying than anything to me.

It took until I was 16 for relatives to stop gifting me random pairs of earrings, though lol

[–] hahattpro@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Piggyback my relatives with my income because collectivism ideology of culture. I don't want, and I still not find a logical purpose for this.

In fact, I just asked on Lemmy day ago.

https://lemmy.world/post/1529311

[–] Vaggumon@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Join a Church. Go to college.

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hard work

[–] reclipse@lemdro.id 1 points 1 year ago

same here.

[–] Skellybones@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Living

[–] T0rrent01@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Identify as a woman.

load more comments